Yesterday Was Rough....

I cried more yesterday than I have in a long time....

I went to Weight Watchers and was up a pound. That equals 4 sticks of butter!!! I didn't stay for the meeting....I just couldn't. I cried all the way home. I cried for an hour when I got home (I was ironing while I cried....so the time wasn't a total waste). I was so upset and frustrated.

I worked out at the gym twice (thank you snowstorm for preventing me from getting to the gym ....that is sarcasm in case you can't read between my lines). I wrote down everything I ate.

I wanted to throw in the towel. OK so I will stay fat and die early.....what does it matter. No, I have not changed my mind about gastric bypass surgery!!! No, I am not willing to be a contestant on the Biggest Loser!!!! This is my private war and yesterday I lost a battle....

I spent so much of the day trying to regroup. I went for a pedicure. I went to Publix and bought a new variety of veggies for the steamer (asparagus, cabbage, onions, bean sprouts and water chestnuts). I also bought some grapes (at $2.49 a pound). I even splurged on a pound of shrimp to try in the steamer.

Even with all my best attempts to improve my mood and Jenn's encouragements....I still head a voice in the back of my head saying "You are a failure....you will always be fat." Very, very painful....

Did I blow the day by eating what I shouldn't? NO. Not that I didn't think about it.

This was one of the worst day I have had in a long, long time....

What I need is .....I am not sure.....but I do know I do not need more advice.....I am up to my eyeballs with advice. I guess I just am asking for encouragement. No, I am not asking anyone to join my pity party and say "Oh Donna, it's OK." I need "Donna, I know you can do it." or "Donna, hang in there you are doing OK" or "My Donna, your ear lobes are looking thinner."

I need my cheering section.....

This is my private war to get healthier but I decided to make it public by writing this blog. I think you will agree most times my entries are positive and upbeat. So please allow me this entry to be just a little down.

Today is a new day and I didn't screw up yesterday (eating wise). So here I go again into battle....chasing my demons away....

Take notice: THIS IS A WAR I FULLY INTEND TO WIN....one day at a time....