I am not going to lie to you. I have not been perfect in the eating department since Wednesday. I have been allowing myself some treats. A few cookies here and there, sauce on the tortellini and a few other goodies.
DO NOT PANIC !!!! I have invested way too much of my time and brain power into the last 12 months.....I will not blow it now.
Real life happens and I don't have to be a martyr. I can enjoy the tastes of the holidays and not go backwards. At Thanksgiving, I allowed myself to enjoy the day. The next day, I got right back on track and lost another 7 pounds before Christmas.
I am VERY aware of everything I put on my mouth. I am looking forward to the holidays drawing to a close. Hitting the doldrums of January makes it easier not to stray....not as many choices to turn away.
Considering the craziness of my life these last few weeks....getting ready for the holidays, Mom coming to visit, the flooding of half my house and a lot going on at work has made for some challenges. The old Donna might have used this as an excuse to make poor choices in the food dept but not the new Donna.
I am proud of the way I have handled the holidays and all the other nonsense. I already have training sessions scheduled for Monday and Thursday of this week. I am finding new ways to handle the stress.
Is feels good to be growing....not my weight.....but my ability to find options that work with my desire to get healthier. Each day is like a baby step, now I am learning to walk on my own.......not always firm footing but with each stride feeling stronger and more confident.
On to 2011..... if it is half as good for me personally as 2010, it will be a great year. I can't wait to see how I look and feel 12 months from now. Here I go.....
Sunday, December 26, 2010
Getting Up Off The Floor
OK, once again I opened my mouth and Carol heard what I said. We were talking about people having difficulty getting up from the floor after exercising. Since I fell a few years ago not only did I break my arm but caused permanent damage to the nerves in my right knee (yes, this was confirmed by both my family practitioner and an orthopedist). I am not making this up!!! If you have been following this blog, you know I do not make things up.....in fact, I usually go the other way and say way too much that is honest.
Anyway back to the floor. As we discussed the difficulty people may have getting up from the floor (did I mention one of my leg is shorter than the other which also adds to the difficulty and makes it appear I sometimes walk with a limp). I told Carol that I can get off the floor is there is something to grab on to like a chair, bench, railing, etc.... But to just get up on my own.....can't really do it.
As the words were coming out of my mouth, I could see the gleam in her eyes. A NEW CHALLENGE !!!! It reminds me of when I told her I wanted to work on climbing stairs. You know stair/step work has now become part of my regular routine at the gym.
So look forward to posts about me trying to get up off the floor after exercising.....when oh when will I learn to keep these thoughts to myself....my knees are shaking already.....
I feel like I have spent much of my adult like being knocked down by my own lack of self confidence and self esteem or by words from others, intentional or unintentional....I guess it is time I learned to get up and dust myself off all under my own willpower.....
Anyway back to the floor. As we discussed the difficulty people may have getting up from the floor (did I mention one of my leg is shorter than the other which also adds to the difficulty and makes it appear I sometimes walk with a limp). I told Carol that I can get off the floor is there is something to grab on to like a chair, bench, railing, etc.... But to just get up on my own.....can't really do it.
As the words were coming out of my mouth, I could see the gleam in her eyes. A NEW CHALLENGE !!!! It reminds me of when I told her I wanted to work on climbing stairs. You know stair/step work has now become part of my regular routine at the gym.
So look forward to posts about me trying to get up off the floor after exercising.....when oh when will I learn to keep these thoughts to myself....my knees are shaking already.....
I feel like I have spent much of my adult like being knocked down by my own lack of self confidence and self esteem or by words from others, intentional or unintentional....I guess it is time I learned to get up and dust myself off all under my own willpower.....
And a partridge in a pear tree.....
Who would think that I would get excited about some of the Christmas presents I received this year...
1. a Weight Watchers Food Scale
2. Weight Watchers work out weighted gloves
3. a water aerobics shirt to keep warm in the pool
4. the Magic Bullet- to use for some new food adventures
6. the Biggest Loser calorie counter guide (this will help me with the WW new Points Plus program)
These are all items I wanted. They will become part of my New Year resolutions to workout harder and experiment more with healthy foods. I am sssooo excited to begin using them.
Those of you who know me well know I have to mentally prepare for change, so I am giving myself this week to wrap my head around these presents. Jan 1st, they become part of my daily routine...no ifs, ands or buts !!!!!!
1. a Weight Watchers Food Scale
2. Weight Watchers work out weighted gloves
3. a water aerobics shirt to keep warm in the pool
4. the Magic Bullet- to use for some new food adventures
6. the Biggest Loser calorie counter guide (this will help me with the WW new Points Plus program)
These are all items I wanted. They will become part of my New Year resolutions to workout harder and experiment more with healthy foods. I am sssooo excited to begin using them.
Those of you who know me well know I have to mentally prepare for change, so I am giving myself this week to wrap my head around these presents. Jan 1st, they become part of my daily routine...no ifs, ands or buts !!!!!!
Additional time...
GOOD NEWS !!!!
Since there were some weeks when I couldn't get a training session in..... Carol is having my contract extended through April. I feel like I have gotten an extra Christmas present !!!
The extra months gives me time to save up money to continue my sessions with Carol through all of 2011. Our time together is not only about the workouts but are also counseling/advice sessions. Carol makes suggestions and give me pointers. I also feel very comfortable sharing my concerns and goals with her. She has become more than a trainer.....I consider her a good friend. I share things with her that I wouldn't say to a lot of people. I am very lucky I was matched with her last January.
I know that as I make progress she is already thinking ahead to what new challenge I should face. That's a good trainer....she encourages and pushes me. The positive feedback boost my confidence and morale.
Knowing in 2011 we will build on the foundation we have laid this year makes next year one of excitement. I can't wait....
Since there were some weeks when I couldn't get a training session in..... Carol is having my contract extended through April. I feel like I have gotten an extra Christmas present !!!
The extra months gives me time to save up money to continue my sessions with Carol through all of 2011. Our time together is not only about the workouts but are also counseling/advice sessions. Carol makes suggestions and give me pointers. I also feel very comfortable sharing my concerns and goals with her. She has become more than a trainer.....I consider her a good friend. I share things with her that I wouldn't say to a lot of people. I am very lucky I was matched with her last January.
I know that as I make progress she is already thinking ahead to what new challenge I should face. That's a good trainer....she encourages and pushes me. The positive feedback boost my confidence and morale.
Knowing in 2011 we will build on the foundation we have laid this year makes next year one of excitement. I can't wait....
Christmas Eve Work Out At The Gym
I met with my trainer, Carol, at the gym on Christmas Eve morning. I wanted to get at least one more workout in before the holiday.
WOW.....a year ago I wouldn't have worried about trying to get on more training session in but that is how my life has changed in a year. I worked hard and was sweating a lot when we were finished. We spent a few minutes talking about my progress in the last year.
Carol talked about how we started in the Yoga room by ourselves with me just walking back and forth carrying weights. Move ahead 11 months and here I am doing the stepper, dead lifts, squats, water aerobics, elliptical and a variety of other things I didn't think were possible. Along with some weight loss (not hitting my personal goal but that is OK) I know I am one the right path and will continue into 2011.
Last year, I headed into the holidays knowing I had to make some changes or else (not going to say what the or else was....don't want to go there). This year, I have headed into the holidays with HOPE and the belief that I CAN ......
Can do what? Not to sound cocky but whatever I want to....I believe in me and that is all that really matters !!!!!
WOW.....a year ago I wouldn't have worried about trying to get on more training session in but that is how my life has changed in a year. I worked hard and was sweating a lot when we were finished. We spent a few minutes talking about my progress in the last year.
Carol talked about how we started in the Yoga room by ourselves with me just walking back and forth carrying weights. Move ahead 11 months and here I am doing the stepper, dead lifts, squats, water aerobics, elliptical and a variety of other things I didn't think were possible. Along with some weight loss (not hitting my personal goal but that is OK) I know I am one the right path and will continue into 2011.
Last year, I headed into the holidays knowing I had to make some changes or else (not going to say what the or else was....don't want to go there). This year, I have headed into the holidays with HOPE and the belief that I CAN ......
Can do what? Not to sound cocky but whatever I want to....I believe in me and that is all that really matters !!!!!
So How Is the NEW Weight Watchers Program Working?
I am writing and writing and writing everything I eat. It sure does take a lot of work !!! Week 2 of trying to make the writing of ALL foods I eat a part of my daily life. So far I haven't missed a day. I feel really good about the new program and points. Now I see a recipe and whip out my new calculator to see if it is worth the points. There are definitely times when I say NO WAY I am wasting points on this or that....
I have even been able to fit in an occasional Christmas cookie....yes I used the singular form.....cookie....not cookies. I even made the conscious decision to not make my favorite holiday cookie....Walnut Slices. Since no one else in the house likes them or can eat them (due to allergies), I would be the only one eating them and that would just be setting up myself for disaster. Those cookies have a way of calling my name !!!!
I even did something more surprising......I threw away a pumpkin pie. I bought it with the intention of eating just one slice....it would have been 9 points. Which I could have had using the bonus points.....I kept saying maybe tomorrow, maybe tomorrow....well guess what?? Tomorrow didn't come....so I pitched it. Major change.....not something I would have done in the past.
This may be a no brainer for some but for me.....a small change that can make for a huge difference overall......
OH BTW.....week 2....another good loss at the scale.
I have even been able to fit in an occasional Christmas cookie....yes I used the singular form.....cookie....not cookies. I even made the conscious decision to not make my favorite holiday cookie....Walnut Slices. Since no one else in the house likes them or can eat them (due to allergies), I would be the only one eating them and that would just be setting up myself for disaster. Those cookies have a way of calling my name !!!!
I even did something more surprising......I threw away a pumpkin pie. I bought it with the intention of eating just one slice....it would have been 9 points. Which I could have had using the bonus points.....I kept saying maybe tomorrow, maybe tomorrow....well guess what?? Tomorrow didn't come....so I pitched it. Major change.....not something I would have done in the past.
This may be a no brainer for some but for me.....a small change that can make for a huge difference overall......
OH BTW.....week 2....another good loss at the scale.
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
Is Moving Furniture Considered A Workout??
I may not have gone to the gym but I definitely had a workout yesterday.....
Emptying 3 closets and one bedroom in a short period of time is definitely a workout. Lifting, dragging, carrying.....reminds me of the gym.
I was tired when it was all said and done. Knowing next week or the week after I will have to do the return trip thrills me beyond belief.......NOT.
Tomorrow I am going to the gym.....at least at the gym I can get away from the the lovely view of my living room........
So sad I am looking forward to going to the gym so I can get away from my chaotic house.....
I don't do well with clutter especially when it is sitting in the middle of my living room......
Wonder if I should create a DVD.....Moving Like You Are Moving ...Furniture that is.....picture me lugging things across the screen...lamps, tables, TV's, boxes.....LOL......did you ever see the episode of I Love Lucy where Fred starts out carrying a plant across the stage? He keeps going back and forth and the plant gets larger and larger until he is carrying a palm tree. Maybe I can start by carrying something small like a ring box and by the end a dresser......might be pretty funny.....well at least to me.....after the last 2 days my sense of humor may be the only thing keeping me from losing not just weight but my mind......
Emptying 3 closets and one bedroom in a short period of time is definitely a workout. Lifting, dragging, carrying.....reminds me of the gym.
I was tired when it was all said and done. Knowing next week or the week after I will have to do the return trip thrills me beyond belief.......NOT.
Tomorrow I am going to the gym.....at least at the gym I can get away from the the lovely view of my living room........
So sad I am looking forward to going to the gym so I can get away from my chaotic house.....
I don't do well with clutter especially when it is sitting in the middle of my living room......
Wonder if I should create a DVD.....Moving Like You Are Moving ...Furniture that is.....picture me lugging things across the screen...lamps, tables, TV's, boxes.....LOL......did you ever see the episode of I Love Lucy where Fred starts out carrying a plant across the stage? He keeps going back and forth and the plant gets larger and larger until he is carrying a palm tree. Maybe I can start by carrying something small like a ring box and by the end a dresser......might be pretty funny.....well at least to me.....after the last 2 days my sense of humor may be the only thing keeping me from losing not just weight but my mind......
So Who Said Vacation Had To Be Fun....
Monday was officially Day 1 of my vacation.....time for R&R. Yeah right !!! Not a chance......
You know the day is not going to go well when the first words you hear are "Donna, there is water in the hallway". As you awake from the sound sleep you try to understand the words and the wake up and think "What the hell is water doing in the hallway???" Not just the hallway.....the bathroom, laundry room, three closets, a bedroom, the living room and it was running out of the house and across the path in front of the house. Next thing I can remember is standing in the bathroom with a lot of water and trying to figure out.....WHAT DO I DO??? So I drive to Lowe's at 6:30 and they are not open yet.....need to get a wet and dry vac fast. I call my brother -in-law who suggests I call my insurance company. I call the claims line and that gets the balls rolling......
By 9:00, I have water removal people here tearing up carpeting and padding, baseboards and vinyl flooring. All the closets have been emptied into the middle of the living room and the contents of one bedroom are in my bedroom. My hutch is now in the center of my living room.....uugghh.....
There are 9 fans and dehumidifiers spread out throughout the house. It sounds like an airplane hanger and it is cold in the house. The cost $1,000 for my deductable.......sigh.....
6:00 PM, the contractor shows up and tells us what will be happening in the next few days and weeks.......I am getting a headache...
Flooring man will be here in the morning.....carpenter Monday at 11.....water removal company to check in daily......get back to contractor with any questions and issues.......
Day over !!
Get up and get ready for floor man. Take shower. Get out of shower to water on floor in bathroom. Not the same bathroom that caused the headaches yesterday......
Flush the toilet and water comes up through the floor around the toilet.
Call the contractor to see what plumber he will be using in my house next week. Uh oh....no plumbers who can come today because of so many frozen water lines due to the unusually cold weather in SC. Figures I have water problems when it is 18 degrees !!!! The contractor knows our dilemma and says he will get us a new toilet and install it himself today. Thanks goodness !!!
4:00......Bob, Mom, Jenn and I stand in the bathroom and admire the new porcelain throne. Had pathetic !!!!!
So here is the total.....
water damage.......who knows how much $$$$
money spent so far $1400
one working toilet.....priceless
.........can't wait to see what happens tomorrow......oh maybe I shouldn't have said that.....stay tuned......
You know the day is not going to go well when the first words you hear are "Donna, there is water in the hallway". As you awake from the sound sleep you try to understand the words and the wake up and think "What the hell is water doing in the hallway???" Not just the hallway.....the bathroom, laundry room, three closets, a bedroom, the living room and it was running out of the house and across the path in front of the house. Next thing I can remember is standing in the bathroom with a lot of water and trying to figure out.....WHAT DO I DO??? So I drive to Lowe's at 6:30 and they are not open yet.....need to get a wet and dry vac fast. I call my brother -in-law who suggests I call my insurance company. I call the claims line and that gets the balls rolling......
By 9:00, I have water removal people here tearing up carpeting and padding, baseboards and vinyl flooring. All the closets have been emptied into the middle of the living room and the contents of one bedroom are in my bedroom. My hutch is now in the center of my living room.....uugghh.....
There are 9 fans and dehumidifiers spread out throughout the house. It sounds like an airplane hanger and it is cold in the house. The cost $1,000 for my deductable.......sigh.....
6:00 PM, the contractor shows up and tells us what will be happening in the next few days and weeks.......I am getting a headache...
Flooring man will be here in the morning.....carpenter Monday at 11.....water removal company to check in daily......get back to contractor with any questions and issues.......
Day over !!
Get up and get ready for floor man. Take shower. Get out of shower to water on floor in bathroom. Not the same bathroom that caused the headaches yesterday......
Flush the toilet and water comes up through the floor around the toilet.
Call the contractor to see what plumber he will be using in my house next week. Uh oh....no plumbers who can come today because of so many frozen water lines due to the unusually cold weather in SC. Figures I have water problems when it is 18 degrees !!!! The contractor knows our dilemma and says he will get us a new toilet and install it himself today. Thanks goodness !!!
4:00......Bob, Mom, Jenn and I stand in the bathroom and admire the new porcelain throne. Had pathetic !!!!!
So here is the total.....
water damage.......who knows how much $$$$
money spent so far $1400
one working toilet.....priceless
.........can't wait to see what happens tomorrow......oh maybe I shouldn't have said that.....stay tuned......
Sunday, December 12, 2010
OMG It Is Cold In The Pool....
I went to water aerobics twice last week. The pool temp was 84 degrees which would be fine except outside it was much cooler. Any time the workout slowed down I was getting chills. A few times the instructor had me jogging or doing cross country skiing to warm up. She suggested I get a water vest to keep warm. As much as I dread wearing my bathing suit now I am going to add a vest.....I am sure this will look just lovely. She also suggested water shoes for better traction when I jog in the pool. OK vest and shoes in my bathing suit....better not be any cell phone camera's for this sight.....
I also have a problem breathing correctly to make my laps more efficient. I have seen some people use something like a snorkel and goggles. I might look into them and see how I so swimming laps.
So picture me water vest, water shoes, snorkel and goggles......LOL.
I guess this is the price I have to pay to get to a healthier me but dear God couldn't I do it without having to look like a jackass.
Oh well, laugh if you choose....I will have the last laugh when .....um...um...when.....oh who knows when....does it really matter???
I also have a problem breathing correctly to make my laps more efficient. I have seen some people use something like a snorkel and goggles. I might look into them and see how I so swimming laps.
So picture me water vest, water shoes, snorkel and goggles......LOL.
I guess this is the price I have to pay to get to a healthier me but dear God couldn't I do it without having to look like a jackass.
Oh well, laugh if you choose....I will have the last laugh when .....um...um...when.....oh who knows when....does it really matter???
If You Bite It You Must Write It....
As I said in a previous post Weight Watchers has revised their program. This means looking up everything and I mean EVERYTHING I eat. One night we had ravioli's and meat balls for dinner. I calculated the calories.....13 small round ravioli's were 6 points, 1/2 cup of sauce was 2 points and 6 small meatballs were 9 points. I decided 6 smalls meatballs weren't worth 9 points so I ate 4 instead and it was 6 points. Still a nice filling meal for 14 points....not too bad. I have been very diligent about writing down everything I eat. Usually, I spend about 15 minutes in the morning calculating what I am going to eat that day, This involves planning. I do try and switch things up. I also figure in what I am having for dinner. At the end of the day, I add back the points I didn't eat during the day but had written in my journal and that gives me a little more flexibility in the evening.
The difference is writing every bite.....
I used to not take into consideration the 1/2 slice of cheese I would eat while making lunch or that occasional Oreo....now I do. It has been very interesting....14 french fries equal 6 points.....98% fat free hot dogs are 1 point each. Fruit and veggies for the most part are 0 points but like they said at the meeting that doesn't mean you eat 10 banana's in a day. The hard part is things like my vitatops and 100 calorie coffee cake treats are now 3 points which makes me think twice before having them.
Yesterday, I has breakfast at Cracker Barrel for 15 points. Now that may sound like a lot of points but it wasn't when you consider I didn't eat anything else until dinner......which was WW lasagna. For breakfast I had grits, 2 turkey sausage, 2 eggs over easy (I even asked to have them made with cooking spray vs. butter- another first for me) and even had hash brown casserole.....that's a lot of food and kept me full until dinner.
So the revised program is a challenge and some work but that's good.....it has helped me refocus. Week 2 here I come......
The difference is writing every bite.....
I used to not take into consideration the 1/2 slice of cheese I would eat while making lunch or that occasional Oreo....now I do. It has been very interesting....14 french fries equal 6 points.....98% fat free hot dogs are 1 point each. Fruit and veggies for the most part are 0 points but like they said at the meeting that doesn't mean you eat 10 banana's in a day. The hard part is things like my vitatops and 100 calorie coffee cake treats are now 3 points which makes me think twice before having them.
Yesterday, I has breakfast at Cracker Barrel for 15 points. Now that may sound like a lot of points but it wasn't when you consider I didn't eat anything else until dinner......which was WW lasagna. For breakfast I had grits, 2 turkey sausage, 2 eggs over easy (I even asked to have them made with cooking spray vs. butter- another first for me) and even had hash brown casserole.....that's a lot of food and kept me full until dinner.
So the revised program is a challenge and some work but that's good.....it has helped me refocus. Week 2 here I come......
Monday, December 6, 2010
Why Can't Size _ Be Size _ In All Clothes ??
I saw a pretty shirt in a catalog. I ordered it in the size I am now wearing.......guess what.... I got it over my head, past my shoulders, even over the girls and then it stopped. It was a very fitted top. When we got near my waist and hips I could tell there was no way the shirt was going to complete its journey......oh well....
I returned the shirt, I could have ordered it in a larger size but then decided I didn't like the DAMN shirt. OK how is that for rational thinking .....duh??
In all honestly, the shirt turned out to be sheer and I would have had to wear a tank top underneath it (have I chased away all the men who read my blog.....LOL)..... dear Lord I am no way ready to wear 2 shirts at once.....
The problem with the range of fit in each size is a universal problem whether you are a size 6 or a size _ (you didn't think I would really put my size did you????)
I have to pick clothes that work with my body type. Where I am not ready for very form fitting clothes.....I am starting to lean towards brighter and bolder colors.....a la Lanie Kazan....I love that she is not a small person but yet she finds vibrant prints and her clothes make a statement.
As I move down in size ( note I did not say if I move down)....I may be able to go for more form fitting clothes but until that time.....I will go with a style I feel good in....just adding some color and designs vs. my normal solid color tops.....I will not...I repeat....will never wear slacks with bold prints....no matter how good I might look there are limits to what I would wear.....
Me in any kind of print slacks......LOL....to funny.....don't want to go there visually.....LOL.....I won't even wear underwear with print designs......LMAO......ok that last statement should have driven everyone away from this posting.....is anyone out there??????
I returned the shirt, I could have ordered it in a larger size but then decided I didn't like the DAMN shirt. OK how is that for rational thinking .....duh??
In all honestly, the shirt turned out to be sheer and I would have had to wear a tank top underneath it (have I chased away all the men who read my blog.....LOL)..... dear Lord I am no way ready to wear 2 shirts at once.....
The problem with the range of fit in each size is a universal problem whether you are a size 6 or a size _ (you didn't think I would really put my size did you????)
I have to pick clothes that work with my body type. Where I am not ready for very form fitting clothes.....I am starting to lean towards brighter and bolder colors.....a la Lanie Kazan....I love that she is not a small person but yet she finds vibrant prints and her clothes make a statement.
As I move down in size ( note I did not say if I move down)....I may be able to go for more form fitting clothes but until that time.....I will go with a style I feel good in....just adding some color and designs vs. my normal solid color tops.....I will not...I repeat....will never wear slacks with bold prints....no matter how good I might look there are limits to what I would wear.....
Me in any kind of print slacks......LOL....to funny.....don't want to go there visually.....LOL.....I won't even wear underwear with print designs......LMAO......ok that last statement should have driven everyone away from this posting.....is anyone out there??????
The New Program
Weight Watchers has started a new program....Points Plus. I am very excited about the change. I feel it is the jump start I need. Daily point allowances have changed. Point values on many foods have changed. Now we don't just look at fat and fiber....carb's and protein are now included in the point values. I also have to watch the sugar and sodium, too. Something that may have had a point value of 1 may now have a value of 3. This is forcing me to go back to the basics. I had to get a new points calculator, dining out guide and complete food guide.
I am also committing myself to keeping up my food journal......this is always hard for me. I do it for a week or two and then slip back to not writing it all down. Since the point values have changed, I have to keep looking the foods up so I might as well write them down.
Today, I had lunch at Moe's.....with the dining guide I was able to calculate my lunch with no problem. Tomorrow, when I go back to work it will be a new challenge....I guess I will try writing my plans for eating for the day and the change it as needed. I will have to see how it goes.
The great new change is that most vegetables and fruits are zero or minimal points. I think that will make the plan interesting for me. I can start to use my new vegetable steamer (see the recent entry....another birthday).
I have had a good year....not great but definitely good.....next year will be even better.....trying more new things.....learning more about me and what foods work best for me.....
I am more afraid to commit to writing my food journal than I was to committing to the gym....I wonder why.....maybe I just don't want to fail at things any more.....
Nothing wrong with that.....
PS I was down at the scales.....wow that statement in itself shows how I have changed....usually I would have started with whether or not I was up or down at the scales.....now I end with it......maybe because it is not all about the scale......but it definitely is all about me !!!!!
I am also committing myself to keeping up my food journal......this is always hard for me. I do it for a week or two and then slip back to not writing it all down. Since the point values have changed, I have to keep looking the foods up so I might as well write them down.
Today, I had lunch at Moe's.....with the dining guide I was able to calculate my lunch with no problem. Tomorrow, when I go back to work it will be a new challenge....I guess I will try writing my plans for eating for the day and the change it as needed. I will have to see how it goes.
The great new change is that most vegetables and fruits are zero or minimal points. I think that will make the plan interesting for me. I can start to use my new vegetable steamer (see the recent entry....another birthday).
I have had a good year....not great but definitely good.....next year will be even better.....trying more new things.....learning more about me and what foods work best for me.....
I am more afraid to commit to writing my food journal than I was to committing to the gym....I wonder why.....maybe I just don't want to fail at things any more.....
Nothing wrong with that.....
PS I was down at the scales.....wow that statement in itself shows how I have changed....usually I would have started with whether or not I was up or down at the scales.....now I end with it......maybe because it is not all about the scale......but it definitely is all about me !!!!!
What Do I Have To Complain About....
We all have times when we feel sorry for ourselves. Then life smacks us in the face and we realize that for the most part....life is good.
Last week was one of those weeks, I watched a dear friend deal with tough decisions. She was courageous, loyal and unselfish. Her choices were difficult. And while her world was spinning out of control what did she do ? .....she gave me my birthday present....
I felt a range of emotions....admiration, awe and also some guilt.
No one has a Norman Rockwell life.....at least no one I know. But to see someone going through such a nightmare and have them take the time to think about me made me feel a little foolish. I need to say the gift was great but I left her house thinking about the things I complain about.
It has been said that everything is relative to our own lives. My complaints or negative feelings are valid ....in my life..... but then you look at others who have been tested and it makes me want to say....Donna shut up....you really have nothing to complain about.....in the scheme of things my issues are small potato's....
I know that the way life works in a few days or weeks I will go back to focusing on the things I feel are issues in my own life.....that is just human nature....you hope the feeling you have experienced while watching someone face all that life can throw at her with grace and love....will not fade.....but I know they will.
My hope is that somewhere I will store the lessons I have observed and maybe complain just a little less.
Thanks Mary for being such a great teacher......
Last week was one of those weeks, I watched a dear friend deal with tough decisions. She was courageous, loyal and unselfish. Her choices were difficult. And while her world was spinning out of control what did she do ? .....she gave me my birthday present....
I felt a range of emotions....admiration, awe and also some guilt.
No one has a Norman Rockwell life.....at least no one I know. But to see someone going through such a nightmare and have them take the time to think about me made me feel a little foolish. I need to say the gift was great but I left her house thinking about the things I complain about.
It has been said that everything is relative to our own lives. My complaints or negative feelings are valid ....in my life..... but then you look at others who have been tested and it makes me want to say....Donna shut up....you really have nothing to complain about.....in the scheme of things my issues are small potato's....
I know that the way life works in a few days or weeks I will go back to focusing on the things I feel are issues in my own life.....that is just human nature....you hope the feeling you have experienced while watching someone face all that life can throw at her with grace and love....will not fade.....but I know they will.
My hope is that somewhere I will store the lessons I have observed and maybe complain just a little less.
Thanks Mary for being such a great teacher......
Black Friday
Up at 3:00 AM on Black Friday....at Target by 4:00 AM. The line for the electronics department is sssssooooo long. I really wanted the flip cam.....originally price $98.....on sale for $49.
How long did I stand in that line you may ask........
2 flippin' hours !!!!!!
Yes, I wanted the camera but not that bad. It became a game for me or should I say a challenge...I wanted to see how long I could stand.....OK I did have a shopping cart to lean on. I used it while I balanced on one leg then the other. I did squats right there in the aisle of Target. I stood on my toes and on my heels. I stretched my arms forward and stood on one leg using the cart as my stabilizer.
There is no way I could have done this a year ago. By the time I left the store a little after 6AM, my knees ached and I felt like they might lock up.
It was a good ache though......
I may have walked stiffly to the car but the Donna inside me.....definitely walked with a real spring in her step......she might have even clicked her heels as she jumped in the air......
How long did I stand in that line you may ask........
2 flippin' hours !!!!!!
Yes, I wanted the camera but not that bad. It became a game for me or should I say a challenge...I wanted to see how long I could stand.....OK I did have a shopping cart to lean on. I used it while I balanced on one leg then the other. I did squats right there in the aisle of Target. I stood on my toes and on my heels. I stretched my arms forward and stood on one leg using the cart as my stabilizer.
There is no way I could have done this a year ago. By the time I left the store a little after 6AM, my knees ached and I felt like they might lock up.
It was a good ache though......
I may have walked stiffly to the car but the Donna inside me.....definitely walked with a real spring in her step......she might have even clicked her heels as she jumped in the air......
Another birthday....
Instead of wasting a post about the person who forgot my birthday again......I will write about those that remembered.
Jenn made me stay up until midnight so she could give me her gift. It was something I had mentioned a long time ago.....a rice and vegetable steamer. I love it !!!! Something else to learn to use in the New Year !!!! I can picture those veggies and rice....yum!!
I also received lots of calls and birthday wishes. Some great gifts followed a new shawl (to add to my growing and varied collection), a bottle of wine and a pendant that is a flip flop with a palmetto tree on it.
At work, I was greeted with balloons, banners and confetti. Wonder how they remembered......maybe it was my subtle hints for the last 2 months.....LOL. My team also gave me a book called "It's All About You".....very appropriate,
There was a birthday breakfast at work and a dinner with Jenn and good friends to end the day.
I am blessed to have such special people in my life !!!!!
My glass is half full..... my heart and head are grateful to the people who remembered November 24th is my birthday.......and to the person who forgot again.....
Oh why waste my energy on the negative......that is not the way I am heading.....
Jenn made me stay up until midnight so she could give me her gift. It was something I had mentioned a long time ago.....a rice and vegetable steamer. I love it !!!! Something else to learn to use in the New Year !!!! I can picture those veggies and rice....yum!!
I also received lots of calls and birthday wishes. Some great gifts followed a new shawl (to add to my growing and varied collection), a bottle of wine and a pendant that is a flip flop with a palmetto tree on it.
At work, I was greeted with balloons, banners and confetti. Wonder how they remembered......maybe it was my subtle hints for the last 2 months.....LOL. My team also gave me a book called "It's All About You".....very appropriate,
There was a birthday breakfast at work and a dinner with Jenn and good friends to end the day.
I am blessed to have such special people in my life !!!!!
My glass is half full..... my heart and head are grateful to the people who remembered November 24th is my birthday.......and to the person who forgot again.....
Oh why waste my energy on the negative......that is not the way I am heading.....
A Step From Home....
I was lucky enough to get something I really wanted for my birthday. I was given a stepper with 2 risers. Now on the days I don't go to the gym I can work on steps from home. In the New Year, I plan on doing some type of workout everyday. The stepper will help me achieve that goal.
Up and down, down and up.....I can burn extra calories right in my living room !!!!!!
Why am I not starting now? I am trying to maintain and maybe lose a little throughout the holidays. The next few weeks will be hectic and I don't want to set myself up to fail. The New Year is just a few short weeks away.......
If there is one thing I have learned about myself this year it is I need to mentally prepare for any changes or goals I set out to achieve.
Don't worry....the stepper will not sit idle for long.....like the way I have made the gym a part of my life....so will the stepper.
Up and down, down and up.....I can burn extra calories right in my living room !!!!!!
Why am I not starting now? I am trying to maintain and maybe lose a little throughout the holidays. The next few weeks will be hectic and I don't want to set myself up to fail. The New Year is just a few short weeks away.......
If there is one thing I have learned about myself this year it is I need to mentally prepare for any changes or goals I set out to achieve.
Don't worry....the stepper will not sit idle for long.....like the way I have made the gym a part of my life....so will the stepper.
Sunday, November 21, 2010
Doing Something About the Things That Bother Me...
While working to improve my health, lose weight and improve my endurance.....let's face it.....you want to look better too. As I have said before a size 6 is not in my future but then again it was not in my past either....
As you get older there are things you notice that weren't there before.
I get my eyebrows waxed because I can't tweeze my eyebrows with my bifocals on....
I try to decide between getting my hair colored or pretending the grays are highlights....
I really do tell you all way too much about myself but then again that is the point of this blog.....isn't it???
Yesterday, I did something new.........I got my face waxed......yes, I said I got my face waxed !!!
I don't like the fuzz on my face and have become self conscious about it. I decided to get it removed. It felt strange......hot wax on your face and then feeling it being pulled off with some kind of strips. When I was done, I was very pleased with how it looked. I think it makes my face look less full (notice I didn't say slimmer....hey, this wasn't plastic surgery or a face lift after all). I will be curious to see how it looks when I put on some make-up on Monday.
Anyway, as I see things I can improve on while I continue to work on my weight and over all health.....I may get brave and try something else.....not really sure what they might be but then again I didn't wake up Saturday saying "Today, I will get my face waxed."
Small changes and easy fixes will help me endure the long road ahead......my weight is not an easy fix but is happening very, very slowly....improved overall health is happening....I can see it and feel it. I climbed a short flight of stairs yesterday without the usual one step stop, another step stop....
Note to self: your are a work in progress......don't be too hard on yourself......as long as you know you are trying....that's all that matters. Pep talk over !!!
As you get older there are things you notice that weren't there before.
I get my eyebrows waxed because I can't tweeze my eyebrows with my bifocals on....
I try to decide between getting my hair colored or pretending the grays are highlights....
I really do tell you all way too much about myself but then again that is the point of this blog.....isn't it???
Yesterday, I did something new.........I got my face waxed......yes, I said I got my face waxed !!!
I don't like the fuzz on my face and have become self conscious about it. I decided to get it removed. It felt strange......hot wax on your face and then feeling it being pulled off with some kind of strips. When I was done, I was very pleased with how it looked. I think it makes my face look less full (notice I didn't say slimmer....hey, this wasn't plastic surgery or a face lift after all). I will be curious to see how it looks when I put on some make-up on Monday.
Anyway, as I see things I can improve on while I continue to work on my weight and over all health.....I may get brave and try something else.....not really sure what they might be but then again I didn't wake up Saturday saying "Today, I will get my face waxed."
Small changes and easy fixes will help me endure the long road ahead......my weight is not an easy fix but is happening very, very slowly....improved overall health is happening....I can see it and feel it. I climbed a short flight of stairs yesterday without the usual one step stop, another step stop....
Note to self: your are a work in progress......don't be too hard on yourself......as long as you know you are trying....that's all that matters. Pep talk over !!!
My ankles look like GRAPEFRUITS....
Reading the title of this entry should give you a hint as to how my week went at the scales.....uuggghhh !!! I knew when I got up in the morning that I would be up at the scales when I saw my swollen ankles. For the men reading this entry......have you ever heard of WATER RETENTION ????
I was right.....I was up. My solution.....I went to the gym and worked out.
This week will be a hard one......between my birthday and Thanksgiving.....there are a lot of land mines to step around. I will do my best to think it through and make good choices. I have decided if I can get through to the 1st of the year maintaining or still losing would be great. My biggest goal is to NOT GAIN.
One cookie, one slice of pumpkin pie or a small helping of sweet potato souffle won't cause me to gain. I just have to remember to stop at one cookie, one small slice of pie or a small helping of sweet potato souffle. I am not going to be a martyr and walk around with a sign that says "don't feed me". I need to learn once and for all how much to put on my plate. If I decide to have a little extra potato's then I need to pass up on the green bean casserole.
Please do not stare as I put food on my plate. I will have to answer to the scale....not you. If I eat very little that day before the meal or watch what I eat all week and do no use my bonus points until Thursday.....I should do OK.....
Bottom line is I am way ahead of where I was this time last year and for that I am truly THANKFUL!!!!
I was right.....I was up. My solution.....I went to the gym and worked out.
This week will be a hard one......between my birthday and Thanksgiving.....there are a lot of land mines to step around. I will do my best to think it through and make good choices. I have decided if I can get through to the 1st of the year maintaining or still losing would be great. My biggest goal is to NOT GAIN.
One cookie, one slice of pumpkin pie or a small helping of sweet potato souffle won't cause me to gain. I just have to remember to stop at one cookie, one small slice of pie or a small helping of sweet potato souffle. I am not going to be a martyr and walk around with a sign that says "don't feed me". I need to learn once and for all how much to put on my plate. If I decide to have a little extra potato's then I need to pass up on the green bean casserole.
Please do not stare as I put food on my plate. I will have to answer to the scale....not you. If I eat very little that day before the meal or watch what I eat all week and do no use my bonus points until Thursday.....I should do OK.....
Bottom line is I am way ahead of where I was this time last year and for that I am truly THANKFUL!!!!
250 steps gone.....
On Thursday, I started working on my goal of 500 steps on the stepper in 20 minutes. I am breaking this into 2 phases. The first phase is being able to complete the 500 steps. Then I will work on the speed.
Carol, varied my workout so it isn't boring. We did some stairs, then weights (dead lifts and lifting from my sides to shoulder height), squats and back to the steps. By the time we were finished I had done 150 steps. I was waiting for Jenn who was on the track so I decided to do another 50. Then Jenn went to work on machines, so I did another 50. I was pleased to get half way to my goal just one week after setting the goal. Now I will focus on 350-400....maybe by next week. Surprisingly, I didn't feel horrible but the sweat running down my back felt nasty.
Steps, steps, steps.......walk, walk, walk......sweat, sweat,sweat.....
Over and over again......
With each step moving closer to the better....me, me, me
Carol, varied my workout so it isn't boring. We did some stairs, then weights (dead lifts and lifting from my sides to shoulder height), squats and back to the steps. By the time we were finished I had done 150 steps. I was waiting for Jenn who was on the track so I decided to do another 50. Then Jenn went to work on machines, so I did another 50. I was pleased to get half way to my goal just one week after setting the goal. Now I will focus on 350-400....maybe by next week. Surprisingly, I didn't feel horrible but the sweat running down my back felt nasty.
Steps, steps, steps.......walk, walk, walk......sweat, sweat,sweat.....
Over and over again......
With each step moving closer to the better....me, me, me
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
A New Goal.....500 Steps On The Stepper....
On the Biggest Loser, the contestants had to do 500 steps on the stepper in 20 minutes. This is a new goal for me to attempt. I will work at it in 100 step increments. This is a very ambitious goal. The last real defined goal I had was to do 3 miles on the elliptical which I accomplished last June. I still have not gotten to the speed I wanted to do the 3 miles but that doesn't make me a failure. Someday, I will go back and work on that....
In order to feel successful, I need achievable goals but that are also a stretch. The 500 steps is definitely a challenge.
Switching up my goals is like getting a kick start. Changing things up prevents me from getting bored. Boredom can kill my ambition.
Eleven months into my journey....eleven months of trying to put me first....eleven months of learning how many friends and supporters I have......eleven months of working to improve myself.....eleven month of trying to accept the fact how I feel about myself is more important than what others think of me......eleven months of realizing some people will never think I look good unless the scale says what they think is acceptable......
All of this in just eleven short months.....can't wait to see how I feel by this time next year.....the difference from last year has been huge......
I thought I knew it all at 25, then 35, then 45 and now as I turn 55, I realize I have so much to learn but boy am I having fun.....learning about me !!!
In order to feel successful, I need achievable goals but that are also a stretch. The 500 steps is definitely a challenge.
Switching up my goals is like getting a kick start. Changing things up prevents me from getting bored. Boredom can kill my ambition.
Eleven months into my journey....eleven months of trying to put me first....eleven months of learning how many friends and supporters I have......eleven months of working to improve myself.....eleven month of trying to accept the fact how I feel about myself is more important than what others think of me......eleven months of realizing some people will never think I look good unless the scale says what they think is acceptable......
All of this in just eleven short months.....can't wait to see how I feel by this time next year.....the difference from last year has been huge......
I thought I knew it all at 25, then 35, then 45 and now as I turn 55, I realize I have so much to learn but boy am I having fun.....learning about me !!!
Down At The Scales Does Not A Success Make
I was down at the scales this week.....which is good. The realization that I will not reach my 50 pound goal by Dec 31st is a reality I must accept. BUT this is just a minor setback. I will get to the 50 pounds, then 60, then 70 and so on until I get to my personal goal. It is not a number on the charts that equates height and weight. I will know what is right for me.
I am still way too sensitive about how I look. But then again that is 54 (yes, almost 55) years of looking at myself in the mirror and not being thrilled with the reflection. I may never get to the point where I feel totally comfortable. Look you are dealing with a person whose biggest fear is dying in the shower. The thought of some strangers seeing my dead and NAKED body is enough to keep me going for a long time. Or I could just shower in my clothes.....
There are things I really do like about myself but it is still hard to get past the physical part. Plus father time also has added some grey hairs, some wrinkles and gravity is doing its bit too!!
There was a time when I could get out of bed and start my day. Now I reach for my eyeglasses, take a vitamin, something for my knee (when it aches) and use my my maintenance inhaler (so I do not have to use my rescue inhaler).....this is before my feet hit the floor.....uuugghhh...
In the last year one thing has changed,,,,,I wake up with hope. Hope that very slowly I am making progress. The gym, weight watchers and putting me first is part of my life. At times it feels darn good and sometimes I see the old Donna lurking in the corner waiting for me to falter. The old Donna is gradually fading away with each day and each decision I make.
I can't say I will miss her .....in fact I can't wait until she is a distant memory.
I am still way too sensitive about how I look. But then again that is 54 (yes, almost 55) years of looking at myself in the mirror and not being thrilled with the reflection. I may never get to the point where I feel totally comfortable. Look you are dealing with a person whose biggest fear is dying in the shower. The thought of some strangers seeing my dead and NAKED body is enough to keep me going for a long time. Or I could just shower in my clothes.....
There are things I really do like about myself but it is still hard to get past the physical part. Plus father time also has added some grey hairs, some wrinkles and gravity is doing its bit too!!
There was a time when I could get out of bed and start my day. Now I reach for my eyeglasses, take a vitamin, something for my knee (when it aches) and use my my maintenance inhaler (so I do not have to use my rescue inhaler).....this is before my feet hit the floor.....uuugghhh...
In the last year one thing has changed,,,,,I wake up with hope. Hope that very slowly I am making progress. The gym, weight watchers and putting me first is part of my life. At times it feels darn good and sometimes I see the old Donna lurking in the corner waiting for me to falter. The old Donna is gradually fading away with each day and each decision I make.
I can't say I will miss her .....in fact I can't wait until she is a distant memory.
How To Handle A Rough Day At The Office....
Last Thursday was one of those days where not only did I earn every cent I get paid but by the end of the day the company should have owed me money.......
It was a day filled with interviews, meetings, etc, etc.....
My team knows that come hell or high water on Tuesday and Thursday, I leave the office at 5:00 to go to the gym for a 6:00 workout. Well at 5:50, I was still at my desk.
I finally got in the pool at 6:35 after slamming the door to my locker after my daughter asked me why I was late....
I finished the water aerobics at 7:00 and stayed in the pool doing laps until 7:35.
I got home at 8:00.......
What makes this behavior so special that I need to post about it?
As I left the office, I thought to myself....go home ....the hell with the gym. ....
BUT that was what the old Donna would have done. The new Donna reminded me that I would feel better after working out. Also, it would be beneficial for my family to delay my arrival at home. I also knew that I would be mad at myself later on for driving past the gym.
WOW......how I have changed. Going to the gym to work off stress instead of going home in a lousy mood and making the wrong choices.....like eating something wrong.
Maybe Donna is growing up after all......
It was a day filled with interviews, meetings, etc, etc.....
My team knows that come hell or high water on Tuesday and Thursday, I leave the office at 5:00 to go to the gym for a 6:00 workout. Well at 5:50, I was still at my desk.
I finally got in the pool at 6:35 after slamming the door to my locker after my daughter asked me why I was late....
I finished the water aerobics at 7:00 and stayed in the pool doing laps until 7:35.
I got home at 8:00.......
What makes this behavior so special that I need to post about it?
As I left the office, I thought to myself....go home ....the hell with the gym. ....
BUT that was what the old Donna would have done. The new Donna reminded me that I would feel better after working out. Also, it would be beneficial for my family to delay my arrival at home. I also knew that I would be mad at myself later on for driving past the gym.
WOW......how I have changed. Going to the gym to work off stress instead of going home in a lousy mood and making the wrong choices.....like eating something wrong.
Maybe Donna is growing up after all......
Sunday, October 31, 2010
I Have To Walk With Ease To Get To Italy
One of the places I have always wanted to visit is Italy. I remember my parents trip there and how much they loved it. My friend, Kathy, went there a few years ago and said it was a place she would definitely visit again. Another good friend, Gigi, just returned from there last week. All of these people came back with rave reviews and made my desire to travel there even stronger.
Besides the obvious.....saving the money to go......I also need to be able to walk....a lot....for long periods of time. This is something I need to work on. My stamina has improved and as I lose weight I am hoping any aches or pains I feel in my knees and hip will decrease. I have already seen some improvement. I am never going to be a speed walker but I know I need to be able to walk distances in order to enjoy my trip.
Well there you have it,,,,,a new goal for my list. Increased activity + weight loss = walking in Italy. I have started water walking and will increase my time and distance in the pool. Maybe at few laps on the track wouldn't hurt either.
OK here we go....I would get a t-shirt that says "Walking For Italy" but then it might sound like a charity.......how about "Walking To Italy".....no that doesn't work either......how about "Italy or Bust".....nope too many jokes could be made about that....."Italy Here I Come".....that sounds great....
Let me start practicing my Italian now.....until next time.....Arrivederci.....
Besides the obvious.....saving the money to go......I also need to be able to walk....a lot....for long periods of time. This is something I need to work on. My stamina has improved and as I lose weight I am hoping any aches or pains I feel in my knees and hip will decrease. I have already seen some improvement. I am never going to be a speed walker but I know I need to be able to walk distances in order to enjoy my trip.
Well there you have it,,,,,a new goal for my list. Increased activity + weight loss = walking in Italy. I have started water walking and will increase my time and distance in the pool. Maybe at few laps on the track wouldn't hurt either.
OK here we go....I would get a t-shirt that says "Walking For Italy" but then it might sound like a charity.......how about "Walking To Italy".....no that doesn't work either......how about "Italy or Bust".....nope too many jokes could be made about that....."Italy Here I Come".....that sounds great....
Let me start practicing my Italian now.....until next time.....Arrivederci.....
I Don't Have To Be Perfect.....Just Better
I see people who can drop weight so easily or who can eat whatever they want and not have to worry about it. I also have seen people who have had surgery to increase their weight loss. I do not lose weight quickly and quite honestly the thought of surgery terrifies me. I did go to a meeting a few years ago about gastric bypass surgery. I left the meeting knowing this was not an option for me.
That left me with two options.....stay the way I was or take the slower route to weight loss and better health.
Those of you who read this know what my decision was.....gradual weight loss and increased activity. The gym had become as much a part of my life as breathing. I look forward to seeing what Carol has in store for me. I am proud of the fact I can now go through our whole workout without a break. I am learning to look forward not down while I exercise. There is a lot going on in the world when you look around instead of focusing on the ground.
This week I was down at Weight Watchers....not a lot but down......this is what I mean by better not perfect. I thought up some changes for my meals during the week that will change up my lunches. As I said in earlier posts, I don't want to get bored.
The changes I seek are front and center in my mind each and every day....sometimes I want to throw in the towel....but then I walk into the gym and accomplish something new......I pass up something I really would love to eat......I try on a pair of pants and a new top and look in the mirror and like the small improvements I see. Last week, I had to dress up one day for work and actually thought I looked nice.
Looking at my reflection in the mirror and feeling comfortable with what I see will come in time. But at least one day last week I looked in the mirror and didn't frown. The person looking back at me wasn't perfect but she was definitely better......
That left me with two options.....stay the way I was or take the slower route to weight loss and better health.
Those of you who read this know what my decision was.....gradual weight loss and increased activity. The gym had become as much a part of my life as breathing. I look forward to seeing what Carol has in store for me. I am proud of the fact I can now go through our whole workout without a break. I am learning to look forward not down while I exercise. There is a lot going on in the world when you look around instead of focusing on the ground.
This week I was down at Weight Watchers....not a lot but down......this is what I mean by better not perfect. I thought up some changes for my meals during the week that will change up my lunches. As I said in earlier posts, I don't want to get bored.
The changes I seek are front and center in my mind each and every day....sometimes I want to throw in the towel....but then I walk into the gym and accomplish something new......I pass up something I really would love to eat......I try on a pair of pants and a new top and look in the mirror and like the small improvements I see. Last week, I had to dress up one day for work and actually thought I looked nice.
Looking at my reflection in the mirror and feeling comfortable with what I see will come in time. But at least one day last week I looked in the mirror and didn't frown. The person looking back at me wasn't perfect but she was definitely better......
I Am A Caterpillar......
My good friend Mary gave me a magnetic note that I have hanging by my desk that says "Just when the Caterpillar thought the world was over, she turned into a butterfly". When she told me she had something for me, I asked if it would make me cry. She said it might. Once I read those words the waterworks turned on. My mascara and eyeliner are not waterproof !!!!
The words made me think about this year and the transformation I am trying to accomplish. To tell you the truth I have always felt like the Caterpillar. Never the smartest or most attractive. Fulled with lots of insecurities. Wanting to please, wanting to be liked. I know there are some good things about me.....I have a wicked sense of humor, a great laugh, am a good friend, love being a Mom and try to see the glass half full. But I am also realistic, not meant to be a size 8 or class valedictorian. I wish I had tried harder in school to get better grades (too bad they didn't grade socialization....I would have gotten a great grade in that).
The nice part about this phase of my life is I still feel like I have things I want to accomplish. The writing things takes front and center. I know I can get something published and just have to make the right connection. I am becoming healthier each day. I am liking myself more and more each day. Only 10 months into my journey, there is a very long path ahead of me.....I don't mind though.
At the end of the path, I will break free of my cocoon and fly.......
The words made me think about this year and the transformation I am trying to accomplish. To tell you the truth I have always felt like the Caterpillar. Never the smartest or most attractive. Fulled with lots of insecurities. Wanting to please, wanting to be liked. I know there are some good things about me.....I have a wicked sense of humor, a great laugh, am a good friend, love being a Mom and try to see the glass half full. But I am also realistic, not meant to be a size 8 or class valedictorian. I wish I had tried harder in school to get better grades (too bad they didn't grade socialization....I would have gotten a great grade in that).
The nice part about this phase of my life is I still feel like I have things I want to accomplish. The writing things takes front and center. I know I can get something published and just have to make the right connection. I am becoming healthier each day. I am liking myself more and more each day. Only 10 months into my journey, there is a very long path ahead of me.....I don't mind though.
At the end of the path, I will break free of my cocoon and fly.......
Sunday, October 24, 2010
Feeling Cool When Getting Out Of The Pool....
Finally, out of the 90's !!!! I didn't think the hot weather would ever end !!!! Last week when I left the gym after water aerobics, I was chilly. WOO HOO !!! I didn't think that would ever happen since we have had hot weather since last April. I am so lucky to have the indoor pool at the gym. By the time I go to water aerobics class the sun is setting, some days the sky looks fabulous. That is an added treat while exercising.
I hope the pool water gets a little warmer as the weather continues to cool. Even as I leave the gym sweating from my workout, I will need to remember to bring something to keep warm. Coming out all sweaty makes me feel cold. I have become such a southern weenie....LOL....me the girl who used to walk the dog in the winter in flip flops after a February snowstorm in NY.
Look at me....LOL....worried that I might catch a chill after working out at the gym. That is nothing I would have had to think about a year ago.
I love this time of year....a little chill in the air.....sweater weather.....something else to add to my gym bag.....
I hope the pool water gets a little warmer as the weather continues to cool. Even as I leave the gym sweating from my workout, I will need to remember to bring something to keep warm. Coming out all sweaty makes me feel cold. I have become such a southern weenie....LOL....me the girl who used to walk the dog in the winter in flip flops after a February snowstorm in NY.
Look at me....LOL....worried that I might catch a chill after working out at the gym. That is nothing I would have had to think about a year ago.
I love this time of year....a little chill in the air.....sweater weather.....something else to add to my gym bag.....
I Have Dreams Other Than The Little Black Dress...
I have a picture on my desk of a little black dress.....someday, I want to buy myself a basic black dress....nothing frumpy.....and maybe just maybe sleeveless....
While health, exercise and weight loss have been at the front and center of my life this year.....I have also made the time to dream . What kind of dreams you might ask?
I would love to be successful as a writer. What action am I taking toward making this dream come true? I just found an online class I can take dealing with how to write successful articles for magazines. I am going to sign up for a class that starts in January. I think that is a good time of year for the class, the holidays will be over and we hit the after holiday doldrums.
I want to travel. I am going to search for a really good travel magazine that can give me idea's for affordable trips. Maybe if I earn incentives next year, I can earmark some of that money as a vacation fund.
I want to spend more time with friends doing fun things. Whether it be at lunch on a Saturday or a week-end with the girls. This is something I have to put on my MUST DO list. I find the time I spend with my friends makes some of the daily struggles easier to endure.
Maybe I can start to think about visiting family out west that I haven't seen in years. I miss them a lot.
This list is only a partual list of my dreams.....I will share more at a later date. I can't reveal all my secrets.....
You will notice this list of dreams is only about things I want to do. Why you may ask? I am finally at a point in my life where I have to dream for me not anyone else. If you would like to come along with me on some of my adventures/dreams....ask me......and maybe just maybe I will say YES.....
While health, exercise and weight loss have been at the front and center of my life this year.....I have also made the time to dream . What kind of dreams you might ask?
I would love to be successful as a writer. What action am I taking toward making this dream come true? I just found an online class I can take dealing with how to write successful articles for magazines. I am going to sign up for a class that starts in January. I think that is a good time of year for the class, the holidays will be over and we hit the after holiday doldrums.
I want to travel. I am going to search for a really good travel magazine that can give me idea's for affordable trips. Maybe if I earn incentives next year, I can earmark some of that money as a vacation fund.
I want to spend more time with friends doing fun things. Whether it be at lunch on a Saturday or a week-end with the girls. This is something I have to put on my MUST DO list. I find the time I spend with my friends makes some of the daily struggles easier to endure.
Maybe I can start to think about visiting family out west that I haven't seen in years. I miss them a lot.
This list is only a partual list of my dreams.....I will share more at a later date. I can't reveal all my secrets.....
You will notice this list of dreams is only about things I want to do. Why you may ask? I am finally at a point in my life where I have to dream for me not anyone else. If you would like to come along with me on some of my adventures/dreams....ask me......and maybe just maybe I will say YES.....
NSS = Non-Scale Success
At my Weight Watchers meeting the topic was Non-Scale Successes......a good topic since I was up at the scales......
As I go back in my mind over my week I look for where I might have tripped myself up.....could it be the banana's, apples or pineapples which have a lot of sugar. Did I not drink enough water? Did my nightly soda hurt? There is always the CHEESE !!!! I had a vegetable plate for lunch one day and steamed dumplings another....trying to switch things up. Maybe wrong choices.....
At this point in my life I should get it !!! Instead I am still trying to figure things out. I don't know why this shouldn't be crystal clear.....why I still have so many questions and not a lot of definite answers.
Once again it is time to regroup and refocus......I know I can be successful !!! I set goals and timeframes for myself and then am disappointed when I do not meet them. But if I do not set goals then I would flounder. Goals can be changed and adjusted. I hope no one will look at me like I am a failure by moving goals. For example, as we head to the end of October the goal of being down 50 pounds by the end of the year doesn't seem likely. SO WHAT !!!! I will weigh considerably less than what I weighed at the beginning of the year......I have only missed 2 weeks at the gym since last January.....I have experimented with new foods. Well that sounds like a successful year to me and that's all that really matters !!!!!
As I go back in my mind over my week I look for where I might have tripped myself up.....could it be the banana's, apples or pineapples which have a lot of sugar. Did I not drink enough water? Did my nightly soda hurt? There is always the CHEESE !!!! I had a vegetable plate for lunch one day and steamed dumplings another....trying to switch things up. Maybe wrong choices.....
At this point in my life I should get it !!! Instead I am still trying to figure things out. I don't know why this shouldn't be crystal clear.....why I still have so many questions and not a lot of definite answers.
Once again it is time to regroup and refocus......I know I can be successful !!! I set goals and timeframes for myself and then am disappointed when I do not meet them. But if I do not set goals then I would flounder. Goals can be changed and adjusted. I hope no one will look at me like I am a failure by moving goals. For example, as we head to the end of October the goal of being down 50 pounds by the end of the year doesn't seem likely. SO WHAT !!!! I will weigh considerably less than what I weighed at the beginning of the year......I have only missed 2 weeks at the gym since last January.....I have experimented with new foods. Well that sounds like a successful year to me and that's all that really matters !!!!!
Sunday, October 17, 2010
Saturday's are GREAT....
I love Saturday.....freedom to do what I want....when I want.....the gym is not as crowded on Saturday afternoon.....the start of a new week on the scales........kind of a fresh start......each week is a new slate.....on it I write my choices from each day.....by then end of the week I judge the week by the choices I have made along the way......sometimes things beyond my control will affect the way the week turns out (I would rather not elaborate on this right now). I try to make good choices but being human sometimes don't.....that doesn't make me a failure.....it just means I am human......years from now when my weight is where I (yes I said I) want it to be, when my eating habits have changed for good (less sugar, less sodium, healthier choices) and my attempts to exercise will have paid a good profit in my overall health and physical fitness.....this road that I have traveled sometimes alone, sometimes with family and friends will show the benefits of my efforts.....I am reaping the rewards already in the way I feel compared to a year ago.....the time from January til now has flown.....I am already planning where I want to head next year.....I have had to re-adjust my goals but my focus remains the same....it's all about me.....
Waving with Webbed Hands
After being up at the scales last week I had thought about skipping Weight Watchers this week. I had lunch with friends one day and a team lunch for Bosses Day another. I didn't go overboard for either lunch but as I drove to my meeting I once again reviewed my week and wondered if I had made the right choices.
Thank goodness I was down at the scales....
I went to the gym and worked out in the pool. I am using my new webbed gloves in the pool. You can really feel the resistance of the water. During my workout, I saw a Mom with two young sons looking through the glass door at the pool. I raised my hand to wave at the boys, one smiled and waived back.....the other looked at his mother very confused. It appeared he was asking her what was wrong with my hands. The look on his face made me laugh. Then he waived back and they were on their way.
I did about 3/4 of a mile in the pool in laps. According to the water aerobics instructor, the distance you travel in the pool equals more on land. I ended up doing what would have been almost 3 miles of walking/jogging. By the time I exited the pool my arms and legs were feeling it.
Each time I leave the gym, I feel a sense of accomplishment. I am proud that I have stuck with the gym. I think it shows my determination to achieve my goals. Having Jenn to give me that gentle nudge or kick in the butt to get me through the doors on the days when I don't feel like going always is worth it when I leave the gym an hour later. I know in order to get to where I want to go.....the gym is not optional.
Webbed hands, pools, the elliptical, sitting on the Bosu and balancing, steps and stairs.....not what I had anticipated when I thought about joining the gym but now are as much of me as breathing......so like my trainer says remember to breathe.....
Thank goodness I was down at the scales....
I went to the gym and worked out in the pool. I am using my new webbed gloves in the pool. You can really feel the resistance of the water. During my workout, I saw a Mom with two young sons looking through the glass door at the pool. I raised my hand to wave at the boys, one smiled and waived back.....the other looked at his mother very confused. It appeared he was asking her what was wrong with my hands. The look on his face made me laugh. Then he waived back and they were on their way.
I did about 3/4 of a mile in the pool in laps. According to the water aerobics instructor, the distance you travel in the pool equals more on land. I ended up doing what would have been almost 3 miles of walking/jogging. By the time I exited the pool my arms and legs were feeling it.
Each time I leave the gym, I feel a sense of accomplishment. I am proud that I have stuck with the gym. I think it shows my determination to achieve my goals. Having Jenn to give me that gentle nudge or kick in the butt to get me through the doors on the days when I don't feel like going always is worth it when I leave the gym an hour later. I know in order to get to where I want to go.....the gym is not optional.
Webbed hands, pools, the elliptical, sitting on the Bosu and balancing, steps and stairs.....not what I had anticipated when I thought about joining the gym but now are as much of me as breathing......so like my trainer says remember to breathe.....
Another Trip to Earth Fare
A coupon for something free is so hard for me to resist. I had a coupon for a free pineapple at Earth Fare as long as I spent $5. I browsed the aisles for something new to try. I could have spent a fortune on what I wanted to buy but I practiced some restraint. I ended up with some turkey salami (which is surprisingly good) and some left over cheese rinds to put in soup (called cheese soup bones). As I walked up and down the aisles I realized there is a whole other world of food and cooking that I really have not explored. There were foods with little or no sugar, meats that looked delicious and organic was part of most labels. The hard part that is to eat this "healthier" way can be very expensive. Not exactly like shopping at Walmart....
In order to expand my horizons I decided to stop at Earth Fare every few weeks and find something new to try. I am not brave enough to buy things that I wouldn't normally like so I will stick with what I know......no octopus or venison but will buy some chicken, soups, pasta's, breads, etc.....
As I try something new, I will share it with you on this blog. Maybe it will spark someones interest in the things I try and like. I am starting with very basic foods and as I get more comfortable I will branch out.
This is all part of my evolution......weight, exercise, health, cooking.....wow as my world expands I hit twists and turns I hadn't anticipated....this is getting to be fun.......
In order to expand my horizons I decided to stop at Earth Fare every few weeks and find something new to try. I am not brave enough to buy things that I wouldn't normally like so I will stick with what I know......no octopus or venison but will buy some chicken, soups, pasta's, breads, etc.....
As I try something new, I will share it with you on this blog. Maybe it will spark someones interest in the things I try and like. I am starting with very basic foods and as I get more comfortable I will branch out.
This is all part of my evolution......weight, exercise, health, cooking.....wow as my world expands I hit twists and turns I hadn't anticipated....this is getting to be fun.......
Working out in the rain....
Thursday, I went to the gym for a water aerobics class. The sky was very dark and I was worried that class would be cancelled. All that was needed was one clap of thunder or lightening bolt and the class would be off. I was in the pool about 5 minutes and here came the rain!!! It came down in buckets and you could hardy see outside. The rain hitting the roof sounded wonderful and watching it come off the roof like a waterfall made being in the pool so much more fun. It rained for most of the class and made me laugh while keeping up with the class. As I was leaving the class, the rain had stopped and there was a beautiful sky with the sun going down. I had a great work out with the added entertainment provided by mother nature. Some days just end better than others..... :-)
Sunday, October 10, 2010
A Step Toward Thinking I Can Do It.....
I have always loved writing. And on occasion have been told I write well. It is not easy for me to say I do things well. BUT when I comes to writing..........I believe it is one of my gifts. I have two notes hanging on the wall in front of my desk. One says Do What Melts Your Heart and the other says Did You Live A Life of Passion? Writing is one of my passions and does melt my heart. What I need to do is be more dedicated. Write every day....no excuses. Take the advice of others who write (such as reading the books suggested to me including The Write To Write- yes, Wayne I know I have been procrastinating).
Time to take action. I read that Barnes and Noble has a new publishing site. I started to look into it this week. Amazon has one too. OK so now I may have a place to send things I want to have published. I am also looking into other avenues to get my words in print. One of the things the B&N site asks for is information on where to put your profits if something you write is purchased. It got me thinking.....
In order for a dream to come true you have to be proactive. Guess what I did?? I don't want to mix the money I may earn from my writing with the households funds. So I opened up a checking and savings account at a credit union. These accounts will be for the sole purpose of a place to put any profits from my writing. I was very excited to take this step. I feel like I am saying.....I am a writer. Hopefully there will be a time when my new bank account will start to grow.
Like going to the gym is a way to a healthier and happier me which takes care of the physical and mental parts of Donna. That little bank account represents my passions and some of my dreams. It is amazing what a little account with a $25 balance can represent.....to me it is everything........
Time to take action. I read that Barnes and Noble has a new publishing site. I started to look into it this week. Amazon has one too. OK so now I may have a place to send things I want to have published. I am also looking into other avenues to get my words in print. One of the things the B&N site asks for is information on where to put your profits if something you write is purchased. It got me thinking.....
In order for a dream to come true you have to be proactive. Guess what I did?? I don't want to mix the money I may earn from my writing with the households funds. So I opened up a checking and savings account at a credit union. These accounts will be for the sole purpose of a place to put any profits from my writing. I was very excited to take this step. I feel like I am saying.....I am a writer. Hopefully there will be a time when my new bank account will start to grow.
Like going to the gym is a way to a healthier and happier me which takes care of the physical and mental parts of Donna. That little bank account represents my passions and some of my dreams. It is amazing what a little account with a $25 balance can represent.....to me it is everything........
4 Trips to the Gym= Up at the Scales?? UUGGHH
I made it to the gym 4 times this week. I got gloves to wear in the pool to increase the water resistance. Carol gave me a great workout. And what was my reward for all of these efforts?? Up at the scale !!!! My first reaction was to give up. My friends at work gave me words of encouragement.
I went to the gym again and worked out. The old Donna would have throw in the towel. Instead with some encouragement, I decided to work harder.
I think I am working at the weight and exercise thing. I feel like my body is betraying me by not cooperating. The progress is incredibly slow. I may not reach my initial goal by the end of the year but I am still years ahead of where I was last year.
Goals are something to strive for not the be all and end all. Is it horrible if I do not hit my goal by my self imposed initial deadline?? How should I handle this.....quit? NO....I can just move the deadline or goal date out. So if I am not at the 50 pounds down by 12/31....I can give myself more time and not be defeated. I am not a failure....I just need more time. As long as overall I keep pushing in the right direction I believe I will get to my goal weight.......eventually.....
Picture me in the black dress I have always wanted to wear. I can see it now....
Pity party over......
I went to the gym again and worked out. The old Donna would have throw in the towel. Instead with some encouragement, I decided to work harder.
I think I am working at the weight and exercise thing. I feel like my body is betraying me by not cooperating. The progress is incredibly slow. I may not reach my initial goal by the end of the year but I am still years ahead of where I was last year.
Goals are something to strive for not the be all and end all. Is it horrible if I do not hit my goal by my self imposed initial deadline?? How should I handle this.....quit? NO....I can just move the deadline or goal date out. So if I am not at the 50 pounds down by 12/31....I can give myself more time and not be defeated. I am not a failure....I just need more time. As long as overall I keep pushing in the right direction I believe I will get to my goal weight.......eventually.....
Picture me in the black dress I have always wanted to wear. I can see it now....
Pity party over......
Sunday, October 3, 2010
The Small Things....
Going for a ride in a friends convertible,
downloading a TV theme song from I-Tunes,
putting up the Fall/Halloween decorations,
temp's in the 70's,
sharing a laugh at Weight Watchers,
taking a nap,
finding a coupon for something already on sale,
finding a gift for someone that you think they will really like,
a DVR that is almost empty,
an ice cold glass of water,
weather getting cold enough to need a blanket during the night,
resisting the urge to go and buy more books (I already have more than I could read in a year),
passing by stands selling pumpkins and mums,
finding that one perfect delicious apple,
these are just a few of the small things that I came across this week-end....how lucky am I....
downloading a TV theme song from I-Tunes,
putting up the Fall/Halloween decorations,
temp's in the 70's,
sharing a laugh at Weight Watchers,
taking a nap,
finding a coupon for something already on sale,
finding a gift for someone that you think they will really like,
a DVR that is almost empty,
an ice cold glass of water,
weather getting cold enough to need a blanket during the night,
resisting the urge to go and buy more books (I already have more than I could read in a year),
passing by stands selling pumpkins and mums,
finding that one perfect delicious apple,
these are just a few of the small things that I came across this week-end....how lucky am I....
I Am Flexible
Those of you who know me well are saying "Yeah right....Donna flexible....NOT". I do not mean flexible as far as going on a spur of the moment vacation or buying something impulsively....we all know I have to plan everything to the nth degree and think and think and think about something before taking action.
BUT at the gym......Carol says I am flexible. This week I stood with my back against the wall, held weights in each hand, bent to the floor, lifted my arms to the sides of my head and then lift my arms up with the rest of my body until I was flat against the wall again. My abdominal muscles could feel the strain and it was amazing. I also spent time doing squats, standing on one leg and kicking the other leg behind me. Carol was very encouraging and I need that positive reinforcement.
So while I may not take off to Europe on a moments notice.....at least I know there is some place where I can bend and stretch with ease.....
BUT at the gym......Carol says I am flexible. This week I stood with my back against the wall, held weights in each hand, bent to the floor, lifted my arms to the sides of my head and then lift my arms up with the rest of my body until I was flat against the wall again. My abdominal muscles could feel the strain and it was amazing. I also spent time doing squats, standing on one leg and kicking the other leg behind me. Carol was very encouraging and I need that positive reinforcement.
So while I may not take off to Europe on a moments notice.....at least I know there is some place where I can bend and stretch with ease.....
The Time At The Gym Is Paying Off...
I spent 3 hours on Wednesday with co-workers at Harvest Hope Food Bank. It was constant activity. I stood and filled bags of potato's, sat and bagged snacks, and filled shopping carts with groceries for the clients. It was 3 hours of constant movement. And guess what....I was able to keep up !!!! I was sweaty and thirsty by the time we were done but I made it. I don't think I could have done it a year ago.....
My energy and endurance has definitely increased....that's one of the payoffs for going to the gym on a regular basis.
I found out on Friday that I will be able to go to the food bank once a month to help out for 4 hours. I will going on Senior Citizen Wednesday which means we will bring the groceries out to the clients cars. It means more walking and lifting which is fine with me !!!!
One of my big fears is not being able to finish physical tasks. I was worried as I drove to Harvest Hope that I might not be able to go the distance. There was no reason to worry....I made it with energy to spare.....
I am looking forward to going again on October 13th. And I am happy to move another concern for the "can't do" to the "can do" side of the balance sheet.....well what do you know....the positive side of the balance sheet is getting longer and the negatives slowly are erased.....and on I go......
My energy and endurance has definitely increased....that's one of the payoffs for going to the gym on a regular basis.
I found out on Friday that I will be able to go to the food bank once a month to help out for 4 hours. I will going on Senior Citizen Wednesday which means we will bring the groceries out to the clients cars. It means more walking and lifting which is fine with me !!!!
One of my big fears is not being able to finish physical tasks. I was worried as I drove to Harvest Hope that I might not be able to go the distance. There was no reason to worry....I made it with energy to spare.....
I am looking forward to going again on October 13th. And I am happy to move another concern for the "can't do" to the "can do" side of the balance sheet.....well what do you know....the positive side of the balance sheet is getting longer and the negatives slowly are erased.....and on I go......
Sunday, September 26, 2010
Solitude in the pool...
I went to the gym today....my 4th time this week. I decided to water walk. I did 24 lengths of the pool. The water aerobics instructor said walking 1/2 hour in the pool equals 2 miles on dry land and 1/2 hour of jogging in the pool equals 4 miles on dry land.
I was in the pool a few minutes and realized I was alone in the pool. It was wonderful!! I was able to think and it was just me time. It was about 30 minutes before anyone else got in the pool. When was the last time you spent 30 minutes doing something you love in total silence. It was rejuvenating and peaceful. I wish I could do have some time like this everyday.
Usually, when I get to the pool it is peak time....in other words the gym looks like Grand Central Station at rush hour. The pool at that time will have 20-30 people in the water aerobics class. It is fun and very social.
But there is something to be said for being in the pool alone, working out, wrapped up in my thoughts and able to look out the ceiling to floor windows and watch the rest of the world go by.....
Very, very cool........now this is living......
I was in the pool a few minutes and realized I was alone in the pool. It was wonderful!! I was able to think and it was just me time. It was about 30 minutes before anyone else got in the pool. When was the last time you spent 30 minutes doing something you love in total silence. It was rejuvenating and peaceful. I wish I could do have some time like this everyday.
Usually, when I get to the pool it is peak time....in other words the gym looks like Grand Central Station at rush hour. The pool at that time will have 20-30 people in the water aerobics class. It is fun and very social.
But there is something to be said for being in the pool alone, working out, wrapped up in my thoughts and able to look out the ceiling to floor windows and watch the rest of the world go by.....
Very, very cool........now this is living......
New clothes (unmentionables)
When you struggle with weight clothes are ALWAYS an issue. Shopping is a pain.....I cannot remember the last time I was able to shop off the rack in a "regular" store. The problem is once you find clothes that fit comfortably you tend to wear them and wear them. Sometimes they can get pretty worn out and then you have to go shop again. ....uugghh.
Or like now....although I haven't lost a zillion pounds, I have lost enough to need some new tops (I can get by with the pants I have now but another 20 pounds and I will be shopping!!!). I am trying to hold off on whatever I can for now but there are somethings that can't wait.....I need a new bathing suit for the pool, my demin shorts are getting threadbare (and here in SC I can wear them a while longer before putting them away for the year) and there is always the need for new underwear. Yes, I said it underwear...... So for a change I ordered myself some from Just My Size....but instead of the cotton I usually order (I know this is way too much info!!!) I opted for some with a silkier feel. You know what....they feel wonderful!!!!
I am sharing way too much with all of you.....
Silky undies.....don't I deseve them.....nothing anyone will see but they sure make me feel special......something to celebrate.....goodbye cotton......I am feeling just fabulous!!!
Or like now....although I haven't lost a zillion pounds, I have lost enough to need some new tops (I can get by with the pants I have now but another 20 pounds and I will be shopping!!!). I am trying to hold off on whatever I can for now but there are somethings that can't wait.....I need a new bathing suit for the pool, my demin shorts are getting threadbare (and here in SC I can wear them a while longer before putting them away for the year) and there is always the need for new underwear. Yes, I said it underwear...... So for a change I ordered myself some from Just My Size....but instead of the cotton I usually order (I know this is way too much info!!!) I opted for some with a silkier feel. You know what....they feel wonderful!!!!
I am sharing way too much with all of you.....
Silky undies.....don't I deseve them.....nothing anyone will see but they sure make me feel special......something to celebrate.....goodbye cotton......I am feeling just fabulous!!!
Keeping A Journal
One of Weight Watchers big suggestions is to keep a food journal. Everything you eat has a point value. An apple is 1 point and a bagel can be 3 -6 points (depending on if it is a frozen bagel which is a standard size vs. 6 points for a bagel from a bagel shop). As I was told in a meeting, all points are not created equal. That really makes sense. For example, I could eat a salad for 10 points or a chic-fil-a chicken biscuit for 10 points....see the difference. That is why you have to make good well balanced choices. In other words, I cannot eat my daily total in points in Almond Joys and expect to have a good week at the scale. If you bite it you must write it....is the motto heard at some meetings. After a few so-so (which translates to lousy at the scales) weeks, I decided to get back to basics which includes writing down EVERYTHING I eat and drink. That includes the half a slice of cheese I eat when I give Jeter a treat in the morning, it means counting the pretzels I bring to work as a snack, it means the mouthful of grapes (yes even the grapes) and all the other tastes that are easy to ignore. Each morning I would write what I anticipate eating and then during the day I make adjustments if I change what I am going to eat. By the end of the day, I make sure I haven't exceeded the points I am allowed each day ( I am not telling you how many points I can eat each day or you might be able to figure out my current weight and then I would have to kill you !!!) unless I use some of my weekly bonus points. Each week you get 35 bonus points to use as you want. It could be an extra 5 points a day or blow all 35 at a dinner out with friends. I do not use any activity points I earn working out at the gym, I ignore them and hope they will work towards any weight loss for the week.
So last week I journaled and I ended up having a good week at the scale.
It is not hard to journal....it just means discipline. I am now carrying my journal in my work bag and I also carry my points calculator in case I need it.
It is said it takes 30 days for something to become a habit.....9 days of journaling done.....I will let you know how I am doing in 21 days.... ;-)
So last week I journaled and I ended up having a good week at the scale.
It is not hard to journal....it just means discipline. I am now carrying my journal in my work bag and I also carry my points calculator in case I need it.
It is said it takes 30 days for something to become a habit.....9 days of journaling done.....I will let you know how I am doing in 21 days.... ;-)
Sunday, September 19, 2010
Small differences....
The distance between my stomach and the steering wheel.....the clothes that are getting looser....the reflection in the mirror that doesn't look quite as round.....choosing not to eat something....yes, I said choosing not to eat something.....these are the daily changes I am seeing. These small changes keep me going.
Not having to take breaks during my work-outs with Carol......drinking lots of water (although at 3:00 AM I am not loving it).....my knees not hurting as I walk the track.....OK I still have to stop due to the not breathing correctly.......keeping up with the water aerobics class even when I feel like my arms might fall off......all of the things say I am heading in the right direction.
Feeling like I belong at the gym........taking a chance by opening myself up in this blog.......getting great numbers at the doctor's office.......having people ask "Are you losing weight?"......ending the 9th month of the year down in the 30 pound range.....things I can feel good about.
Learning to make healthier food choices.....experimenting with new foods. Planning......choosing.....selecting.......thinking about the things I eat. Tofu Shitakke noodles.....not bad. Cherry tomatoes as a snack. Trying Quinoa and liking it. Trying to cut down on sugar. Water, water and more water. Finally starting to get it.....not all the way there yet but at least on the right road.
Yes, I have learned a lot this year....but I have such a long way to go. Can't focus on the destination.....have to celebrate the small differences !!!! So grab a party hat and some confetti.....I ready to cheer over where I am now and where I am heading......
Not having to take breaks during my work-outs with Carol......drinking lots of water (although at 3:00 AM I am not loving it).....my knees not hurting as I walk the track.....OK I still have to stop due to the not breathing correctly.......keeping up with the water aerobics class even when I feel like my arms might fall off......all of the things say I am heading in the right direction.
Feeling like I belong at the gym........taking a chance by opening myself up in this blog.......getting great numbers at the doctor's office.......having people ask "Are you losing weight?"......ending the 9th month of the year down in the 30 pound range.....things I can feel good about.
Learning to make healthier food choices.....experimenting with new foods. Planning......choosing.....selecting.......thinking about the things I eat. Tofu Shitakke noodles.....not bad. Cherry tomatoes as a snack. Trying Quinoa and liking it. Trying to cut down on sugar. Water, water and more water. Finally starting to get it.....not all the way there yet but at least on the right road.
Yes, I have learned a lot this year....but I have such a long way to go. Can't focus on the destination.....have to celebrate the small differences !!!! So grab a party hat and some confetti.....I ready to cheer over where I am now and where I am heading......
The Pool Is Open.....
WOO HOO !!!! After 2 long weeks the pool at the gym is open again !!!! I really missed it. During the 2 weeks it was closed I did other work outs including walking the track, working out with Carol and finding ways to sweat. I love the pool. The workouts can be tough but I enjoy them tremendously !!!! It is also very social which I enjoy.
I feel like I am ready to gradually get back on the elliptical. My hip is starting to feel better. I just don't want to over do it and end up back where I was a few weeks ago.
I have even toyed with the idea of going to the pool before work......not sure ....it would mean giving up some sleep.
I am going to order another bathing suit since I am really getting a lot of use out of the one I have now. Maybe a size smaller.....hhhhmmmm......that would be nice!! Not a size I am willing to share with all of you but at least it is smaller......a small victory but I will take it.....
I feel like I am ready to gradually get back on the elliptical. My hip is starting to feel better. I just don't want to over do it and end up back where I was a few weeks ago.
I have even toyed with the idea of going to the pool before work......not sure ....it would mean giving up some sleep.
I am going to order another bathing suit since I am really getting a lot of use out of the one I have now. Maybe a size smaller.....hhhhmmmm......that would be nice!! Not a size I am willing to share with all of you but at least it is smaller......a small victory but I will take it.....
When will I learn I cannot do it all by myself
The problem with a good week is that I think I can get through the next week without following all the rules. I stop writing down everything I eat, I guess at what the point values are and act like someone who has not been down this road before. WHEN WILL I FINALLY GET IT ??????
So I go to WW and I am up on the scales. I admit to myself that I didn't watch everything I could have and yes I did eat that damn Panera bagel one morning at work .....I thought I had adjusted my day to accommodate it but I guess I didn't. I didn't cry or beat myself up when I left them meeting. What did I do?? I went to the gym. I worked out for an hour and felt those endorphins popping up. Then I went to Publix for celery, tomato's, low fat string cheese, and some other healthy options. The old Donna would have gone home and eaten something she shouldn't. At least I have learned how to handle the bad weeks......
So back to square one, went to the gym again this morning and planning on a better week. I guess the hard part is it is so easy to fall back into bad habits. But then again I am trying to break a 40 year habit. It was easier to quit smoking (which I did 22 years ago). I did it cold turkey....done finished !! Unfortunately, you can't do that with food......and it is much harder to do it when you have to choose what to eat and what not to.....choices make it difficult.
Well, here is to a better week......just call me the little train that could......I think I can, I think I can....
So I go to WW and I am up on the scales. I admit to myself that I didn't watch everything I could have and yes I did eat that damn Panera bagel one morning at work .....I thought I had adjusted my day to accommodate it but I guess I didn't. I didn't cry or beat myself up when I left them meeting. What did I do?? I went to the gym. I worked out for an hour and felt those endorphins popping up. Then I went to Publix for celery, tomato's, low fat string cheese, and some other healthy options. The old Donna would have gone home and eaten something she shouldn't. At least I have learned how to handle the bad weeks......
So back to square one, went to the gym again this morning and planning on a better week. I guess the hard part is it is so easy to fall back into bad habits. But then again I am trying to break a 40 year habit. It was easier to quit smoking (which I did 22 years ago). I did it cold turkey....done finished !! Unfortunately, you can't do that with food......and it is much harder to do it when you have to choose what to eat and what not to.....choices make it difficult.
Well, here is to a better week......just call me the little train that could......I think I can, I think I can....
Sunday, September 12, 2010
The World Is Going On In Front Of You
While I am working out, I tend to look at the floor. Carol reminds me to look forward or up not down. It helps with breathing, posture/balance (the core), opens my chest and makes my workout more effective.
I think I tend to look down for a number of reasons:
-lack of self confidence/self esteem
-don't have to catch anyone looking at me while I workout (afraid I might see someone staring or laughing at me even though Carol has assured me that no one cares what I am doing)
- it has become a habit to walk that way and not have to make eye contact unless I want to
-if I don't make eye contact I don't have to see the judgements others are passing about me when they look at me
OK Carol, I have heard you message loud and clear.....eyes forward or look upward.....see what is going on in the world....don't miss seeing the good things.....life is passing me by while I am looking down.....although I may struggle with this new behavior, I am hoping that with each passing day it will become a habit and not something I have to think about doing.....in time it will become habit......I don't want to miss watching the parade as it passes by.....in fact I may want to be part of it.......
I think I tend to look down for a number of reasons:
-lack of self confidence/self esteem
-don't have to catch anyone looking at me while I workout (afraid I might see someone staring or laughing at me even though Carol has assured me that no one cares what I am doing)
- it has become a habit to walk that way and not have to make eye contact unless I want to
-if I don't make eye contact I don't have to see the judgements others are passing about me when they look at me
OK Carol, I have heard you message loud and clear.....eyes forward or look upward.....see what is going on in the world....don't miss seeing the good things.....life is passing me by while I am looking down.....although I may struggle with this new behavior, I am hoping that with each passing day it will become a habit and not something I have to think about doing.....in time it will become habit......I don't want to miss watching the parade as it passes by.....in fact I may want to be part of it.......
Tough Choices
Last year, it was my idea to send Bob to see his family for Thanksgiving. It was his choice to spend Christmas with his family.
This year, it is my decision to send Bob to NY for both holidays. The flights have been booked and paid in full. No turning back. I do not want to be stressed out if I do not have "events" planned and want to do what I want. Bob will be happy to spend the time with his family and I will not have someone complaining if we have no "events" planned. Jenn doesn't have any problem with it just being us or maybe hooking up with friends at some point. I know it is months away but gives me some piece of mind to know the decision has been made and it is one less thing to worry about. I also told Bob the 2 trips are his Christmas present so that means I don't have to do any shopping for him. I know he will not shop for us and will not even realize he won't be around for my birthday (so that puts the pressure on the rest of you to make my birthday fabulous......LOL). That is OK....I have gotten used to him forgetting my birthday and only shopping for me if Jenn goes along. I gave up a long time ago on expecting any surprises from him. I am one of those people who hears you say you would like to have something and writes it down as a future potential present....Bob wants me to write a list....what fun is that??
The old Donna would have suffered through the holidays trying to please everyone and in the end most likely it would not have measured up to the Norman Rockwell expectations placed before me. The new (and improved) Donna is trying to deal with the life's challenges as best she can and taking herself into consideration for a change. Will I regret these choices on Thanksgiving or Christmas Eve or Christmas Day?? Maybe? Am I nervous.....definitely. After all the great holidays I experienced when I was young, I somehow feel I have failed. In the New Year, I can take stock and decide if my choice about the holidays was right.
There will be a day sometime soon when Jenn will be spending the holidays with her own family and that is as it should be. I will have to figure out a new plan then and that's OK.....I can only deal with all of this one day at a time.........
This year, it is my decision to send Bob to NY for both holidays. The flights have been booked and paid in full. No turning back. I do not want to be stressed out if I do not have "events" planned and want to do what I want. Bob will be happy to spend the time with his family and I will not have someone complaining if we have no "events" planned. Jenn doesn't have any problem with it just being us or maybe hooking up with friends at some point. I know it is months away but gives me some piece of mind to know the decision has been made and it is one less thing to worry about. I also told Bob the 2 trips are his Christmas present so that means I don't have to do any shopping for him. I know he will not shop for us and will not even realize he won't be around for my birthday (so that puts the pressure on the rest of you to make my birthday fabulous......LOL). That is OK....I have gotten used to him forgetting my birthday and only shopping for me if Jenn goes along. I gave up a long time ago on expecting any surprises from him. I am one of those people who hears you say you would like to have something and writes it down as a future potential present....Bob wants me to write a list....what fun is that??
The old Donna would have suffered through the holidays trying to please everyone and in the end most likely it would not have measured up to the Norman Rockwell expectations placed before me. The new (and improved) Donna is trying to deal with the life's challenges as best she can and taking herself into consideration for a change. Will I regret these choices on Thanksgiving or Christmas Eve or Christmas Day?? Maybe? Am I nervous.....definitely. After all the great holidays I experienced when I was young, I somehow feel I have failed. In the New Year, I can take stock and decide if my choice about the holidays was right.
There will be a day sometime soon when Jenn will be spending the holidays with her own family and that is as it should be. I will have to figure out a new plan then and that's OK.....I can only deal with all of this one day at a time.........
Changing it Up Every Few Weeks
Carol is changing up my workout from week to week. There is always focus on balance, core muscles, breathing and endurance. My goal is to not take a break during the workout. It amazes me how hard it is to balance on one leg at a time. Then add putting my arms out at my side and over my head is something I haven't been able to achieve yet. Carol is confident that I will be able to accomplish this in due time. We talked about how to structure my workouts in the pool when I am not in the water aerobics class, she came up with some great ideas. She also suggested I walk to track and either sing to myself (I always have my IPOD hooked to my arm) or walk with Jenn and talk while we walk. This should put me in a position to have to breathe through my nose vs. my mouth. We also discussed aerobic vs. anaerobic. Sometimes when I walk the track, my breathing gets weird and my heart beats hard. Usually, it is when I am pushing myself. The best cardio workout should be aerobic and I should not get to an anaerobic level. Now that I am aware of the difference I know what to look out for.....
I am learning so much about workouts, eating healthy and getting myself to a better place....there is sssssooooo much I didn't know.....what a huge learning curve I am on.....add to it what I am learning about me.....it's almost as if I didn't know myself at all until I started on this journey last January......it has been scary, fun, exciting, challenging and surprising....can't wait to see what is next!!!!
I am learning so much about workouts, eating healthy and getting myself to a better place....there is sssssooooo much I didn't know.....what a huge learning curve I am on.....add to it what I am learning about me.....it's almost as if I didn't know myself at all until I started on this journey last January......it has been scary, fun, exciting, challenging and surprising....can't wait to see what is next!!!!
A Good Visit to the Doctor
I went for my 6 month check up this week. BP 124/74....cholesterol should be under 200 - mine was 155, bad cholesterol should be under 100 mine has gone from 111 to 97, good cholesterol should be over 50, mine was 47...Dr. said not to worry about that....he said I am doing all the right things....he said sometimes it is harder to get cholesterol in check than it is to lose weight....I have to go back in 6 months and am hoping for even better numbers.....I felt great as I left the office....the Dr. said it is good to see someone trying to do everything right....
Sunday, September 5, 2010
31.6
I went for my weigh-in on Friday. Without saying the exact amount I am down, I am happy to say I am finally over the 30 pound mark.....in fact I am over it by another 1.6 pounds !!! Jenn was waiting in the car for me.....I walked out the door and put both fists in the air like a prize fighter after a knock out punch. I know there will be good and bad weeks ahead but this really excited me !!! It had only been 6 days since I had my last weigh in, so I started to think about what might have been different this week....
I was on vacation this week. Due to the change in routine, I did something I don't always do......I ate when I was hungry....hhhmmm
When I am at work, I tend to eat on a schedule.....breakfast as soon as I get to the office, mid-morning snack, lunch at 1, an afternoon snack and so on....
Also, it was a physical week. Not just at the gym but around the house. Jenn had me on a busy schedule cleaning the house and running errands. There wasn't much down time.....that may have all played into being down at the scale.
At the gym, I didn't take any breaks while working with my trainer, Carol. There was bending, lifting weights, working on balance and climbing on and off the Bosu.
Sometimes it is good to change my daily routine. I am very predictable and do the same things over and over again. The break may have been just what I needed to shake things up.....
I am realistic enough to realize that my next weigh in will not be as good as last weeks but that's OK......I haven't been at this weight in 4 years....I am still shooting for close to 50 pounds down by the end of the year.....my next goal will to weigh what it says on my drivers license....I am not saying what that number is but each day it gets closer and seems more achievable....from there who knows.....the possibilities are endless....
I was on vacation this week. Due to the change in routine, I did something I don't always do......I ate when I was hungry....hhhmmm
When I am at work, I tend to eat on a schedule.....breakfast as soon as I get to the office, mid-morning snack, lunch at 1, an afternoon snack and so on....
Also, it was a physical week. Not just at the gym but around the house. Jenn had me on a busy schedule cleaning the house and running errands. There wasn't much down time.....that may have all played into being down at the scale.
At the gym, I didn't take any breaks while working with my trainer, Carol. There was bending, lifting weights, working on balance and climbing on and off the Bosu.
Sometimes it is good to change my daily routine. I am very predictable and do the same things over and over again. The break may have been just what I needed to shake things up.....
I am realistic enough to realize that my next weigh in will not be as good as last weeks but that's OK......I haven't been at this weight in 4 years....I am still shooting for close to 50 pounds down by the end of the year.....my next goal will to weigh what it says on my drivers license....I am not saying what that number is but each day it gets closer and seems more achievable....from there who knows.....the possibilities are endless....
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
How others see me...
Recently someone told me after reading my blog they didn't realize I was not as confident as they saw me. I am confident about the things I know (like at work) but I don't think I have ever been confident about the way I look. Even when I see pictures of me from years ago, I think to myself "gee you didn't look so bad" but at the time I thought I looked heavy. Now I would give my eye teeth to look like the person in those pictures. They are now only shadows of the person I was.....or could it be foreshadowing of the person I could be again. Get to my high school weight again.....not a chance. Get to a place where I feel good looking at the reflection in the mirror.....definitely!!!!
The self-confidence some people see in me takes a lot of work. I work at it all the time. It is only now that I am able to let you all see inside that I have so many issues. The base of the issues is how I look. If you have never had someone stare at you because of how you look....never in a million years could you understand how I feel. It is only now I am beginning to understand what makes me tick. The journey to figure out "me" has at times been painful but has also been very gratifying. I am learning so much about myself.
I wish I could wake up tomorrow looking 50 pounds lighter. But what would I have learned if that happened and I skipped the rest of the journey? I need to know the pluses of working out, watching what I eat and making healthier choices. Sometime not terribly far off I will wake up and be down those 50 pounds and feel the full effect of the hard work this year.
The pain both physically and mentally are the price paid for years of neglect. The rewards are more than even I thought possible. Writing this blog has been great therapy and yes I have held back on some of my thoughts and feelings. A year ago I couldn't picture sharing so much about what goes on in my head with all of you . You all should be flattered because I trust you all enough to share my blog. Every so often I add another person to my e-mail and give them the opportunity to view this blog. That is how I have started to open up.
The miles I have gone on the elliptical, the challenges I have faced at the gym and the choices I make with each meal and each day shows the progress I am making.....who ever said life begins at 50 might have been thinking of me.....I feel like my new life is just beginning. I am more willing to take risks, I feel like I can do the things I feel passionate about (like writing this blog) and I am starting to live by the words "do what melts your heart" and if at the end of my life someone asks me "did you live a life of passion?".......I will be able to say "at least after 50 I did" and it started in 2010......
The self-confidence some people see in me takes a lot of work. I work at it all the time. It is only now that I am able to let you all see inside that I have so many issues. The base of the issues is how I look. If you have never had someone stare at you because of how you look....never in a million years could you understand how I feel. It is only now I am beginning to understand what makes me tick. The journey to figure out "me" has at times been painful but has also been very gratifying. I am learning so much about myself.
I wish I could wake up tomorrow looking 50 pounds lighter. But what would I have learned if that happened and I skipped the rest of the journey? I need to know the pluses of working out, watching what I eat and making healthier choices. Sometime not terribly far off I will wake up and be down those 50 pounds and feel the full effect of the hard work this year.
The pain both physically and mentally are the price paid for years of neglect. The rewards are more than even I thought possible. Writing this blog has been great therapy and yes I have held back on some of my thoughts and feelings. A year ago I couldn't picture sharing so much about what goes on in my head with all of you . You all should be flattered because I trust you all enough to share my blog. Every so often I add another person to my e-mail and give them the opportunity to view this blog. That is how I have started to open up.
The miles I have gone on the elliptical, the challenges I have faced at the gym and the choices I make with each meal and each day shows the progress I am making.....who ever said life begins at 50 might have been thinking of me.....I feel like my new life is just beginning. I am more willing to take risks, I feel like I can do the things I feel passionate about (like writing this blog) and I am starting to live by the words "do what melts your heart" and if at the end of my life someone asks me "did you live a life of passion?".......I will be able to say "at least after 50 I did" and it started in 2010......
It Figures I Thought I Would Be Down This Week
I drove to my weekly meeting feeling positive I would be down at the scales. In an earlier post, I wrote about how I talk to myself on the way to Weight Watchers about the week I had. I rarely think I will be down for the week ...not self-confident even when I know it was a good week. So what happens....I am up at the weigh-in. I still do not understand how my body works......
I need to write down everything I put in my mouth. I need to get with the eating less sugar thing. I need to push myself harder. I need to .....I need to....I need to..... does the list ever end?
In theory, the "need to's" will never end. They will just change as I change.......
I need to write down everything I put in my mouth. I need to get with the eating less sugar thing. I need to push myself harder. I need to .....I need to....I need to..... does the list ever end?
In theory, the "need to's" will never end. They will just change as I change.......
1 mile walking vs. 3 on the elliptical
Today, I walked 1 mile on the gym on the track. That's not a big deal you might say.... I was as tired after the 1 mile as I have been after 3 miles on the elliptical. I was wondering why? Then I thought about it....when I am on the elliptical, I have handles to hold on to....when I walk it is just me and the track. I turned on my IPOD and off I went. One mile is 11 trips around the track. I went 4 laps and had to stop for a minute, then another 2 laps and stop, then 2 more and stop until I had done the 11 laps. I hated that I had to stop in between and wish I could be like so many others and just keep going. It wasn't my legs that bothered me. It was my breathing that seemed to get out of sync. I tried to focus on the music. I tried to concentrate on breathing through my nose. Why oh why at 54 can I not breathe through my nose? I know for me to keep my mouth shut is difficult but breathing with my mouth closed should not be that hard.
Well, I finished the mile but was soaked in sweat....not a pretty sight. My plan is to get around the track 5 times without stopping, then 6 times and so on until I can do the mile without stopping. I bet I can and will try to do this by the end of the year.
Just think....by the end of the year I can celebrate how far I come during this year weight wise, health wise and my overall well being. I am happy with my progress. It has been hard and there are days when I want to give up but fortunately by the next day I am back to working on me. I am a work in progress..... Compare me to the statue sculpted by Michelangelo....it shows a person coming out of a piece of marble.....that's me...not a work of art....but inside of me is another person trying to get out......not a different person just healthier and more physically fit but still Donna......searching for approval and acceptance......I know, I know....those of you who love me say I am already accepted as I am.....in my heart I know it.....but in my head .....that's a different story....
Well, I finished the mile but was soaked in sweat....not a pretty sight. My plan is to get around the track 5 times without stopping, then 6 times and so on until I can do the mile without stopping. I bet I can and will try to do this by the end of the year.
Just think....by the end of the year I can celebrate how far I come during this year weight wise, health wise and my overall well being. I am happy with my progress. It has been hard and there are days when I want to give up but fortunately by the next day I am back to working on me. I am a work in progress..... Compare me to the statue sculpted by Michelangelo....it shows a person coming out of a piece of marble.....that's me...not a work of art....but inside of me is another person trying to get out......not a different person just healthier and more physically fit but still Donna......searching for approval and acceptance......I know, I know....those of you who love me say I am already accepted as I am.....in my heart I know it.....but in my head .....that's a different story....
Sunday, August 15, 2010
Should I do the Biggest Loser Walk in Myrtle Beach??
The Biggest Loser is having an event in Myrtle Beach in September. It is either a one mile walk or a 5K. It is not a race....it is an event. As I said in an earlier post I would never be a contestant on the Biggest Loser but this event intrigues me. I am sure there will be a huge turnout. Myrtle Beach in September should be beautiful (hopefully not too hot). I can walk a mile. Not sure I could do the 5K.....I can do it on the elliptical but with my hip and knees acting up at times....I wouldn't want to commit and then fail to go the distance. Maybe I could shoot for the 1 mile and if I felt good enough do the 5K. I just don't want to fail !!!!
Since everything starts at 8 AM on Saturday, it would either mean a very early morning drive to Myrtle Beach on the 25th or go down on Friday and spend the night. It will be off season rates. I would try to find a hotel near the "walk" route. I could pick up my packet on Friday instead of in the crowds Saturday. As I get older, I have a hard time being in crowds. I know Saturday there will be a lot of there but I am hoping the excitement of the event will win over my phobia of crowds. For my $25, I would get a t shirt and medal at the finish line. I have never had a medal or trophy for anything I have ever done in my life....how pathetic is that???
Anyway this is not something I would be able to do alone....just participating would be a HUGE step out of my comfort zone. Anyone want to come along and walk with me or cheer me on? Anyone think I am crazy to want to do this? Maybe I think it is crazy.... a one mile walk that will cost me $25 and cause me to get out of bed at dark thirty to drive a few hours to the beach??
I am nervous....I am a chicken.....any why good Lord can't I be a big girl and do this myself.....I will just have to think on it.....
Since everything starts at 8 AM on Saturday, it would either mean a very early morning drive to Myrtle Beach on the 25th or go down on Friday and spend the night. It will be off season rates. I would try to find a hotel near the "walk" route. I could pick up my packet on Friday instead of in the crowds Saturday. As I get older, I have a hard time being in crowds. I know Saturday there will be a lot of there but I am hoping the excitement of the event will win over my phobia of crowds. For my $25, I would get a t shirt and medal at the finish line. I have never had a medal or trophy for anything I have ever done in my life....how pathetic is that???
Anyway this is not something I would be able to do alone....just participating would be a HUGE step out of my comfort zone. Anyone want to come along and walk with me or cheer me on? Anyone think I am crazy to want to do this? Maybe I think it is crazy.... a one mile walk that will cost me $25 and cause me to get out of bed at dark thirty to drive a few hours to the beach??
I am nervous....I am a chicken.....any why good Lord can't I be a big girl and do this myself.....I will just have to think on it.....
I am starting to hate my t shirts
I am not ready to clothes shop yet !! Some of my clothes are definitely getting big but knowing I am going to continue to lose weight and inches, I would prefer not to have clothes in a variety of sizes. I did pull a blouse out of the back of my closet that got a lot of compliments at work. Maybe it has to do with the fact I usually wear solid colors and this was a print. Maybe it was because it was more form fitting. Or how about it showed off some of efforts from the last 7 months....what a wild thought !!!
Anyway, 2 years ago I bought several tie-dyed t shirts that I loved. I bought several in different colors and in 2 different sizes. My biggest problem now is that even though they now run though the dryer....they swim on me. When I wear them I spend most of my time adjusting them because they slide off my shoulders and down in front. It gets annoying but not enough to reach into my wallet and purchase some new ones. Maybe when I am down another 20 pounds I will be ready to shop. I might even be able to shop in my own closet. I am sure there are some smaller clothes lurking in the dark corners, forgotten and not worn in a long time. OK smaller sizes....come out, come out where ever you are....or I am coming in there after you.....
Anyway, 2 years ago I bought several tie-dyed t shirts that I loved. I bought several in different colors and in 2 different sizes. My biggest problem now is that even though they now run though the dryer....they swim on me. When I wear them I spend most of my time adjusting them because they slide off my shoulders and down in front. It gets annoying but not enough to reach into my wallet and purchase some new ones. Maybe when I am down another 20 pounds I will be ready to shop. I might even be able to shop in my own closet. I am sure there are some smaller clothes lurking in the dark corners, forgotten and not worn in a long time. OK smaller sizes....come out, come out where ever you are....or I am coming in there after you.....
Smelling The Roses....
I think sometimes we get so wrapped up in the destination, we forget to enjoy the journey. I know it will be a long time before I get to my destination or goal, so I better enjoy the journey.....
Each night I write a list of 5 good things about the day. The list could include a thunderstorm, a good laugh, pineapple cooked on a grill... It puts the day in perspective for me. I need to focus on other things in my life besides my weight loss efforts and work outs at the gym. While dieting and exercise are priorities for me, I don't want to miss some of the other important things.
Like what you might ask? A spontaneous ride in a convertible with someone who sometimes knows better what I need than I do myself (thanks Kathy!!). A late night talk with my daughter that can go from very serious to very stupid (and terribly funny) in a matter of minutes. How about a great sunset? Or an afternoon nap? Deciding what color nail polish to use for the next pedicure. Coming in to work in the morning and finding a cup of coffee waiting for me (thanks Mary!!). None of these are the big things that I have on my bucket list (that will have to be another post). These are the small moments that can get overlooked.
While I have been been very focused on getting to a healthier place, it can get overwhelming at times. I need to keep my weight loss and improved physical condition as my main focus but thinking about smelling the roses might make the journey more enjoyable.
I could let the fact that I was up a little this week at Weight Watchers consume me but to what good? I need to think of how well I have done and what I would have been like if I hadn't walked through the doors to Weight Watchers last January. I should pat myself on the back for being able to climb on the step class stair while lifting weights in each arm.
I need to celebrate my small victories not minimize them.........
I am not putting on rose colored glasses and I don't think anyone will ever compare me with Pollyanna but that's OK. I just think if I recognize the little changes then it is a win-win for me.
So here is the plan....focus on the healthy eating and lifestyle changes.....try to see and smell the roses....and know that each day I am changing for the better inside and out ......I am worth it and it is alright to just think about me 1st for a change.....um OK I have put it in writing now I have to put it into practice.....
Each night I write a list of 5 good things about the day. The list could include a thunderstorm, a good laugh, pineapple cooked on a grill... It puts the day in perspective for me. I need to focus on other things in my life besides my weight loss efforts and work outs at the gym. While dieting and exercise are priorities for me, I don't want to miss some of the other important things.
Like what you might ask? A spontaneous ride in a convertible with someone who sometimes knows better what I need than I do myself (thanks Kathy!!). A late night talk with my daughter that can go from very serious to very stupid (and terribly funny) in a matter of minutes. How about a great sunset? Or an afternoon nap? Deciding what color nail polish to use for the next pedicure. Coming in to work in the morning and finding a cup of coffee waiting for me (thanks Mary!!). None of these are the big things that I have on my bucket list (that will have to be another post). These are the small moments that can get overlooked.
While I have been been very focused on getting to a healthier place, it can get overwhelming at times. I need to keep my weight loss and improved physical condition as my main focus but thinking about smelling the roses might make the journey more enjoyable.
I could let the fact that I was up a little this week at Weight Watchers consume me but to what good? I need to think of how well I have done and what I would have been like if I hadn't walked through the doors to Weight Watchers last January. I should pat myself on the back for being able to climb on the step class stair while lifting weights in each arm.
I need to celebrate my small victories not minimize them.........
I am not putting on rose colored glasses and I don't think anyone will ever compare me with Pollyanna but that's OK. I just think if I recognize the little changes then it is a win-win for me.
So here is the plan....focus on the healthy eating and lifestyle changes.....try to see and smell the roses....and know that each day I am changing for the better inside and out ......I am worth it and it is alright to just think about me 1st for a change.....um OK I have put it in writing now I have to put it into practice.....
Sunday, August 8, 2010
I know it is not always about the numbers...
I know my journey is not just about the numbers BUT it does feel good to be down again at Weight Watchers. On my way to the meeting each Saturday, I think about my week. Was I as good as I could have been? Did I blow it any where along the way? Did I make the most of my workouts? Did I burn enough calories? Did I make wrong choices when I was tired? Good thing no one can hear me negotiating with myself.....being the positive person I am....I never think I will be down at the scales. Then I start to think....what is the worst I could be up....uugghh!! Why can't I just think.....Donna, you have had a good week...wonder how much you lost?
Anyway , I went to the meeting and was very pleased to be down. We are nearing the 30 pound mark !!! 120 sticks of butter !!! I may still reach my 50 pound goal by the end of the year. Then I can set my new goal !!
I made Weight Watchers lasagna for dinner. I also made WW macaroni salad and a salad with chic peas, artichoke hearts, arugula and wine vinegar and olive oil. The 2 salads are for lunch this week. I am looking forward to having them as a change of pace. I tend to eat the same things over and over again because they are easy then I get bored. By making some things to switch it up, I am excited about eating new foods.
So let's look at the pluses....weight heading down, endurance increasing, trying new foods and doing things at the gym that surprise me. The down side....hhhhhmmmm.....how about.....nah.....then there's......uummm.....well what do you know....the negatives are starting to fade away....along with my weight.......this could be scary......who knows how good I will feel this time next year or the year after.......WOW!!!!!!
Anyway , I went to the meeting and was very pleased to be down. We are nearing the 30 pound mark !!! 120 sticks of butter !!! I may still reach my 50 pound goal by the end of the year. Then I can set my new goal !!
I made Weight Watchers lasagna for dinner. I also made WW macaroni salad and a salad with chic peas, artichoke hearts, arugula and wine vinegar and olive oil. The 2 salads are for lunch this week. I am looking forward to having them as a change of pace. I tend to eat the same things over and over again because they are easy then I get bored. By making some things to switch it up, I am excited about eating new foods.
So let's look at the pluses....weight heading down, endurance increasing, trying new foods and doing things at the gym that surprise me. The down side....hhhhhmmmm.....how about.....nah.....then there's......uummm.....well what do you know....the negatives are starting to fade away....along with my weight.......this could be scary......who knows how good I will feel this time next year or the year after.......WOW!!!!!!
Saturday, August 7, 2010
Why I won't ever be the Biggest Loser
I have had more than one person ask me if I ever thought of trying out for the Biggest Loser. I have very mixed feelings about that question.
It makes me feel so bad to know people think I am big enough to be a contestant....
I know what I look like. I know I am a work in progress.
Some people have said that they thought I should go on because they feel with my personality and sense of humor America would want me to win.
Reasons I wouldn't consider being a participant.....I can't leave my job or family for months at a time. 8 hours a day in the gym scares me to death. There is no way I would ever get up on a scale for the whole world to see how much I weigh. My actual weight is no one's business but mine. I do not see public humiliation as a way to feel better about myself.
I admire the contestants and what they accomplish in a matter or months. I am on the same journey but making it more personal. I have learned so much about myself this year. I workout on a regular basis and definitely eat healthier now. I weigh in once a week.
It may take me years to get to the place I AM COMFORTABLE....that is right...where I am comfortable. I cannot let others decide what is the right weight for me. I will know it when I get there. I do not need others making the decision for me. There are those that think unless I am thin by their view, I am a failure. I say I will know when the first part of my journey is done and the next phase ...maintenance will begin.
I am learning I do not need others approval for where I am heading. It is great to have support from those who care about me. Just getting to a point where I am not concerned about the approval of others is a huge step.
Each day I take steps to improve my health. It is a daily and sometimes an hourly struggle. Most days I feel strong....stronger than I have before. I don't care if people think I should be able to finish this journey in months not years. This is my decision not theirs....so unless you have something real and sincere to say I wish you wouldn't say anything....
There are days when I struggle and your "suggestions" make me feel like you are saying I am a failure. I know the difference between sincerity and hollow words....
I have to do all of this in my time on my terms...not yours.
It makes me feel so bad to know people think I am big enough to be a contestant....
I know what I look like. I know I am a work in progress.
Some people have said that they thought I should go on because they feel with my personality and sense of humor America would want me to win.
Reasons I wouldn't consider being a participant.....I can't leave my job or family for months at a time. 8 hours a day in the gym scares me to death. There is no way I would ever get up on a scale for the whole world to see how much I weigh. My actual weight is no one's business but mine. I do not see public humiliation as a way to feel better about myself.
I admire the contestants and what they accomplish in a matter or months. I am on the same journey but making it more personal. I have learned so much about myself this year. I workout on a regular basis and definitely eat healthier now. I weigh in once a week.
It may take me years to get to the place I AM COMFORTABLE....that is right...where I am comfortable. I cannot let others decide what is the right weight for me. I will know it when I get there. I do not need others making the decision for me. There are those that think unless I am thin by their view, I am a failure. I say I will know when the first part of my journey is done and the next phase ...maintenance will begin.
I am learning I do not need others approval for where I am heading. It is great to have support from those who care about me. Just getting to a point where I am not concerned about the approval of others is a huge step.
Each day I take steps to improve my health. It is a daily and sometimes an hourly struggle. Most days I feel strong....stronger than I have before. I don't care if people think I should be able to finish this journey in months not years. This is my decision not theirs....so unless you have something real and sincere to say I wish you wouldn't say anything....
There are days when I struggle and your "suggestions" make me feel like you are saying I am a failure. I know the difference between sincerity and hollow words....
I have to do all of this in my time on my terms...not yours.
Sunday, August 1, 2010
New challenges...
I am looking for variety in both eating and workouts.
The workout varieties are easy....Carol takes care of those. Her big focus now is flexibility and balance. Carol says my flexibility is not a problem. She is surprised at how flexible I am. Working on the core muscles is important. We worked a lot with me standing on one foot and holding my arms out to the sides, not an easy feat for me. Then get ready for this........she had me stand on the bosu and balance with my arms out. This was very scary for me (see earlier post where I thought the Pilate's ball would explode if I sat on it). Standing on it wobbling and shaking to get my balance was a struggle. When I finally did it, Carol let out a yell and applauded. Even I started to smile and laugh. It felt so good to be able to do it. It is these little steps I have been making since January that I am proud of. Yes, I have had some setbacks along the way but I haven't really thought too often about giving up.
A few weeks ago, a girl at the gym stopped and talked to Jenn. This is a girl I see at the gym on a regular basis. We usually say hello. She told Jenn that I was courageous and made her want to come to the gym more often. Jenn wasn't sure whether or not to tell me. She wasn't sure if she would be hurting my feelings or not. I had mixed emotions...did I look so bad that it was courageous that I go to the gym or was it the fact that I went to the gym and was courageous to be working out to improve my health....I chose to go with the latter. While I was working out with Carol, I saw the girl (she was working with her trainer) and I called her over. I thanked her for her kind words, she smiled and said "I see you here several times a week and when I don't feel like coming....I think of you and that you keep coming." Carol said I don't realize that I may be inspiring others to work out but they just don't come up and say anything to me....wow me inspiring someone....never saw that coming.
I am looking further into cutting out as much sugar as possible from my diet. This is a work in progress. I am definitely drinking lots of water. I am reading labels and continuing to try to make good choices. I was down at Weight Watchers this week and more than made up for the pound I gained last week. In fact, I am now at the lowest weight I have been at in several years. Pretty scary huh....I am heading in the right direction just slowly.
I continue to learn about exercise, healthy eating choices and me....I am not the same person who walked into the gym and Weight Watchers last January....each baby step is a step toward confidence, good health, and a different me....not that the old me was bad but this is the new improved Donna....a Donna whose confidence may help me to make this part of my life go down a new path... freeing my self from the things and people that have bogged me down before....who knows....the possibilities are endless.....
The workout varieties are easy....Carol takes care of those. Her big focus now is flexibility and balance. Carol says my flexibility is not a problem. She is surprised at how flexible I am. Working on the core muscles is important. We worked a lot with me standing on one foot and holding my arms out to the sides, not an easy feat for me. Then get ready for this........she had me stand on the bosu and balance with my arms out. This was very scary for me (see earlier post where I thought the Pilate's ball would explode if I sat on it). Standing on it wobbling and shaking to get my balance was a struggle. When I finally did it, Carol let out a yell and applauded. Even I started to smile and laugh. It felt so good to be able to do it. It is these little steps I have been making since January that I am proud of. Yes, I have had some setbacks along the way but I haven't really thought too often about giving up.
A few weeks ago, a girl at the gym stopped and talked to Jenn. This is a girl I see at the gym on a regular basis. We usually say hello. She told Jenn that I was courageous and made her want to come to the gym more often. Jenn wasn't sure whether or not to tell me. She wasn't sure if she would be hurting my feelings or not. I had mixed emotions...did I look so bad that it was courageous that I go to the gym or was it the fact that I went to the gym and was courageous to be working out to improve my health....I chose to go with the latter. While I was working out with Carol, I saw the girl (she was working with her trainer) and I called her over. I thanked her for her kind words, she smiled and said "I see you here several times a week and when I don't feel like coming....I think of you and that you keep coming." Carol said I don't realize that I may be inspiring others to work out but they just don't come up and say anything to me....wow me inspiring someone....never saw that coming.
I am looking further into cutting out as much sugar as possible from my diet. This is a work in progress. I am definitely drinking lots of water. I am reading labels and continuing to try to make good choices. I was down at Weight Watchers this week and more than made up for the pound I gained last week. In fact, I am now at the lowest weight I have been at in several years. Pretty scary huh....I am heading in the right direction just slowly.
I continue to learn about exercise, healthy eating choices and me....I am not the same person who walked into the gym and Weight Watchers last January....each baby step is a step toward confidence, good health, and a different me....not that the old me was bad but this is the new improved Donna....a Donna whose confidence may help me to make this part of my life go down a new path... freeing my self from the things and people that have bogged me down before....who knows....the possibilities are endless.....
Vacation is over....
Upon returning home it was back to the gym and and concentrating on healthy eating. I went to Weight Watchers and only gained one pound on vacation....not too bad. Maybe it was the Lintzer Tart I treated myself to....
My right hip has been acting up so doing the elliptical was somewhat painful. In one day at work I sat in 5 different chairs trying to find one that was comfortable. I am sure it was amusing seeing me play musical chairs all by myself. I did work out in the pool. Carol and I worked on stretches....something I haven't been doing. I am sure I was quite a sight while Carol helped me with stretching. At one point I had to lay on the bench while Carol lifted my right leg and bent it toward my shoulder...moving it a few degrees at a time. Lord help the person who had to watch this....I am sure the view of me on that bench was not pretty but I have to admit my hip did feel better. She has suggested I stay off the elliptical for a few weeks. She thinks I am leaning more on my right side then my left and that may be part of the problem. I of course think it is my sciatica, or arthritis, or due to one leg being shorter than the other (these are my diagnosis not a doctor's). Why should it be anything simple?
It did feel good to get back in my normal routine. Vacation is fun but that is not the real world. Reality check....time to get back to the real world where I am focused on losing weight and getting healthy.
My right hip has been acting up so doing the elliptical was somewhat painful. In one day at work I sat in 5 different chairs trying to find one that was comfortable. I am sure it was amusing seeing me play musical chairs all by myself. I did work out in the pool. Carol and I worked on stretches....something I haven't been doing. I am sure I was quite a sight while Carol helped me with stretching. At one point I had to lay on the bench while Carol lifted my right leg and bent it toward my shoulder...moving it a few degrees at a time. Lord help the person who had to watch this....I am sure the view of me on that bench was not pretty but I have to admit my hip did feel better. She has suggested I stay off the elliptical for a few weeks. She thinks I am leaning more on my right side then my left and that may be part of the problem. I of course think it is my sciatica, or arthritis, or due to one leg being shorter than the other (these are my diagnosis not a doctor's). Why should it be anything simple?
It did feel good to get back in my normal routine. Vacation is fun but that is not the real world. Reality check....time to get back to the real world where I am focused on losing weight and getting healthy.
Can you go home again?
Thomas Wolfe said "You can't go home again." He might be right. A few weeks ago Jenn and I headed to NY to see my Mom. It was great to spend time with her. I also got to see a lot of other family. We spent time enjoying my brother's waterfall in his backyard, were awed at how much my nephews had grown and enjoyed the familiarity of being back in the place we lived in for so many years. The funny thing was after being gone 12 years, I felt like a visitor. There were short cuts that I used to know like the back of my hand...no more. It was the first time I felt like I didn't belong there anymore...strange. A nice place to visit but not the place I live in anymore....
At my brothers house, we talked alot about Clean Eating, had some really good and healthy meals and really enjoyed spending time in their backyard which is really a sight to behold.
My nephew introduced me to Skype...this was amazing.
Jenn and I took Mom food shopping, shoe shopping and errand running. Spending time with her after the year she has had made our time together more special.
We did manage to hit Munno's for dill pickles, Sorrento's for garlic rolls, King Kone for ice cream, Rockland Bakery for rolls and baked goods. At Shoprite it was Reinzi's Clam Sauce for us and Drakes Cakes (the northern version of Little Debbie Snack Cakes)for the office.
Things that have changed about me....I forgot I had to pack my own groceries, I hated that people looked at my SC license plate and assumed I was stupid, used M'am and Sir with ease but got some funny looks. Maybe I have mellowed or become southerized. I thought did I used to be so much in a rush? I guess I have chnaged...
All in all it was a great trip. Jenn is a great traveling companion. But I knew when I drove down Fountain Lake Road....I was home.
At my brothers house, we talked alot about Clean Eating, had some really good and healthy meals and really enjoyed spending time in their backyard which is really a sight to behold.
My nephew introduced me to Skype...this was amazing.
Jenn and I took Mom food shopping, shoe shopping and errand running. Spending time with her after the year she has had made our time together more special.
We did manage to hit Munno's for dill pickles, Sorrento's for garlic rolls, King Kone for ice cream, Rockland Bakery for rolls and baked goods. At Shoprite it was Reinzi's Clam Sauce for us and Drakes Cakes (the northern version of Little Debbie Snack Cakes)for the office.
Things that have changed about me....I forgot I had to pack my own groceries, I hated that people looked at my SC license plate and assumed I was stupid, used M'am and Sir with ease but got some funny looks. Maybe I have mellowed or become southerized. I thought did I used to be so much in a rush? I guess I have chnaged...
All in all it was a great trip. Jenn is a great traveling companion. But I knew when I drove down Fountain Lake Road....I was home.
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