Why Do I Still Crave Positive Feedback???

As a child I always wanted my parents approval and praise. Being one of four children doesn't allow for the attention that each of us would like. My parents referred to me as the dependable one. Have a crisis.....I'm your girl. Having a party....not so much. I still find I am seeking approval whether it be at work or in the decisions I make through out my life. I am not sure how much my weight issues and desire to get healthy have played into my psyche but I think they have probably played a lot into the person I am today.

I allow people to talk about themselves and praise themselves while I sit there and agree. Meanwhile inside I am saying "how about me?" and not let the pain I feel show.

I have friends who are great at encouraging me......I am so grateful for them.

I continue to allow myself to be a doormat.....not so smart.

Do I put up with people that hurt me because I seek approval?

I am hoping as I make this journey.....I start to feel better about myself. Most people would find it hard to believe how much I let my physical appearance affect me inside.

I hated being the dependable one.....but yet that is one of the qualities that has defined me throughout my life. Some things are so ingrained in us that they will never change.

Impulsive......wish I could be. Free spirit......no way.

Dependable.....reliable.....YES. BUT I need 24 hours to think through changes and more than that to decide anything more than what to make for dinner.

I envy people who don't worry about everything as much as I do. I envy people who can do things with a minutes notice. I envy people who roll with the punches.

My main goal now is to be comfortable with me.....warts and all.....