The Big Fat Bald Blob

This is a tough entry to write. The title let's you know how I felt last Friday. I know I shouldn't complain about my hair knowing that there have been people in my life who have lost their hair due to chemo......please do not think I am being insensitive......I am not.

I went to get my hair cut. As you know from previous entries, my hair is thin and baby fine. Wayne put highlights in it to help make it not look so thin. Then he washed my hair. I sat in the chair so he could cut it. I looked at my reflection in the mirror and hated how my hair looked soaking wet. Wayne then made the innocent comment...."Your hair has gotten thin"......I started to cry and could not stop......Now instead of seeing myself I saw this big blob of fat with just a few strands of hair. The fact that I couldn't top crying made it uncomfortable for all of us. I wanted to just run out to my car and drive away......that wasn't a good option since then everyone would see me with wet hair and looking like a fool....

By the time Wayne was done, my hair looked good. I felt better. Wayne even suggested I take pre-natal vitamins to help with hair growth. He said there are a lot of different options...Rogaine??....I don't want to look like one of the Smith Brothers....and with my luck the hair on my head wouldn't change but I would have a great beard!!!!

It is obvious my self-image has a long way to go......maybe that big fat bald blob will never escape from within me......so what can I do....maybe I need to work on the self-esteem and the rest will follow.....

While I work on the inside of me......I also try to work on the outside of me....the curling iron and I are becoming good friends.....don't worry I do not set it too hot......that would be pretty sad.....burning off the rest of my hair......

Hair......body......self-esteem......I have my work cut out for me.....please put up with me while I try to get myself together......this has become more challenging than I thought....