My Dad dies when I was 29. Jenn was just 2 1/2 months old. I have already outlived him. There is not a day that goes by that I do not think of him. I still miss him.....a lot. I always thought of myself as my father's daughter.
And I was sure that I was not one of my Mom's favorites.
Why did I think that? I don't know.....the other's seemed to connect with her more than I did. I connected with my Dad.
So when Dad died I struggled.
As an adult I now had to build a relationship with my Mom. Not that we were enemies.....we were just different. As a wife.....my Mom knocked it out of the park. As a wife, I was no where near as good as my Mom. But we did find a way to connect.....through Jenn. I was able to learn a lot from my Mom about being a Mom. She rocks as a grandmother. With 11 grandchildren....she found a way to love them each for their special gifts. Jenn could always call her Nannie to celebrate anything....from a 100 on a math test to finding a dress for the prom. Mom was there for all her big events......christening.....kindergarten celebration....high school graduation...... graduation with her Master's Degree.
For all of those events.....there was Mom front and center. I didn't know how Mom would make it without Dad. He had been the center of her universe. She did make it......there may have been some bumps along the road but she did find a world without Dad and it was a world in which she traveled and worked and made her grandchildren her focus. Now she has been blessed with greatgrandchildren.
As the years passed, we started to talk every day or every other day. Sometime there wasn't much to say other times we would chat for an hour. Each night when I leave work I call her to catch up. I consider it our time. If my Dad had lived longer.....I may never have gotten to know my Mom.
She has been battling cancer for the last 2 years......she has gone through chemo, nausea, loss of appetite and all that goes with that dreaded disease. She has fought a battle that my Dad would have been proud of .....not one to complain......she did what she needed to do. Lately, she has been struggling with health issues......as I write this she is in the hospital.....the second round of chemo has taken it's toll on her.......I pray that she will recover enough to come home and regain some of her independence.
I am grateful that we did get to spend last Christmas and New Year's Day together. I am planning to visit her in February. It will be good to spend sometime with her.
Her illness has been an emotional roller coaster for me. Being so far away has made it difficult. Some days I can talk about Mom and I am fine......other days or moments I am reduced to tears.
I am grateful that as an adult I have gotten to know her. Yes, there are times we make each other crazy but she has also been there for me when I needed someone to talk to......I never have had any doubt that she has always had my back....just like a Mom should....
Saturday, December 31, 2011
How Have I Done? Can I Succeed?
As I look back on the last 2 years when this journey began I am no where near where I thought or hoped I would be. I guess I was expecting bigger things of myself then came to pass. My confidence has grown and so has my self-esteem....not as much as it needs to but that's OK. Yes, I am down a size or two and some serious pounds have come off but not what I had dreamed would at the start. I have learned to eat when I am hungry.....what a novel idea. I have experimented with different foods. I pack lunches that are somewhat diversified. Hummus and crackers or pretzels, flatbread and weight watchers cream cheese for breakfast. I am going to start making soups to bring in my thermos for lunch.
Does the fact that I am not at my dream size make me a failure......two years ago I would have said yes.....now I can say no.....
I have learned it not just about size........
It is about so many other things......learning to face my fears, celebrate my accomplishments, allow myself to fall and get back up, really getting to know me for the first time in my life.....
I may not get to that dream size or run in a marathon or play a piano or climb a mountain or bungee jump off a bridge......but the list of things I might do has grown tremendously in the last few years.....I have flown alone, I have walked on to the gym floor and worked out without being self conscious some of the time, I am starting to make decisions that are good for ME......ME ME ME......it is finally about me......
Am I a failure? NO........failure is not an option (I love that line from Apollo 13)....I am a work in progress.....hang in there with me.....walk along side of me.....help me to keep my focus......I am only just beginning to see what I can be......
Does the fact that I am not at my dream size make me a failure......two years ago I would have said yes.....now I can say no.....
I have learned it not just about size........
It is about so many other things......learning to face my fears, celebrate my accomplishments, allow myself to fall and get back up, really getting to know me for the first time in my life.....
I may not get to that dream size or run in a marathon or play a piano or climb a mountain or bungee jump off a bridge......but the list of things I might do has grown tremendously in the last few years.....I have flown alone, I have walked on to the gym floor and worked out without being self conscious some of the time, I am starting to make decisions that are good for ME......ME ME ME......it is finally about me......
Am I a failure? NO........failure is not an option (I love that line from Apollo 13)....I am a work in progress.....hang in there with me.....walk along side of me.....help me to keep my focus......I am only just beginning to see what I can be......
Cellphone Behavior
Someone needs to explain to me what kind of conversation is so important that it needs to take place while you are in a bathroom stall. I just don't get it!!!! I think it is rude, selfish, uncouth and just all around ridiculous. If you have an emergency call go in the hallway and talk but why in God's name would someone want to talk while .....you know.....using the facilities. Plus, it is so inconsiderate to others who are in there. Yesterday, I went to the ladies room and yes there was someone talking up a storm to I have no idea who. But you could tell from the part of the conversation I had no choice but to hear that this was not about brain surgery but was pure gossip. Obviously the person talking in the stall had no qualms about what "background noises" might be going on while she chatted but it did offend me. There was part of me that wanted to start making grotesque sounds or make sounds like I was going to barf to see if that would get the person off the phone. I also took a longer than usual time washing my hands hoping I could see who was on the phone but they never left the stall. Maybe that was better......I would probably have made some remake about their lack of manners or how rude they were.....
Someone please explain to me what would possess someone to think talking on the phone in the bathroom is OK......because I sure don't get it......
Someone please explain to me what would possess someone to think talking on the phone in the bathroom is OK......because I sure don't get it......
The 12 Hopes of 2012
Now that I have listed the best of 2011.....let's move on to 2012. Here are my hopes for the New Year....
1. Good health, happiness and prosperity to all my family and friends.
OK now the rest are about me:
2. Write more. I think I am good at it so I need to spend more time doing it.
3. Try to get published. Not sure exactly how to tackle this but will start to investigate how.
4. Take a real vacation. Barbados maybe??
5. Spend at least one hour a week reading. Just for enjoyment.....
6. Spend more time with family and friends.....laughter is a must!!!!
7. Continue to focus on me.....the gym, healthy eating and improved health.
8. Stop stressing over what I can't control......this is going to be a biggie for me the control freak......this will be a work in progress. I cannot guarantee overnight success or even a huge change but even a slight improvement would be good.
9. How about more me time......after all it is all about me!!!
10. I need to treat myself to things I want.....nothing too crazy but stop saying maybe next year and start doing it now.
11. I need to realize that the world will not stop if I take a day off to play or an afternoon off for some me time.
12. I hope that when the year ends I am a few pounds lighter (not going to pressure myself into a prediction of how much), a size or two smaller, found some healthy eating options, replaced some fat with muscle, burned some calories through laughter, hugged when I could, walked more, napped when I felt like it, and found the me that I want to be..... not the me that anyone else wants.....
WOW!!!! That is an impressive list of challenges......I think I am up to the task......stay tuned as I move through the year......I will keep you posted. Let's see when I sit down at the end of 2012 how well I did.....not that it will be a failure if I don't accomplish all I have listed......I will get an "A" for effort and that matters too.......
Goodbye 2011 and Hello 2012......Happy New Year!!!!!
1. Good health, happiness and prosperity to all my family and friends.
OK now the rest are about me:
2. Write more. I think I am good at it so I need to spend more time doing it.
3. Try to get published. Not sure exactly how to tackle this but will start to investigate how.
4. Take a real vacation. Barbados maybe??
5. Spend at least one hour a week reading. Just for enjoyment.....
6. Spend more time with family and friends.....laughter is a must!!!!
7. Continue to focus on me.....the gym, healthy eating and improved health.
8. Stop stressing over what I can't control......this is going to be a biggie for me the control freak......this will be a work in progress. I cannot guarantee overnight success or even a huge change but even a slight improvement would be good.
9. How about more me time......after all it is all about me!!!
10. I need to treat myself to things I want.....nothing too crazy but stop saying maybe next year and start doing it now.
11. I need to realize that the world will not stop if I take a day off to play or an afternoon off for some me time.
12. I hope that when the year ends I am a few pounds lighter (not going to pressure myself into a prediction of how much), a size or two smaller, found some healthy eating options, replaced some fat with muscle, burned some calories through laughter, hugged when I could, walked more, napped when I felt like it, and found the me that I want to be..... not the me that anyone else wants.....
WOW!!!! That is an impressive list of challenges......I think I am up to the task......stay tuned as I move through the year......I will keep you posted. Let's see when I sit down at the end of 2012 how well I did.....not that it will be a failure if I don't accomplish all I have listed......I will get an "A" for effort and that matters too.......
Goodbye 2011 and Hello 2012......Happy New Year!!!!!
The Best 11 of 2011
With only a few hours left to 2011 this seems like a good time to do a year in review. Most magazines, television stations, etc do a best of the year so why shouldn't I.....
1. I started the New Year with my family. My Mom, sister, brother-in-law and various nephews and niece. We had the traditional southern meal of collards, pork, black eyed peas (hoppin johns) and corn bread. It was a nice treat for my family to get to share some time together.
2. At my sister's advise I taped a quarter over the front door for good luck and it sure has worked. Jenn got a great job at USC and in the fall she will be teaching a Freshman 101 course too. I also took on a new job which has been a blessing putting me back in the part of the mortgage industry I love.
3. I made it to the gym most of the time......not perfect but I hung in there. I even learned I could get up off the floor if I had to.
4. I was able to spend some time with most of my family in June at my nephews wedding in Florida. We have some great family photo's from the occasion. In fact I liked one so much that I now use it on my facebook page.
5. I still get on the scale but decided at the advice of my trainer to not put myself through the weekly weigh-in which seemed to determine my mood for the week.
6. I used up every bit of vacation time (except the 5 days I was allowed to carry-over) and realized the company will not shut down if I am not there everyday.
7. After much encouragement by Jenn, I bought an IPhone. OK how did I ever survive without it. I love my IPhone!!!!!
8. I went on 2 count 'em 2 business trips. I actually flew alone to Maine and back. I learned I do not want to want to switch planes in Philly if I can avoid it. I also learned that pilots hate to land at Reagan in D.C. be cause if the short runway (glad I didn't know that in advance). My second trip was with a bunch of managers and that was fun to travel as a group.
9. I have started to treat myself to things that I wouldn't have before.....a new recliner for the living room, a Keurig coffee maker, the IPhone.....I have not gone crazy but it is nice to not stress about every penny I spend. I am still cautious but every once in a while I say "oh go for it"...
10. I love reading the Sunday New York Times on my kindle......I also love that it only costs me 99 cents to get it downloaded.
11. I love that I have been blessed with another year surrounded by family and friends that I love and that for some crazy reason love me in return. You can't ask for more than that......all in all it has been a good year.
1. I started the New Year with my family. My Mom, sister, brother-in-law and various nephews and niece. We had the traditional southern meal of collards, pork, black eyed peas (hoppin johns) and corn bread. It was a nice treat for my family to get to share some time together.
2. At my sister's advise I taped a quarter over the front door for good luck and it sure has worked. Jenn got a great job at USC and in the fall she will be teaching a Freshman 101 course too. I also took on a new job which has been a blessing putting me back in the part of the mortgage industry I love.
3. I made it to the gym most of the time......not perfect but I hung in there. I even learned I could get up off the floor if I had to.
4. I was able to spend some time with most of my family in June at my nephews wedding in Florida. We have some great family photo's from the occasion. In fact I liked one so much that I now use it on my facebook page.
5. I still get on the scale but decided at the advice of my trainer to not put myself through the weekly weigh-in which seemed to determine my mood for the week.
6. I used up every bit of vacation time (except the 5 days I was allowed to carry-over) and realized the company will not shut down if I am not there everyday.
7. After much encouragement by Jenn, I bought an IPhone. OK how did I ever survive without it. I love my IPhone!!!!!
8. I went on 2 count 'em 2 business trips. I actually flew alone to Maine and back. I learned I do not want to want to switch planes in Philly if I can avoid it. I also learned that pilots hate to land at Reagan in D.C. be cause if the short runway (glad I didn't know that in advance). My second trip was with a bunch of managers and that was fun to travel as a group.
9. I have started to treat myself to things that I wouldn't have before.....a new recliner for the living room, a Keurig coffee maker, the IPhone.....I have not gone crazy but it is nice to not stress about every penny I spend. I am still cautious but every once in a while I say "oh go for it"...
10. I love reading the Sunday New York Times on my kindle......I also love that it only costs me 99 cents to get it downloaded.
11. I love that I have been blessed with another year surrounded by family and friends that I love and that for some crazy reason love me in return. You can't ask for more than that......all in all it has been a good year.
Monday, December 26, 2011
Another Christmas Come and Goes......
It is hard to believe I am writing this the morning after Christmas. Where did the last 48 hours go????
We had a nice quiet Christmas Eve. And Christmas Day was lovely. OK I went way overboard on the books that I asked for......I have enough reading material until July 4th..... if I keep to another one of my resolutions to spend at least 1 to 2 hours a week reading. I love to read but just never seem to find the time so I am adding it to my resolution list.
We spent a few hours with friends and were back home and in our pj's by 6:30. We opened the last 3 gifts of the day.....one of mine was a scrabble game....great choice....since I have been playing Word Feud and Words with Friends on my IPhone I am suddenly in love with scrabble.
Just once or twice I looked at my friends with envy....spouses nearby, discussing the gifts they had received from each other.....some of those gifts were very beautiful.....I had to push those feelings of envy and sadness away....I worked my way through it and moved on.
All in all it was just about the day I had wished for.....I know my holidays with just Jenn are dwindling down and at some point Mr. Right will arrive.....I did tell her when she is married she will have to let her husband know I need her the week before Christmas or I will never get it all done...LOL. There may be Christmas's in the future where I will be spending time alone......that will be OK or I am sure I can find a friend or family member to visit. I will be OK and who knows maybe a day will come when I will not be alone.....you just can't predict the future.
Well on to the New Year.....one more week of holidays and then back to reality and routine......I really don't mind that too much.....but for today it is after Christmas sales......I know I know.....what a way to spend the day.....
The day after Christmas is always a bit of a letdown for me......I need to keep busy and keep those post Christmas blues away.....or I can spend my time figuring out my new coffee maker......or I can read one of the over 100 happy thoughts or things that make me laugh that Jenn put in a jar for me......that gift cost very little to put together but took a lot of time and thought.....tomorrow it will be on my desk so when days get a little rough I will have something to make me smile......Jenn said she will add to the jar as things she think of come up......that little glass jar is priceless......I cheated just now and took out two strips.....one said a happy thought....saving 3 gifts for Christmas night.....the other said I am proud of all you have accomplished.....like I said priceless.....
We had a nice quiet Christmas Eve. And Christmas Day was lovely. OK I went way overboard on the books that I asked for......I have enough reading material until July 4th..... if I keep to another one of my resolutions to spend at least 1 to 2 hours a week reading. I love to read but just never seem to find the time so I am adding it to my resolution list.
We spent a few hours with friends and were back home and in our pj's by 6:30. We opened the last 3 gifts of the day.....one of mine was a scrabble game....great choice....since I have been playing Word Feud and Words with Friends on my IPhone I am suddenly in love with scrabble.
Just once or twice I looked at my friends with envy....spouses nearby, discussing the gifts they had received from each other.....some of those gifts were very beautiful.....I had to push those feelings of envy and sadness away....I worked my way through it and moved on.
All in all it was just about the day I had wished for.....I know my holidays with just Jenn are dwindling down and at some point Mr. Right will arrive.....I did tell her when she is married she will have to let her husband know I need her the week before Christmas or I will never get it all done...LOL. There may be Christmas's in the future where I will be spending time alone......that will be OK or I am sure I can find a friend or family member to visit. I will be OK and who knows maybe a day will come when I will not be alone.....you just can't predict the future.
Well on to the New Year.....one more week of holidays and then back to reality and routine......I really don't mind that too much.....but for today it is after Christmas sales......I know I know.....what a way to spend the day.....
The day after Christmas is always a bit of a letdown for me......I need to keep busy and keep those post Christmas blues away.....or I can spend my time figuring out my new coffee maker......or I can read one of the over 100 happy thoughts or things that make me laugh that Jenn put in a jar for me......that gift cost very little to put together but took a lot of time and thought.....tomorrow it will be on my desk so when days get a little rough I will have something to make me smile......Jenn said she will add to the jar as things she think of come up......that little glass jar is priceless......I cheated just now and took out two strips.....one said a happy thought....saving 3 gifts for Christmas night.....the other said I am proud of all you have accomplished.....like I said priceless.....
Saturday, December 24, 2011
Christmas Eve
Well we finally made it to Christmas Eve....the shopping is done, the wrapping is finished and we are at my favorite point of the holiday.....there is nothing left to do but enjoy......
We watched the Giants win....I took a nap......I woke up from my nap and Jenn was asleep (we are just a partying bunch here) and now we are watching It's A Wonderful Life. Jenn is now awake and preparing snacks for us to eat. This might sound boring to some but it is exactly what I wanted. Most of my family is not having grand parties or huge get togethers.....if there was a large gathering of the family I would want to be there but as it is....it is OK for Jenn and I to have this quiet evening. In years past, Christmas Eve was a busy night and the family would gather. Now due to distance and not always having the time needed to travel or the funds to travel we just have to make due. Bob is in NY with his family and it sounds like they are making the rounds to see all the relatives they can.....that works for them. I am not saying given the opportunity to spend a Christmas Eve with my family all together that I would pass it up......I would love it but there is no one place where everyone is gathering so instead I will call them tomorrow or maybe skype them. We will get to visit via the internet.
But for this evening......it's about Christmas movies, snacks and and the anticipation of what Jenn could have possibly bought me for $5, $10 and $15 in Walmart.......
I will let you know tomorrow the answer to that question.....until then....Merry Christmas Eve.....
We watched the Giants win....I took a nap......I woke up from my nap and Jenn was asleep (we are just a partying bunch here) and now we are watching It's A Wonderful Life. Jenn is now awake and preparing snacks for us to eat. This might sound boring to some but it is exactly what I wanted. Most of my family is not having grand parties or huge get togethers.....if there was a large gathering of the family I would want to be there but as it is....it is OK for Jenn and I to have this quiet evening. In years past, Christmas Eve was a busy night and the family would gather. Now due to distance and not always having the time needed to travel or the funds to travel we just have to make due. Bob is in NY with his family and it sounds like they are making the rounds to see all the relatives they can.....that works for them. I am not saying given the opportunity to spend a Christmas Eve with my family all together that I would pass it up......I would love it but there is no one place where everyone is gathering so instead I will call them tomorrow or maybe skype them. We will get to visit via the internet.
But for this evening......it's about Christmas movies, snacks and and the anticipation of what Jenn could have possibly bought me for $5, $10 and $15 in Walmart.......
I will let you know tomorrow the answer to that question.....until then....Merry Christmas Eve.....
No Man Is A Failure Who Has Friends
My Dad would have agreed with Clarence the Angel from "It's A Wonderful Life". My Dad used to say if when you died you could hold up your hand and say you have 5 friends that you has done well in life.
We all have acquaintances.....a lot of them. They are fun to hang with and share the good times. But there is something about friends....real true friends. They share the good times, they walk with us through the struggles and may even help carry us in our dark hours. There is something about having a history with another person. They have known both the best and worst of you and still for some crazy reason want to be around you. They can complete your sentences, with one look they know what you are thinking and you can go long periods of time without speaking and still get on the phone and catch up in just a few minutes and it is as if it were yesterday that you had just spoken. Yes, acquaintances can become friends but it is not something that happens over night.
The great part about having friends is they choose you too.....not like family where they have to put up with you. Yes, family is family and we all have had some that we would have chosen as friends even if there wasn't a connection by blood but we ALL also have family that we couldn't care if we ever saw them again.
But a good friend is like a pair of old slippers.....comfortable, familiar and although they might show some wear you won't replace them.
I have friends from various stages in my life....they came into my life from different directions. They may not have always agreed with me or thought my choices were right but they have refrained from using those dreaded words "I told you so". I don't know what I would have done without them.....they have shared my joys and successes......they have listened to me when I was trying to figure out life......and when I needed a sounding board they were there.
No man or woman is a failure who has friends......I guess that makes me a success!! But those poor people that have become my friends......sorry guys you are stuck with me and I with you.....I feel very blessed.
We all have acquaintances.....a lot of them. They are fun to hang with and share the good times. But there is something about friends....real true friends. They share the good times, they walk with us through the struggles and may even help carry us in our dark hours. There is something about having a history with another person. They have known both the best and worst of you and still for some crazy reason want to be around you. They can complete your sentences, with one look they know what you are thinking and you can go long periods of time without speaking and still get on the phone and catch up in just a few minutes and it is as if it were yesterday that you had just spoken. Yes, acquaintances can become friends but it is not something that happens over night.
The great part about having friends is they choose you too.....not like family where they have to put up with you. Yes, family is family and we all have had some that we would have chosen as friends even if there wasn't a connection by blood but we ALL also have family that we couldn't care if we ever saw them again.
But a good friend is like a pair of old slippers.....comfortable, familiar and although they might show some wear you won't replace them.
I have friends from various stages in my life....they came into my life from different directions. They may not have always agreed with me or thought my choices were right but they have refrained from using those dreaded words "I told you so". I don't know what I would have done without them.....they have shared my joys and successes......they have listened to me when I was trying to figure out life......and when I needed a sounding board they were there.
No man or woman is a failure who has friends......I guess that makes me a success!! But those poor people that have become my friends......sorry guys you are stuck with me and I with you.....I feel very blessed.
The Polar Express- Quote 2
The thing about trains... it doesn't matter where they're going. What matters is deciding to get on.
I am been standing at the train station for so long that my feet are stuck on the floor of the platform. Those of you who know me well know my indecision when it comes to certain things can be a real struggle. I plan and I dream but I never get myself to get on the train. Well, that is one of my New Years resolutions......it is time to stop standing at the platform and waiving goodbye as others hop on the train. This year is my time to get my ticket punched and hop on. I am not sure what train it will be and in which direction it will head but I have promised myself that the time has come for some new adventures. For me just making a commitment to this is a major move. It could be working more on my writing, it could be trying to be more spontaneous, it could be going on a trip or any other number of things.
The bottom line is I am on the platform and waiting for the train to pull in......I can hear the whistle in the distance, my ticket is punched and now it is time to climb on......destination unknown.
By the end of 2012, I hope I have done entries about where I have gone and what new adventures I have had........I think I am finally ready.
ALL ABOARD......
I am been standing at the train station for so long that my feet are stuck on the floor of the platform. Those of you who know me well know my indecision when it comes to certain things can be a real struggle. I plan and I dream but I never get myself to get on the train. Well, that is one of my New Years resolutions......it is time to stop standing at the platform and waiving goodbye as others hop on the train. This year is my time to get my ticket punched and hop on. I am not sure what train it will be and in which direction it will head but I have promised myself that the time has come for some new adventures. For me just making a commitment to this is a major move. It could be working more on my writing, it could be trying to be more spontaneous, it could be going on a trip or any other number of things.
The bottom line is I am on the platform and waiting for the train to pull in......I can hear the whistle in the distance, my ticket is punched and now it is time to climb on......destination unknown.
By the end of 2012, I hope I have done entries about where I have gone and what new adventures I have had........I think I am finally ready.
ALL ABOARD......
Thursday, December 22, 2011
The Polar Express- Quote 1
Seeing is believing, but sometimes the most real things in the world are the things we can't see.
Who would think a children's story would have such a profound statement? I have never stopped believing in Santa and the magic. I do understand what it means to believe in things you can't see......I believe in the me yet to be. In my head, I do have a vision of what I may look like when I have gotten to a certain point in my journey. You will note I said "gotten to a certain point" not the end of my journey. This journey has no end......it has twists and turns even I had never anticipated. The thing that keeps me going is the belief in something even I can't see......this journey is not only about the physical but about the inside of me too. There is such an emotional piece that I struggle with as hard as the fight that forces me to continue to go to the gym on a regular basis.
But as with my belief in Santa......I believe in me......I have a pin on my desk that I have been wearing the last few weeks.....it simply says Believe......normally I would put it away once Christmas is over but this year I think I will keep it on my desk.....it is a sign I need to see as I travel on my journey.......a reminder that I may not see the physical changes I seek immediately but there are other changes taking place inside of me.....and in that I do believe......
Who would think a children's story would have such a profound statement? I have never stopped believing in Santa and the magic. I do understand what it means to believe in things you can't see......I believe in the me yet to be. In my head, I do have a vision of what I may look like when I have gotten to a certain point in my journey. You will note I said "gotten to a certain point" not the end of my journey. This journey has no end......it has twists and turns even I had never anticipated. The thing that keeps me going is the belief in something even I can't see......this journey is not only about the physical but about the inside of me too. There is such an emotional piece that I struggle with as hard as the fight that forces me to continue to go to the gym on a regular basis.
But as with my belief in Santa......I believe in me......I have a pin on my desk that I have been wearing the last few weeks.....it simply says Believe......normally I would put it away once Christmas is over but this year I think I will keep it on my desk.....it is a sign I need to see as I travel on my journey.......a reminder that I may not see the physical changes I seek immediately but there are other changes taking place inside of me.....and in that I do believe......
Sunday, December 18, 2011
Secret Doozins (duesines) and Other Family Terms
Family language.....is there anything like it?? I am sure my family is not unique in the use of terms or phrases that only a family member would know. But in case you run into my family here is a brief list of terms they will understand:
1. Secret Doozins (pronounced dues ins)- this means "secret doings"- around the holidays we would be all doing our secret shopping etc.....if someone asked what you were doing you would say secret doings which my dad turned into secret doozins- it meant don't ask and you will find out soon .....like on Christmas
2. Datsita (pronounced dat sit ah)this means coffee....not sure where the one came from but when we lived at home Dad would ask for more datsita we knew it meant coffee
3. Royroys (pronounced roy roys)- this is pasta cooked in olive oil and garlic- I believe it is correctly called aglio e olio
4. Gadabouch (pronounced God a boo ch)- the meant the trash- you would hear someone say put this in the gadabouch and know what it meant
5. Scargots (pronounced scar gots)- this means escargot- we just got lazy and it was never escargot again in my house- one time my grandmother was out to dinner and said she had to stop and think how to pronounce it correctly because she was so used to saying it the way we did at home.
6. a pheasant motel- (pronounced just the way it is)- if someone in the family says they stayed at a pheasant or it wasn't a pheasant we know just what they mean-- a pheasant motel is basically a run down motel or a dive with drawers that do not match, a door that does not lock and paper cups wrapped in plastic in the bathroom- the term was derived by my family on our cross country camping trip back in the 1971......we very seldom stayed in motels.....most nights we were in our tent.....one night dad splurged for a motel.....I don't remember if we couldn't find a campground or if we had driven too late to start setting up camp......anyway this place had nothing on the Bates Motel.....it has all the things I mentioned above no locks, plastic cups, etc.....we even put things in front of the door so it could not be opened from the outside......when we were packing the car to leave the "motel" the next morning we noticed the front door to the room next door was open....next thing we saw a pheasant came walking out of the room....hence the term pheasant hotel
7. Some mule- (pronounced just the way it is)- My Uncle Johnny always brought the most outrageous desserts to a family gatherings- around Christmas he would bring a cake shaped like the yule log- when someone was asked what they wanted for dessert they replied some yule- meaning the yule cake....my younger brother thought they said some mule....and so another phrase in the family dictionary was born.
8. Godmother's prerogative- this means if Mom say no you can go to your Godmother who can overrule Mom. It started with something as simple as being allowed to eat a piece of candy before dinner or not having to eat broccoli. It did eventually grow into other things a Godmother was allowed to do (kind of) without Mom's permission. I think I might have crossed the line when I took my niece to get her ears pierced when she was 2 or 3 without checking with my sister about it first. My sister was initially shocked by then said it was OK. I should have known that she would one up me when my daughter came home from an afternoon out with my sister and now had 2 ear piercings in each ear. We sisters agreed after that to take it down a notch before we had kids with tattoos before the age of 10.
9.Jennifer Eve- I decided not only should a birthday be celebrated but also the Eve of the birthday hence Jennifer Eve. On Jennifer Eve......she could have whatever she wanted for dinner and we had to go along with it. One year it was French Toast and French Fries....another year Hamburger Helper.....another time we had a backwards dinner (cake first and then the real meal). I have shared the idea of Jennifer Eve with some friends and they now do this with their children.
OK this next one is not for those who can be offended easily.....you might want to skip it......
10. AMF- the kids thought it meant adios my friend....not even close.....one derivative of it is Happy Birthday My Friend....trust me there are many more but I am trying to keep this to where I am not offending any one too much...
I love family language.....it is one of the things that bonds us and can make us laugh hard when someone says I just stayed at a real pheasant......we all know what they mean and the laughter that follows is not mean spirited.....it is just an understanding that only a family can share.
1. Secret Doozins (pronounced dues ins)- this means "secret doings"- around the holidays we would be all doing our secret shopping etc.....if someone asked what you were doing you would say secret doings which my dad turned into secret doozins- it meant don't ask and you will find out soon .....like on Christmas
2. Datsita (pronounced dat sit ah)this means coffee....not sure where the one came from but when we lived at home Dad would ask for more datsita we knew it meant coffee
3. Royroys (pronounced roy roys)- this is pasta cooked in olive oil and garlic- I believe it is correctly called aglio e olio
4. Gadabouch (pronounced God a boo ch)- the meant the trash- you would hear someone say put this in the gadabouch and know what it meant
5. Scargots (pronounced scar gots)- this means escargot- we just got lazy and it was never escargot again in my house- one time my grandmother was out to dinner and said she had to stop and think how to pronounce it correctly because she was so used to saying it the way we did at home.
6. a pheasant motel- (pronounced just the way it is)- if someone in the family says they stayed at a pheasant or it wasn't a pheasant we know just what they mean-- a pheasant motel is basically a run down motel or a dive with drawers that do not match, a door that does not lock and paper cups wrapped in plastic in the bathroom- the term was derived by my family on our cross country camping trip back in the 1971......we very seldom stayed in motels.....most nights we were in our tent.....one night dad splurged for a motel.....I don't remember if we couldn't find a campground or if we had driven too late to start setting up camp......anyway this place had nothing on the Bates Motel.....it has all the things I mentioned above no locks, plastic cups, etc.....we even put things in front of the door so it could not be opened from the outside......when we were packing the car to leave the "motel" the next morning we noticed the front door to the room next door was open....next thing we saw a pheasant came walking out of the room....hence the term pheasant hotel
7. Some mule- (pronounced just the way it is)- My Uncle Johnny always brought the most outrageous desserts to a family gatherings- around Christmas he would bring a cake shaped like the yule log- when someone was asked what they wanted for dessert they replied some yule- meaning the yule cake....my younger brother thought they said some mule....and so another phrase in the family dictionary was born.
8. Godmother's prerogative- this means if Mom say no you can go to your Godmother who can overrule Mom. It started with something as simple as being allowed to eat a piece of candy before dinner or not having to eat broccoli. It did eventually grow into other things a Godmother was allowed to do (kind of) without Mom's permission. I think I might have crossed the line when I took my niece to get her ears pierced when she was 2 or 3 without checking with my sister about it first. My sister was initially shocked by then said it was OK. I should have known that she would one up me when my daughter came home from an afternoon out with my sister and now had 2 ear piercings in each ear. We sisters agreed after that to take it down a notch before we had kids with tattoos before the age of 10.
9.Jennifer Eve- I decided not only should a birthday be celebrated but also the Eve of the birthday hence Jennifer Eve. On Jennifer Eve......she could have whatever she wanted for dinner and we had to go along with it. One year it was French Toast and French Fries....another year Hamburger Helper.....another time we had a backwards dinner (cake first and then the real meal). I have shared the idea of Jennifer Eve with some friends and they now do this with their children.
OK this next one is not for those who can be offended easily.....you might want to skip it......
10. AMF- the kids thought it meant adios my friend....not even close.....one derivative of it is Happy Birthday My Friend....trust me there are many more but I am trying to keep this to where I am not offending any one too much...
I love family language.....it is one of the things that bonds us and can make us laugh hard when someone says I just stayed at a real pheasant......we all know what they mean and the laughter that follows is not mean spirited.....it is just an understanding that only a family can share.
The Scale Before and After ......
I think I will weigh myself this week before the big day. I weighed myself around Thanksgiving and was pleased that things seemed to be heading in the right direction even if it is very slowly. I will then weigh myself New year's Day so I know where I am at as I head into 2012.
My new job keeps me so busy I no where eat what I used to. I bring in food for breakfast, lunch and snack but many times just end up bringing them back home. I say that is a good thing. When I get home I am too tired to make any major effort to cook any thing but something as basic as soup. I feel that I will start to see the benefits of these eating changes once my body realizes I am not trying to starve it and am just adjusting to the new way I am eating. Also, once I am back in the gym in January I know that will kick everything into gear. I miss the gym this month but it was just adding additional stress to my life worrying about not getting there or saying I was going to go and not making it there......this time of year I am trying to reduce stress not create more. I already have my first date with my trainer scheduled for the first week of January so I am good to go.
New eating routines and back to working out......I am so ready to begin.
Like the last few years......once again the focus will be on me and I feel comfortable that I will have continued success in my goals to get healthy, eat healthy, lose weight and be a better me.
2 weeks and counting......
My new job keeps me so busy I no where eat what I used to. I bring in food for breakfast, lunch and snack but many times just end up bringing them back home. I say that is a good thing. When I get home I am too tired to make any major effort to cook any thing but something as basic as soup. I feel that I will start to see the benefits of these eating changes once my body realizes I am not trying to starve it and am just adjusting to the new way I am eating. Also, once I am back in the gym in January I know that will kick everything into gear. I miss the gym this month but it was just adding additional stress to my life worrying about not getting there or saying I was going to go and not making it there......this time of year I am trying to reduce stress not create more. I already have my first date with my trainer scheduled for the first week of January so I am good to go.
New eating routines and back to working out......I am so ready to begin.
Like the last few years......once again the focus will be on me and I feel comfortable that I will have continued success in my goals to get healthy, eat healthy, lose weight and be a better me.
2 weeks and counting......
Why Am I Suddenly Homesick....
Last night as Jenn and I were running an errand, she mentioned going to Shoprite (our local supermarket in NY). It made me think of going food shopping and 9 times out of 10 running into someone I knew. It made me a little sad. I very seldom run into anyone I know at the supermarket. I know part of this has to do with the fact that Shoprite was the only supermarket in my hometown (Pearl River NY) so of course the odds of running into someone you knew were pretty good. I also like running into my brother Greg who worked the night shift there. I would be in shopping early on Sunday morning and he would just be finishing up. Now I haven't seen him in a few years. We talk on the phone but it is not the same as seeing him.
Last year, my Mom was here the week before Christmas. She helped bake, made us beautiful angels that now grace our living room and helped add to the holidays. This year she will be in NY for the holidays.
I talk to my brother George every few weeks and my sister Cheryl once a week or every other week. What I would give for one more Christmas with all of us together. Each year some challenge comes up that makes all of us being in the same place at the same time difficult. I will be heading to NY pretty soon to visit Mom and hopefully will be able to see everyone in the family while I am there......but it is not the same as spending Christmas Eve under one roof.....the laughter, the familiarity of the family stories shared and of course the foods. A sharing of traditions and history.
I love the song have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas but it also makes me a little sad......I think about the family I am not seeing......makes me wonder if ever again we will all be able to share a holiday together in NY.
The holidays are filled with wonder, excitement and anticipation.....but my mind keeps going back to those Christmas's past where we all came together at 33 Haven Terrace and for a few hours and shared the magic of Christmas. I wish I could go back for just one of those Christmas's again.....with my Dad......I would love to have Jenn share that experience with me.....
Look how far I have gotten off track from my original entry......I started at Shoprite and ended up with Christmas with my Dad.
I am not homesick often but this time of year......I do get the yearning to be in NY......of course, I know that Christmas up there is different now too.....in my mind everyone has a Norman Rockwell picture Christmas but me....LOL....I know the reality is it has changed for all of us......I will shake off the homesickness and enjoy the holidays with the new friends I have made since I moved here 13 years ago but I have to say honestly there will be some part of me hanging around in the kitchen watching my dad cook the traditional Italian 7 kinds of fish dinner....if only in my dreams.....
Last year, my Mom was here the week before Christmas. She helped bake, made us beautiful angels that now grace our living room and helped add to the holidays. This year she will be in NY for the holidays.
I talk to my brother George every few weeks and my sister Cheryl once a week or every other week. What I would give for one more Christmas with all of us together. Each year some challenge comes up that makes all of us being in the same place at the same time difficult. I will be heading to NY pretty soon to visit Mom and hopefully will be able to see everyone in the family while I am there......but it is not the same as spending Christmas Eve under one roof.....the laughter, the familiarity of the family stories shared and of course the foods. A sharing of traditions and history.
I love the song have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas but it also makes me a little sad......I think about the family I am not seeing......makes me wonder if ever again we will all be able to share a holiday together in NY.
The holidays are filled with wonder, excitement and anticipation.....but my mind keeps going back to those Christmas's past where we all came together at 33 Haven Terrace and for a few hours and shared the magic of Christmas. I wish I could go back for just one of those Christmas's again.....with my Dad......I would love to have Jenn share that experience with me.....
Look how far I have gotten off track from my original entry......I started at Shoprite and ended up with Christmas with my Dad.
I am not homesick often but this time of year......I do get the yearning to be in NY......of course, I know that Christmas up there is different now too.....in my mind everyone has a Norman Rockwell picture Christmas but me....LOL....I know the reality is it has changed for all of us......I will shake off the homesickness and enjoy the holidays with the new friends I have made since I moved here 13 years ago but I have to say honestly there will be some part of me hanging around in the kitchen watching my dad cook the traditional Italian 7 kinds of fish dinner....if only in my dreams.....
Love The Holidays but Miss the Daily Routine
I love the holidays. I love looking at the tree at night with it's lights and garland. I love the smell of special foods baking in the kitchen. I love saying Merry Christmas....sorry not Happy Holidays.....but Merry Christmas.
The downside is your daily routine is totally thrown out of whack. You come home from work....late and tired and have to bake pinwheels. You pencil in time to get the cards written. You know that each night you will have some task to get done. It only once a year and that is part of what makes the holidays so special.
But like most people.....I do miss my daily routines. Going to the gym 4 times a week, not having to say no to the special treats we eat this time of year, being able to come home from work and relax, loving the decorations but dreading taking them down. How bare and dull everything looks when it is all gone.
I am a person who likes control and routine ....are you surprised? Being that way makes this time a year a real struggle but I get through it and enjoy it and am grateful when it is over.....no I am not a Scrooge.....it just is the part of me that likes to know Tuesday and Thursday is gym night.....Saturday and Sunday early morning workouts at the gym.....
I will miss the holidays when they are over and am really trying to enjoy the week ahead but there is something to be said for the routine of life......
The downside is your daily routine is totally thrown out of whack. You come home from work....late and tired and have to bake pinwheels. You pencil in time to get the cards written. You know that each night you will have some task to get done. It only once a year and that is part of what makes the holidays so special.
But like most people.....I do miss my daily routines. Going to the gym 4 times a week, not having to say no to the special treats we eat this time of year, being able to come home from work and relax, loving the decorations but dreading taking them down. How bare and dull everything looks when it is all gone.
I am a person who likes control and routine ....are you surprised? Being that way makes this time a year a real struggle but I get through it and enjoy it and am grateful when it is over.....no I am not a Scrooge.....it just is the part of me that likes to know Tuesday and Thursday is gym night.....Saturday and Sunday early morning workouts at the gym.....
I will miss the holidays when they are over and am really trying to enjoy the week ahead but there is something to be said for the routine of life......
On Track For Christmas
I am proud to say the tree is up ,the outside is decorated, the packages that need to be mailed have been, the cards are written and will be mailed today, cookies for the office are done, any present that has come into the house has been wrapped. So heading into the last week toward Christmas.......I am in pretty good shape. There are still some gifts left to buy but nothing that I won't be able to find. My Christmas assistant Jenn has kept me on track. This afternoon we will bake some additional chocolate chips, try out some sugar cookies and thumbprints. We will make normal quantities......not like years past where there were cookies everywhere and many times I ended up doing the annual New Year's Day pitching of the cookies into the trash.
The ingredients are not cheap, I don't need the added temptations and it is a lot of work. Jenn has been a huge help with the baking. I do love watching her mix cookie batter knowing her Great Grandmother Raboni used the same recipes 70 plus years ago. We have recipes on paper, on the computer saved in various folders and on index cards. One of the official signs the holidays are approaching is the first phone call to ask for a recipe from a family member. There are strict family rules about cookie baking....only chocolate chips may be made any time of the year. All of the other recipes can only be made between Thanksgiving and Christmas. The rules have been explained at length to new family members and everyone abides by the rules.....as far as I know. Lord help the person who makes a pinwheel or thumbprint in July......I am sure something terrible will happen to them.....LOL. Jenn laughs as she pulls out either the index cards or paper recipes.....they are stained from the various ingredients used to make them.....the corners are dog eared and you can tell they have been handled so many times.
As I said earlier, this week will be pretty easy.......Jenn and I have to get those last cookies baked. We have to plan our holiday meals. We have decided to buy each other surprise gifts and here are the rules ....we can spend $5 each on a gift or gifts at Family Dollar, $10 on a gift at Big Lots and $15 on a gift at Target or KMart. There gifts will be opened at the end of the day on Christmas. For years we have always saved 3 gifts to open at the end of the day......it is fun to have something to end the day with......and since we are limiting the amount of money we can spend .....you have to be creative. My main goal is to have everything done by the time my head hits the pillow Friday night. I want Christmas Eve and Christmas Day to be just about doing whatever I want.
I am sure with Jenn's assistance that is exactly what will happen....
The ingredients are not cheap, I don't need the added temptations and it is a lot of work. Jenn has been a huge help with the baking. I do love watching her mix cookie batter knowing her Great Grandmother Raboni used the same recipes 70 plus years ago. We have recipes on paper, on the computer saved in various folders and on index cards. One of the official signs the holidays are approaching is the first phone call to ask for a recipe from a family member. There are strict family rules about cookie baking....only chocolate chips may be made any time of the year. All of the other recipes can only be made between Thanksgiving and Christmas. The rules have been explained at length to new family members and everyone abides by the rules.....as far as I know. Lord help the person who makes a pinwheel or thumbprint in July......I am sure something terrible will happen to them.....LOL. Jenn laughs as she pulls out either the index cards or paper recipes.....they are stained from the various ingredients used to make them.....the corners are dog eared and you can tell they have been handled so many times.
As I said earlier, this week will be pretty easy.......Jenn and I have to get those last cookies baked. We have to plan our holiday meals. We have decided to buy each other surprise gifts and here are the rules ....we can spend $5 each on a gift or gifts at Family Dollar, $10 on a gift at Big Lots and $15 on a gift at Target or KMart. There gifts will be opened at the end of the day on Christmas. For years we have always saved 3 gifts to open at the end of the day......it is fun to have something to end the day with......and since we are limiting the amount of money we can spend .....you have to be creative. My main goal is to have everything done by the time my head hits the pillow Friday night. I want Christmas Eve and Christmas Day to be just about doing whatever I want.
I am sure with Jenn's assistance that is exactly what will happen....
The Godiva and Me
Trying to get through the holidays without completely blowing it......what a challenge.......
But I am trying hard. Case an point.......remember the pumpkin pie that I treated myself to at Thanksgiving for a big $2.99......it got pitched without even taking a slice.
Candy and cookies given to us by neighbors........not one spec has passed my lips.
This week there was a big challenge......someone had sent to the office a huge box of Godiva Chocolates. YUM!! I walked by the table it was on without stopping....well at first I did.....then I went back and look at the box.....then I looked at the paper that tells you which kind of chocolate is which. I read it carefully.......the I opened the box and announced to anyone in listening range that I was going to have one. Well the box had been pretty well picked over but there were still enough left for me to make some selection with the guidance of the paper telling me what was what. I even went as far as to pull off the top level to see what was left on the bottom level. I had zeroed in on my choice....a nice juicy caramel. And then I put everything back in the box and walked away without taking one.
Score on for me!!!! I guess one of the things I have learned is to think before I eat and to realize that that piece of chocolate might taste good for a minute that would be it and it would be gone.
I am not saying I will not get through the next 2 weeks without any treats but for a change I will pick and choose them carefully. Like the pumpkin pie and the Godiva chocolates.....I will think is it really worth it????
But I am trying hard. Case an point.......remember the pumpkin pie that I treated myself to at Thanksgiving for a big $2.99......it got pitched without even taking a slice.
Candy and cookies given to us by neighbors........not one spec has passed my lips.
This week there was a big challenge......someone had sent to the office a huge box of Godiva Chocolates. YUM!! I walked by the table it was on without stopping....well at first I did.....then I went back and look at the box.....then I looked at the paper that tells you which kind of chocolate is which. I read it carefully.......the I opened the box and announced to anyone in listening range that I was going to have one. Well the box had been pretty well picked over but there were still enough left for me to make some selection with the guidance of the paper telling me what was what. I even went as far as to pull off the top level to see what was left on the bottom level. I had zeroed in on my choice....a nice juicy caramel. And then I put everything back in the box and walked away without taking one.
Score on for me!!!! I guess one of the things I have learned is to think before I eat and to realize that that piece of chocolate might taste good for a minute that would be it and it would be gone.
I am not saying I will not get through the next 2 weeks without any treats but for a change I will pick and choose them carefully. Like the pumpkin pie and the Godiva chocolates.....I will think is it really worth it????
Sunday, December 11, 2011
Guess What I Found Today..........Christmas
As you all know I have been searching for Christmas.....well many times you find things where you least expect to.....where did I find it????.....the last place I would have thought to look....across the street from the Rite Aid parking lot on Garners Ferry Road....
Jenn and I were heading to Walgreens to buy my lovely head attire for the Christmas Breakfast at the office (I stated in an earlier post that I would not be donning the Santa Hat the other manager's would be wearing......I instead will be wearing a headband with antlers, mistletoe and bells....less chance of hat hair)......
Anyway, all of a sudden Jenn says "Mom look at that!!!!" I tuned my head and saw motorcycles......hundreds of them.....I would even venture to say thousands of them....they were in the VA parking lot and coming down Garners Ferry Road......we pulled into the Rite Aid parking lot and watched......the motorcycles continue to come for another 15 minutes......I have never seen so many motorcycles in my whole life.....I told Jenn it was the Veteran's Christmas Charity Ride....
We were not the only people who stopped to watch....the Rite Aid and adjoining parking lot had a lot of cars parked with people watching......Jenn got out of the car and took pictures and a video with her cell phone.....
Being such a sap.....I did have to wipe away a few tears.....but it was an amazing feeling to watch all those vet's riding by.....a few were even dressed as Santa....
When Jenn got back in the car she asked me if I now felt Christmas ..... I have to say I did .....it is not about the presents or food or the can you top this attitude that goes with the holiday......I was reminded it is about small acts of kindness.....I could feel the magic as I watched the parade of motorcycles go by.......now I just have to figure out how to keep that feeling.....not just for the next two weeks but also for the 52 that follow........
Jenn and I were heading to Walgreens to buy my lovely head attire for the Christmas Breakfast at the office (I stated in an earlier post that I would not be donning the Santa Hat the other manager's would be wearing......I instead will be wearing a headband with antlers, mistletoe and bells....less chance of hat hair)......
Anyway, all of a sudden Jenn says "Mom look at that!!!!" I tuned my head and saw motorcycles......hundreds of them.....I would even venture to say thousands of them....they were in the VA parking lot and coming down Garners Ferry Road......we pulled into the Rite Aid parking lot and watched......the motorcycles continue to come for another 15 minutes......I have never seen so many motorcycles in my whole life.....I told Jenn it was the Veteran's Christmas Charity Ride....
We were not the only people who stopped to watch....the Rite Aid and adjoining parking lot had a lot of cars parked with people watching......Jenn got out of the car and took pictures and a video with her cell phone.....
Being such a sap.....I did have to wipe away a few tears.....but it was an amazing feeling to watch all those vet's riding by.....a few were even dressed as Santa....
When Jenn got back in the car she asked me if I now felt Christmas ..... I have to say I did .....it is not about the presents or food or the can you top this attitude that goes with the holiday......I was reminded it is about small acts of kindness.....I could feel the magic as I watched the parade of motorcycles go by.......now I just have to figure out how to keep that feeling.....not just for the next two weeks but also for the 52 that follow........
Saturday, December 10, 2011
Was That Part of a Pretzel???
When I was young I found the sleeves on a nun's habit fascinating.They would pull things out of those sleeves like a magician does out of his hat. Suddenly a handkerchief would appear, a piece of chalk, a rosary and the dreaded clicker.....what is the clicker you ask.....it was a little something that make a clicking sounds to let us know when to stand, sit and kneel (that is definitely material for another entry) .....anyway you never quite knew what might appear from up those sleeves......I wouldn't have been surprised if the Sunday New York Times or a peanut butter and jelly sandwich appeared from those sleeves....
Where an I going with this you might ask.....well there are times when I have used my bra the same way.....I put money, my inhaler, car keys and my ATM card down in there....sometimes by them selves and sometimes as a group.....LOL....I treat it like a mini pocketbook.....LOL
But I digress....one morning this week I was taking a shower and I saw something fall on the floor of the tub.....I thought for a second "what was that?" I picked up the fallen item and examined it....without my glasses which is a challenge....what was it I was looking at?? It was part of a pretzel......yes part of a pretzel. So now I am standing in the shower wondering where the hell a part of a pretzel came from???? Then it hit me......I had eaten some pretzels at work the day before.....I guess a piece of one had fallen into my blouse, working its way into my bra and under my left boob.....apparently even when I came home, changed and took off my bra that little piece of pretzel has found a place to stay the night.....how scary is that......is the space under the girls a new food bank??? Like the nuns sleeves??? Do I now have to check each night to make sure nothing has decided to take residence there? Imagine if I had an accident and end up in the hospital......they would have thought I was some kind of a nut with a piece of pretzel tucked under a body part....well now I have something to add to my nightly routine.....check for stray food parts....LOL.....like I don't have enough to do......
Where an I going with this you might ask.....well there are times when I have used my bra the same way.....I put money, my inhaler, car keys and my ATM card down in there....sometimes by them selves and sometimes as a group.....LOL....I treat it like a mini pocketbook.....LOL
But I digress....one morning this week I was taking a shower and I saw something fall on the floor of the tub.....I thought for a second "what was that?" I picked up the fallen item and examined it....without my glasses which is a challenge....what was it I was looking at?? It was part of a pretzel......yes part of a pretzel. So now I am standing in the shower wondering where the hell a part of a pretzel came from???? Then it hit me......I had eaten some pretzels at work the day before.....I guess a piece of one had fallen into my blouse, working its way into my bra and under my left boob.....apparently even when I came home, changed and took off my bra that little piece of pretzel has found a place to stay the night.....how scary is that......is the space under the girls a new food bank??? Like the nuns sleeves??? Do I now have to check each night to make sure nothing has decided to take residence there? Imagine if I had an accident and end up in the hospital......they would have thought I was some kind of a nut with a piece of pretzel tucked under a body part....well now I have something to add to my nightly routine.....check for stray food parts....LOL.....like I don't have enough to do......
Where Are You Christmas - Part 3
I am still in search of Christmas. I thought I felt it for a few seconds here and there. Not with the overwhelming excitement I felt as a child but there have been a few moments of the Christmas feeling.
Each day at 5:00, I turn my Iphone to the Pandora application. I have Christmas music as one of my stations. OK.....let's talk for a second about Pandora.....this is amazing.....I started using it by accident.....I was at work after 5:00 and I pulled out my IPOD to plug into my little portable speaker but the battery was dead, I was telling Jenn about that on the phone and wanted her to remind me to charge up the battery so I could use it after hours. Jenn said I should use Pandora in the meantime. WOW....that app is great.....I use it each day after 5:00 while I work.....the sound is great and I don't use a lot of the phone battery.....
Anyway......I just want you to know I did feel Christmas even if it was only for a few fleeting seconds......hopefully this week I will feel it a little more......I am running out of time.....Christmas is only 2 weeks away.......so I better find Christmas fast.....other wise I have to wait another 52 weeks to feel it again.....
Each day at 5:00, I turn my Iphone to the Pandora application. I have Christmas music as one of my stations. OK.....let's talk for a second about Pandora.....this is amazing.....I started using it by accident.....I was at work after 5:00 and I pulled out my IPOD to plug into my little portable speaker but the battery was dead, I was telling Jenn about that on the phone and wanted her to remind me to charge up the battery so I could use it after hours. Jenn said I should use Pandora in the meantime. WOW....that app is great.....I use it each day after 5:00 while I work.....the sound is great and I don't use a lot of the phone battery.....
Anyway......I just want you to know I did feel Christmas even if it was only for a few fleeting seconds......hopefully this week I will feel it a little more......I am running out of time.....Christmas is only 2 weeks away.......so I better find Christmas fast.....other wise I have to wait another 52 weeks to feel it again.....
Benefits of Working Late
Working late.....I have been doing it a lot lately......not that I mind. I use the time after 5:00 to get caught up on what I don't get to during the work day. I could bring my laptop home and work from there. I may start doing that.....I am thinking about getting an flat screen monitor to hook-up to my laptop so I will have 2 screens like I do at work. That will make it much easier to work at home. In the New Year, Tuesday and Thursday will not be late nights because I will be getting back to the gym on a regular schedule and that is a good thing.
Anyway, there is a benefit to working late......each night when I leave the office.....I call my Mom. The conversation usually starts like this "Hi Mom" that's me...."Donna, are you on your way home?" that's Mom....."Yes, I am on my way home" that's me....."Oh Donna you are working late and long days" that's Mom.....but the nice part is I get to set aside the time during the ride home to catch up with Mom. We cover the same topics each day.....how is her day, how is she feeling, has she talked to anyone, what has she had to eat and on and on. She asks the same questions.....how was my day, anything new with Jenn and have I talked to any family members.....
This might sound boring and routine but it means a lot to me. It means each day I have a 20 minute or so conversation with Mom. Usually we do not solve the worlds problems, we do talk about sports and TV. But I treat it as a daily visit with Mom. As I move along the highway headed home it gives me something else to think about other than how tired I might be.
Mom will say after about 25 minutes, "Are you home yet?".....my usual response is either "I am just driving into my sub-division or I have already been in the driveway a few minutes." We end the conversation by saying "I love you and I will talk to you tomorrow." Those conversations give me chance to unwind and talk to Mom as if we were sitting across the table from each other having a cup of coffee.
If I was coming home at rush hour I might not be able to afford myself that luxury. If I start bringing home my laptop....I will still carve out time each day for our conversations. And I know is some states talking on my cell phone would be grounds for a ticket but for now it makes the commute home after a long day a good way to pass the time......and a chance to visit with Mom.
Anyway, there is a benefit to working late......each night when I leave the office.....I call my Mom. The conversation usually starts like this "Hi Mom" that's me...."Donna, are you on your way home?" that's Mom....."Yes, I am on my way home" that's me....."Oh Donna you are working late and long days" that's Mom.....but the nice part is I get to set aside the time during the ride home to catch up with Mom. We cover the same topics each day.....how is her day, how is she feeling, has she talked to anyone, what has she had to eat and on and on. She asks the same questions.....how was my day, anything new with Jenn and have I talked to any family members.....
This might sound boring and routine but it means a lot to me. It means each day I have a 20 minute or so conversation with Mom. Usually we do not solve the worlds problems, we do talk about sports and TV. But I treat it as a daily visit with Mom. As I move along the highway headed home it gives me something else to think about other than how tired I might be.
Mom will say after about 25 minutes, "Are you home yet?".....my usual response is either "I am just driving into my sub-division or I have already been in the driveway a few minutes." We end the conversation by saying "I love you and I will talk to you tomorrow." Those conversations give me chance to unwind and talk to Mom as if we were sitting across the table from each other having a cup of coffee.
If I was coming home at rush hour I might not be able to afford myself that luxury. If I start bringing home my laptop....I will still carve out time each day for our conversations. And I know is some states talking on my cell phone would be grounds for a ticket but for now it makes the commute home after a long day a good way to pass the time......and a chance to visit with Mom.
The Ring Fits
As I have said before I need to look for the little changes that show I am heading in the right direction. This week I decided to step out of my comfort zone. I decided to wear a Christmas bracelet and a Christmas pin the says Believe. Now you may not think of this as a major event but it is for me. I am such a creature of habit. Each day I put on the same wrist watch, same ring, same 2 pairs of earrings and the same necklace. I have some very pretty necklaces but at a time when I needed a reminder of faith I started wearing a little cross each day. I have not worn another necklace since......now I am superstitious that if I don't wear the cross something bad will happen. How foolish is that......as if the necklace had the power to keep everything in check and all I care about safe. I know logically that the little cross is not changing anything but the subconscious side of me has a hard time making the change
Another New Year resolution......wear some different necklaces.
Anyway back to the little changes I seek. While I was walking on the wild side with a the Christmas bracelet and pin.....I came across a ring I used to wear. It is a simple white gold ring with 2 rows of tiny diamonds. I loved the ring when I got it almost 20 years ago. I stopped wearing it years ago because it had gotten too tight and it was a struggle to get it on and off my hand each day. You would have thought I would have taken it as a sign that I needed to focus on my weight. But at that point in my life it was easier to just to remove the offending item and ignore what was going on.
On an impulse, I tried the ring on.....and it fit. No struggle to get it past my knuckle...no pushing it to get it down my finger. It slid on with ease. I stared at my hand in shock. The ring was back on my hand and it moved freely on my ring finger. In fact it slid around my finger. I was amazed. I didn't think I would ever wear it again. I have worn it everyday this week....like a medal. I know it is not huge to anyone else but it is so significant to me.
What a week......wearing a Christmas bracelet and pin......and sporting a forgotten ring that has given me the push I needed to continue. Next .....it is time change the necklace......in 3 weeks I will make that step and I bet the world will not stop because of that change........
Another New Year resolution......wear some different necklaces.
Anyway back to the little changes I seek. While I was walking on the wild side with a the Christmas bracelet and pin.....I came across a ring I used to wear. It is a simple white gold ring with 2 rows of tiny diamonds. I loved the ring when I got it almost 20 years ago. I stopped wearing it years ago because it had gotten too tight and it was a struggle to get it on and off my hand each day. You would have thought I would have taken it as a sign that I needed to focus on my weight. But at that point in my life it was easier to just to remove the offending item and ignore what was going on.
On an impulse, I tried the ring on.....and it fit. No struggle to get it past my knuckle...no pushing it to get it down my finger. It slid on with ease. I stared at my hand in shock. The ring was back on my hand and it moved freely on my ring finger. In fact it slid around my finger. I was amazed. I didn't think I would ever wear it again. I have worn it everyday this week....like a medal. I know it is not huge to anyone else but it is so significant to me.
What a week......wearing a Christmas bracelet and pin......and sporting a forgotten ring that has given me the push I needed to continue. Next .....it is time change the necklace......in 3 weeks I will make that step and I bet the world will not stop because of that change........
Sunday, December 4, 2011
New Year's Resolutions
It is only a week after Thanksgiving and I am already thinking about New Year's resolutions..... maybe it is the guilt......I have been so busy at work and getting ready for the holiday's that I haven't been to the gym as much as I normally do. I am getting there are often as I can but not my usual 4-5 times a week. Once we get to January......it is back in the routine.
Resolution #1: nothing should get in my way of the gym at least 4 times a week
Resolution #2: Work more on my Italian lessons. I have the books .....I need to use them.
Resolution #3: Keep up the healthy eating and only eating when I am hungry. (I have been good about this one even now).
Resolution #4: Spend more time with friends and family laughing.....the laughter is the important part.
Not an overly ambitious list so far. I will be adding to the list as I get closer to January 1st.
So far the overlying theme has been.....health, happiness, laughter and love.....not so bad......if that is all I accomplish next year......well then 2012 will be a banner year!!!
Resolution #1: nothing should get in my way of the gym at least 4 times a week
Resolution #2: Work more on my Italian lessons. I have the books .....I need to use them.
Resolution #3: Keep up the healthy eating and only eating when I am hungry. (I have been good about this one even now).
Resolution #4: Spend more time with friends and family laughing.....the laughter is the important part.
Not an overly ambitious list so far. I will be adding to the list as I get closer to January 1st.
So far the overlying theme has been.....health, happiness, laughter and love.....not so bad......if that is all I accomplish next year......well then 2012 will be a banner year!!!
The First Gift Returns of the Season
This might be a record......I have already returned gifts I bought. Having a large team at work had me thinking......I needed to plan early to I could get each person a nice gift without going broke. On Black Friday, I took care of it.....or so I thought. Last Friday, I found out that we aren't allowed to give out gifts to the team. Management feels it isn't fair because what if some manager's don't give their teams gifts....
I am not going to say what the gift was because I might be able to use it on another occasion. Meanwhile, I did find out there is a Christmas breakfast at the office on December 20th. The manager's make and serve breakfast to the employees. I am good with that but I also need to wear a Santa hat.......I think I have made it pretty clear I have an issue with my hair. Do you have any idea what my hair will look like after being under a Santa hat for a few hours??? So in order to avoid a hair problem I will need to go hunting for one of those headbands with reindeer antlers or something equally foolish so I can preserve the beauty of my hair.....at least this way I won't have to have hat head for the whole day.......
Did I mention I will need to be at the office at 5:00 AM....yes I said 5:00 AM......that means I will have to get up at 3:30AM!!!!
I will let you know what headgear I decide to sport that day.......I am sure it will be just stunning........and unfortunately.....I am sure this will be photo op for the company newsletter.......fa la la la la la la la la
I am not going to say what the gift was because I might be able to use it on another occasion. Meanwhile, I did find out there is a Christmas breakfast at the office on December 20th. The manager's make and serve breakfast to the employees. I am good with that but I also need to wear a Santa hat.......I think I have made it pretty clear I have an issue with my hair. Do you have any idea what my hair will look like after being under a Santa hat for a few hours??? So in order to avoid a hair problem I will need to go hunting for one of those headbands with reindeer antlers or something equally foolish so I can preserve the beauty of my hair.....at least this way I won't have to have hat head for the whole day.......
Did I mention I will need to be at the office at 5:00 AM....yes I said 5:00 AM......that means I will have to get up at 3:30AM!!!!
I will let you know what headgear I decide to sport that day.......I am sure it will be just stunning........and unfortunately.....I am sure this will be photo op for the company newsletter.......fa la la la la la la la la
Still Looking For Christmas
OK I am on week 3 of looking for Christmas......I love looking at the tree. I like seeing the house lit up. I listen to the Christmas music on the radio. But I am still searching for the feeling.......
I hope that I will find it somewhere......maybe it will hit when I least expect it. Maybe Santa will leave me some little surpise.....I hope he does. Last year was special because my Mom was here. We were lucky to have her with us. Jenn took out the angels Mom made us last year. They are beautiful. It is so special to have them sitting on the front table watching over us.
Jenn says I am making her crazy because I am not making gift suggestions.......there is not a lot I want that can be put in a box under the tree. The things I want are not material......they are more emotional or spiritual. The feelings of Christmas....the magic.....the belief that anything is possible....am I expecting too much?? Believe......believe in what??? I believe there are still things that happen at Christmas that are unexplainable......
I will keep searching......I know the magic is out there somewhere.....
I hope that I will find it somewhere......maybe it will hit when I least expect it. Maybe Santa will leave me some little surpise.....I hope he does. Last year was special because my Mom was here. We were lucky to have her with us. Jenn took out the angels Mom made us last year. They are beautiful. It is so special to have them sitting on the front table watching over us.
Jenn says I am making her crazy because I am not making gift suggestions.......there is not a lot I want that can be put in a box under the tree. The things I want are not material......they are more emotional or spiritual. The feelings of Christmas....the magic.....the belief that anything is possible....am I expecting too much?? Believe......believe in what??? I believe there are still things that happen at Christmas that are unexplainable......
I will keep searching......I know the magic is out there somewhere.....
How Can It Be Sunday Night Again???
It seems like every time I turn around the week-end is over. How can those 2 days go so fast? Well this week-end I did work Saturday so that might explain why Sunday got here so fast. When I work Saturday then Sunday is like one big blur add to it the holidays and well you get the picture......
I have to say this year we are more on track than other years. The tree is up and decorated. The outside of the house is decorated too. Any gift we have bought has been wrapped (thank you Jenn). Next weekend is baking. We have to figure out quantities and which cookies to make. We will be making some of the old reliables and trying some new ones too.
I might even be able writing a Christmas card or two this week.......maybe......last year I never sent a card.
Well here I am ready to face a new week.....clothes ready check......lunch made check.....gas in the car check......well rested and ready to go.......not so much....
I have to say this year we are more on track than other years. The tree is up and decorated. The outside of the house is decorated too. Any gift we have bought has been wrapped (thank you Jenn). Next weekend is baking. We have to figure out quantities and which cookies to make. We will be making some of the old reliables and trying some new ones too.
I might even be able writing a Christmas card or two this week.......maybe......last year I never sent a card.
Well here I am ready to face a new week.....clothes ready check......lunch made check.....gas in the car check......well rested and ready to go.......not so much....
Monday, November 28, 2011
The I-Phone vs. The Blackberry
I am technologically challenged......up until 2 years ago my cell phone looked like something out of the dark ages. I never sent texts or pictures to anyone. Now, I text all the time (not while driving of course) and do send photo's. During the summer Jenn encouraged me to take the next step......I got an I-phone. Just a few months later I can say "I love my I-Phone". I love the app's, I love being able to search out info while I am away from home and all the other bells and whistles that come with the phone. When I started my new job in August, they gave me a Blackberry. I can access my office e-mails on it. That is as much as I can do on it.....
To think the girl who could barely handle a cell phone now has an I-Phone and a Blackberry in her pocketbook is scary.
The Blackberry goes off each time I get an e-mail. When I am off from work and I hear it vibrate.....in my head I think.....should I read it or ignore it? My solution was to plug it in to recharge in the kitchen so I don't hear it all the time. Just during the time I have been sitting hear writing these blog entries it has vibrated several times. I will probably breakdown and log onto my work laptop to see what is out there in my e-mails. This would probably be a good idea since that would save me time in the morning when I return to work. I would have to spend the first 2-3 hours of my day looking at e-mails.
Another stress reducer......uh no....there it goes again.....
To think the girl who could barely handle a cell phone now has an I-Phone and a Blackberry in her pocketbook is scary.
The Blackberry goes off each time I get an e-mail. When I am off from work and I hear it vibrate.....in my head I think.....should I read it or ignore it? My solution was to plug it in to recharge in the kitchen so I don't hear it all the time. Just during the time I have been sitting hear writing these blog entries it has vibrated several times. I will probably breakdown and log onto my work laptop to see what is out there in my e-mails. This would probably be a good idea since that would save me time in the morning when I return to work. I would have to spend the first 2-3 hours of my day looking at e-mails.
Another stress reducer......uh no....there it goes again.....
Back to the gym......finally
Between the craziness of this time of year and being so busy at work.....my time at the gym has suffered. The good news is......I felt guilty about not being there. Never felt bad about not exercising before.....hey that is progress.
Today, I did get back to the gym. I jogged in the pool for about 45 minutes and did 1000 kicks hanging on the side of the pool. How do I know I did 1000 kicks......I counted each and every one of them. It felt good to work out again. And while I was doing my 45 minute jog, I was planning for the next year. I create stress for myself all the time. I have to be here at this time, I have to get this done before I can do something else, the office will collapse between the time I leave the office, hit the gym and get home (where I can log back into the office on my laptop). How important do I think I am? I can leave work at 5:00 on Tuesday and Thursday, go to the gym and log back on my laptop around 7:30 to see if I have missed anything earth shattering.....
In order to have less stress in my life for the month of December, I will get to the gym as often as I can. I will not make myself crazy about it if something comes up and I cannot go. January 2nd I can get back into my regular routine. 4-5 times a week at the gym for an hour each time. I will work out with my trainer 1-2 times a week. If I only meet with her once during the week then I will get on the elliptical at least once a week and then get in the pool 2 times a week.
I will watch what I eat through the new year. I am no saint but I will be very aware of what I put in my mouth. I would still like to be down on the scale January 1st and am keeping that goal in the forefront.
There are times when I have left stress and guilt overwhelm me.....not any more.....at least I am going try not to let it consume me......life is too short and I would prefer to enjoy as much of it as I can.......
See I have taken the first step in the stress relief plan......I already have some of my New Year resolutions figure out......
Today, I did get back to the gym. I jogged in the pool for about 45 minutes and did 1000 kicks hanging on the side of the pool. How do I know I did 1000 kicks......I counted each and every one of them. It felt good to work out again. And while I was doing my 45 minute jog, I was planning for the next year. I create stress for myself all the time. I have to be here at this time, I have to get this done before I can do something else, the office will collapse between the time I leave the office, hit the gym and get home (where I can log back into the office on my laptop). How important do I think I am? I can leave work at 5:00 on Tuesday and Thursday, go to the gym and log back on my laptop around 7:30 to see if I have missed anything earth shattering.....
In order to have less stress in my life for the month of December, I will get to the gym as often as I can. I will not make myself crazy about it if something comes up and I cannot go. January 2nd I can get back into my regular routine. 4-5 times a week at the gym for an hour each time. I will work out with my trainer 1-2 times a week. If I only meet with her once during the week then I will get on the elliptical at least once a week and then get in the pool 2 times a week.
I will watch what I eat through the new year. I am no saint but I will be very aware of what I put in my mouth. I would still like to be down on the scale January 1st and am keeping that goal in the forefront.
There are times when I have left stress and guilt overwhelm me.....not any more.....at least I am going try not to let it consume me......life is too short and I would prefer to enjoy as much of it as I can.......
See I have taken the first step in the stress relief plan......I already have some of my New Year resolutions figure out......
Decorating for the holiday
My mission was to go back to work on the 29th and all the decorating would be done both inside and out. I always forget what a job it can be to put up the tree, the inside decorations and the outside decorations.
We started on Saturday with the tree. I pulled the tree out of the storage box (I know, I know I do not have a real tree)at 11AM. Due to a series of events, we did not finish the bulk of the inside decorating until 11PM. First, we sorted through what we had......did I still need 2 tree stands for a live tree....no. How many candle holders do I need.....not 10 different kinds. What buildings do I want under the tree. Why do I have ton of tree needles on the floor from an artificial tree??? Time to sweep the floor. All that I have left to do inside is switching out the plate rack, decorate the small tree for the front window and get the ornaments on the big tree. One thing we did that made me happy was the tree topper. Last year, it never made it on the tree. This year we attached it to the top of the tree before we put the top of the tree in place. It is nice to see the star in the place it belongs. So we are in really decent shape as far as the inside goes. Less than another 30 minutes and we should be good.
Sunday, we decorated the outside of the house. Between Jenn and I it didn't take too long. We only have to hang out the Christmas flag and attach the big candy canes to the shutters and we are done outside.
I will be going back to work with just about all the decorating complete.
Next....on to the cookie baking and writing the cards. OK there are no short cuts to the cookies.......but can I just send e-mails and texts for holiday wishes?????
Everyone please keep your phones turned on or you might not get a Merry Christmas wish from me......
We started on Saturday with the tree. I pulled the tree out of the storage box (I know, I know I do not have a real tree)at 11AM. Due to a series of events, we did not finish the bulk of the inside decorating until 11PM. First, we sorted through what we had......did I still need 2 tree stands for a live tree....no. How many candle holders do I need.....not 10 different kinds. What buildings do I want under the tree. Why do I have ton of tree needles on the floor from an artificial tree??? Time to sweep the floor. All that I have left to do inside is switching out the plate rack, decorate the small tree for the front window and get the ornaments on the big tree. One thing we did that made me happy was the tree topper. Last year, it never made it on the tree. This year we attached it to the top of the tree before we put the top of the tree in place. It is nice to see the star in the place it belongs. So we are in really decent shape as far as the inside goes. Less than another 30 minutes and we should be good.
Sunday, we decorated the outside of the house. Between Jenn and I it didn't take too long. We only have to hang out the Christmas flag and attach the big candy canes to the shutters and we are done outside.
I will be going back to work with just about all the decorating complete.
Next....on to the cookie baking and writing the cards. OK there are no short cuts to the cookies.......but can I just send e-mails and texts for holiday wishes?????
Everyone please keep your phones turned on or you might not get a Merry Christmas wish from me......
Black Friday
In order to get up and out early I knew I would need a nap. So at 7:45PM Thanksgiving night I took a nap until about 10:00. Then I went to bed at 11:00 and got up at 4:00. Showered, makeup and hair done. We were out of the house by 4:30AM.....yes AM. This year we used a different strategy......not that we planned it that way but it worked and will be the way we shop they day after Thanksgiving from now on.
Rule #1: Divide your store flyer's into 2 piles- 1 pile is I have no interest at all and the other is I need to take a second look at this one.
Rule #2: Look carefully through the these need a second look pile. Do you really need it or are you just getting caught up the the pre-holiday shopping craze.
Rule #3: We didn't look for any big ticket items.
Rule #4: Since we were following rule number 3 we didn't have to be there when the store opened we showed up 1/2 hour after a store opened. The crowds were already gone and we didn't fight crowds.
We were done by 10:30. The presents were wrapped by noon and we were able to relax. Now it is cyber Monday......yes I will be shopping again but at least I can get to rest and not have to rush to get from one place to the next. Next big shopping day will be December 26th.....yes I go to the after Christmas sales too!!!
Rule #1: Divide your store flyer's into 2 piles- 1 pile is I have no interest at all and the other is I need to take a second look at this one.
Rule #2: Look carefully through the these need a second look pile. Do you really need it or are you just getting caught up the the pre-holiday shopping craze.
Rule #3: We didn't look for any big ticket items.
Rule #4: Since we were following rule number 3 we didn't have to be there when the store opened we showed up 1/2 hour after a store opened. The crowds were already gone and we didn't fight crowds.
We were done by 10:30. The presents were wrapped by noon and we were able to relax. Now it is cyber Monday......yes I will be shopping again but at least I can get to rest and not have to rush to get from one place to the next. Next big shopping day will be December 26th.....yes I go to the after Christmas sales too!!!
Sunday, November 20, 2011
What Do You Mean The Macy's Parade Is Not For Me???
I was born on Thanksgiving. I weighed 10 pounds 4 ounces (no it is not true that Weight Watchers sent a lecturer to see me in the nursery!!!). As my Mom says, I had dark hair that stood straight up (I had hair issues even then) and a bright red birthmark on my forehead between my eyes. Since I was born in the middle of the night in a Catholic Hospital in the 1950's the nuns who ran the show told my dad he could come back and see me for the first time the next day during visiting hours. It was probably a good thing.....I bet I looked a little better in daylight.
I loved the years my birthday fell on Thanksgiving. I always thought the Macy's Parade was to celebrate me......talk about being stuck on myself!!!! It was fun to have the family together for those Thanksgiving birthdays. I hated those long spans when leap year meant my birthday went from the day before Thanksgiving to the day after Thanksgiving.
So here I am just a few days from another Thanksgiving birthday. The birthmark has faded over the years (it used to get brighter red when I would get mad) but I can still see it some times when I put on my makeup, the hair no longer stands straight up (now I battle to make it look fuller which as you all know is a story in itself) and the weight......oh the weight......now I would be happy to lose my birth weight by the New Year.
Well, say what you want.......I know when they say at 9:00 Thursday morning "Let's have a parade!!"....it is really for me.....
I loved the years my birthday fell on Thanksgiving. I always thought the Macy's Parade was to celebrate me......talk about being stuck on myself!!!! It was fun to have the family together for those Thanksgiving birthdays. I hated those long spans when leap year meant my birthday went from the day before Thanksgiving to the day after Thanksgiving.
So here I am just a few days from another Thanksgiving birthday. The birthmark has faded over the years (it used to get brighter red when I would get mad) but I can still see it some times when I put on my makeup, the hair no longer stands straight up (now I battle to make it look fuller which as you all know is a story in itself) and the weight......oh the weight......now I would be happy to lose my birth weight by the New Year.
Well, say what you want.......I know when they say at 9:00 Thursday morning "Let's have a parade!!"....it is really for me.....
How did I get to 50+.....
In my head I am still 21.......unfortunately no one told my body. My hands have wrinkles, my face has some lines and yes that is definitely grey in my hair. I am hoping my exercising will hold off some of the plans Father Time has for me. I have a knee that has been bothering me for years. I don't expect that pain to go away. But it is nothing I can't deal with.......I do feel the need to explain to someone why I walk down the stairs slowly......why do I feel a need to explain....because I do not want them to feel it is because of my weight......so there I am explaining about how I fell and the doctor said I had caused permanent nerve damage to the knee and it is loaded with arthritis......like anyone really cares. I do the explaining so I hope to not stand out.
When you remember events that took place 40 years ago .....oh be honest 45 and sometimes more years ago...it gets me thinking.......where did the time go......I remember all I ever wanted to be was 18. For me 18 was a great age, I was in college, worked a job that paid enough money for jeans, gas for my pinto, nights out with my friends (yes this involved drinking but remember back then 18 was legal) and as much as I hate to say it enough money for my cigarettes (ok but I haven't had one in almost 25 years)....
Funny how things change....no cigarettes, no pinto, not as many nights out with my friends (not as many as I would like)......
I do feel lucky......since I started to focus on me......I feel healthier than I have in years.....except for the knee not real aches and pains.....I consider the gym a necessity and a pedicure a must......
This year has been filled with adventures.....weddings, births and new job and finding out about the things I can do on my own......see I am still learning at 50+.
I can't wait to see what I learn next.....in this second chapter of my life.....
When you remember events that took place 40 years ago .....oh be honest 45 and sometimes more years ago...it gets me thinking.......where did the time go......I remember all I ever wanted to be was 18. For me 18 was a great age, I was in college, worked a job that paid enough money for jeans, gas for my pinto, nights out with my friends (yes this involved drinking but remember back then 18 was legal) and as much as I hate to say it enough money for my cigarettes (ok but I haven't had one in almost 25 years)....
Funny how things change....no cigarettes, no pinto, not as many nights out with my friends (not as many as I would like)......
I do feel lucky......since I started to focus on me......I feel healthier than I have in years.....except for the knee not real aches and pains.....I consider the gym a necessity and a pedicure a must......
This year has been filled with adventures.....weddings, births and new job and finding out about the things I can do on my own......see I am still learning at 50+.
I can't wait to see what I learn next.....in this second chapter of my life.....
Twas the week before Thanksgiving
Like many people across the nation, I will be up early Thursday watching Macy's Parade. It makes me chuckle when people say to me "You have really been to the parade?" Been to that parade.....LOL.....let me count the number of times. Some years warm....some years freezing cold. With my Dad, we always stood up near where the parade began so as soon as Santa went by we raced to the car. My Dad's goal was to be back in our apartment by the time Santa made it across the finish line in front of Macy's on TV. Most years we made it....LOL.
There was also the year when as adults we took all our kids to the parade and it was my birthday. My family had the crowd around us join in a booming rendition of Happy Birthday while we waited for the parade to start. And yes, we have it on video.....that was a memorable event.....standing in the middle of NYC with a crowd of strangers singing to me.
Some years we would go downtown the night before Thanksgiving and see the balloons being blown up under huge nets. It was usually on that night I would have my first bag of roasted chestnut for the season......yum roasted chestnuts and yes they were cooking over an open fire.....
There are times when I miss being away from my family more than others....Thanksgiving and Christmas are certainly on top the list. It is a shame I took it so for granted when we lived within minutes of each other and would gather for anything from birthday cake to a football game.
This week as I add another candle to my birthday cake.....instead of making a wish.....I will do what so many others will be doing that day........giving thanks....for the wonderful people around me.......some in the same room and some miles away......each has added something to my life.......what better birthday present is there......and that gives me a lot to be thankful for......Amen.
There was also the year when as adults we took all our kids to the parade and it was my birthday. My family had the crowd around us join in a booming rendition of Happy Birthday while we waited for the parade to start. And yes, we have it on video.....that was a memorable event.....standing in the middle of NYC with a crowd of strangers singing to me.
Some years we would go downtown the night before Thanksgiving and see the balloons being blown up under huge nets. It was usually on that night I would have my first bag of roasted chestnut for the season......yum roasted chestnuts and yes they were cooking over an open fire.....
There are times when I miss being away from my family more than others....Thanksgiving and Christmas are certainly on top the list. It is a shame I took it so for granted when we lived within minutes of each other and would gather for anything from birthday cake to a football game.
This week as I add another candle to my birthday cake.....instead of making a wish.....I will do what so many others will be doing that day........giving thanks....for the wonderful people around me.......some in the same room and some miles away......each has added something to my life.......what better birthday present is there......and that gives me a lot to be thankful for......Amen.
Still Not Feeling Christmas
Last week I started looking for Christmas.....a week later and I still haven't found it. Maybe I am letting the outside world influence my inner joy. I wish I could move into one of those Hallmark movies for a week and just let the Christmas feelings take me over. Or maybe I could book myself into Bedford Falls for a week.I want to feel the magic......is that so bad?
I would like to spend some time with family and friends.....just reminiscing and laughing. I want to enjoy the hustle and bustle and not look at it as a chore. I even made the big decision to not go out early Black Friday UNLESS I find some gift I must get for someone. I enjoy going out in the crowds on Black Friday......there is something fun about it. I have been listening to a radio station that plays continuous Christmas music. I have heard my favorite Christmas song (Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas) a few times and it makes me happy and sad at the same time. The song is very wistful......
Jenn asked me what I wanted for Christmas and there was nothing that I wanted that I couldn't live without. I mean I can always come up with something I want but nothing that I have been drooling for.
We talked about what cookies we should make to bring to work. We have discussed what kind of gifts to give my team at the office.
Maybe once the tree goes up next week.......it will happen.......Christmas. Maybe I have watched too many Hallmark movies and am looking for something that doesn't exist....
I will keep searching......I know Christmas is out there somewhere......I just have to find it......
I would like to spend some time with family and friends.....just reminiscing and laughing. I want to enjoy the hustle and bustle and not look at it as a chore. I even made the big decision to not go out early Black Friday UNLESS I find some gift I must get for someone. I enjoy going out in the crowds on Black Friday......there is something fun about it. I have been listening to a radio station that plays continuous Christmas music. I have heard my favorite Christmas song (Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas) a few times and it makes me happy and sad at the same time. The song is very wistful......
Jenn asked me what I wanted for Christmas and there was nothing that I wanted that I couldn't live without. I mean I can always come up with something I want but nothing that I have been drooling for.
We talked about what cookies we should make to bring to work. We have discussed what kind of gifts to give my team at the office.
Maybe once the tree goes up next week.......it will happen.......Christmas. Maybe I have watched too many Hallmark movies and am looking for something that doesn't exist....
I will keep searching......I know Christmas is out there somewhere......I just have to find it......
Saturday, November 12, 2011
Is This Blog Self-Serving? Is It Too Much???
Someone mocked my blog this week. It hurt a lot for someone to say.....how many entries will there be in the All About Donna blog? In an ugly moment they asked if their comments to me would make it onto my blog. It hurt me deeply and made me question the purpose of writing every week. In the sarcasm of the facebook message, they stated "how many entries will there be in the All About Donna blog this week....50???"
This whole communication got me thinking.
I started this blog for me. At the suggestion of my trainer. I found it to be a good outlet for what I was experiencing and learning about myself. I found it therapeutic. It was never my intent to use it to boast. It was to celebrate my small victories and keep a record of where I have been and where I am heading. I started by sharing it with a very few select people, then I expanded my audience slowly and carefully......finally I decided to make the leap and let people know on facebook that I was writing a blog for them to read.
Up until this week, I have never gotten anything but positive feedback. I have been complimented for my honesty, sense of humor and for trying to stick with it even when I wanted to give up. I have had people share with me the entries that made them laugh and the ones that gave them encouragement. It is not easy to put your darkest moments out there for all to read but I felt it wouldn't be an honest blog unless I posted about the dark moments too. Along the way this blog has evolved not only into a weekly dairy about my quest to lose weight, eat healthy and get healthy......it has given me the opportunity to write about the things I love, the things I dislike (don't want to say hate) and anything else that pops into my head. I have never forced anyone to read it or to become a follower of this blog. I have appreciated those of you who have read and those of you who have provided me with feedback. Thank you!!!
The person who put me down this week has made it into a blog entry.....they will remain nameless (but I will say this.....for once it was not Bob).
Now I am asking you.....my trusted friends, relatives and readers.....am I still on the right track......was the sarcasm directed at me true.......has my writing gotten to be too much? I would love your thoughts......
Just one more thing......none of the feedback good or bad will cause me to stop my weekly entries.....LOL......did you think it would?? Maybe when I first started writing it might have made a difference but now I am not the same person I was back then.....
This whole communication got me thinking.
I started this blog for me. At the suggestion of my trainer. I found it to be a good outlet for what I was experiencing and learning about myself. I found it therapeutic. It was never my intent to use it to boast. It was to celebrate my small victories and keep a record of where I have been and where I am heading. I started by sharing it with a very few select people, then I expanded my audience slowly and carefully......finally I decided to make the leap and let people know on facebook that I was writing a blog for them to read.
Up until this week, I have never gotten anything but positive feedback. I have been complimented for my honesty, sense of humor and for trying to stick with it even when I wanted to give up. I have had people share with me the entries that made them laugh and the ones that gave them encouragement. It is not easy to put your darkest moments out there for all to read but I felt it wouldn't be an honest blog unless I posted about the dark moments too. Along the way this blog has evolved not only into a weekly dairy about my quest to lose weight, eat healthy and get healthy......it has given me the opportunity to write about the things I love, the things I dislike (don't want to say hate) and anything else that pops into my head. I have never forced anyone to read it or to become a follower of this blog. I have appreciated those of you who have read and those of you who have provided me with feedback. Thank you!!!
The person who put me down this week has made it into a blog entry.....they will remain nameless (but I will say this.....for once it was not Bob).
Now I am asking you.....my trusted friends, relatives and readers.....am I still on the right track......was the sarcasm directed at me true.......has my writing gotten to be too much? I would love your thoughts......
Just one more thing......none of the feedback good or bad will cause me to stop my weekly entries.....LOL......did you think it would?? Maybe when I first started writing it might have made a difference but now I am not the same person I was back then.....
Where Are You Christmas
I went into Walmart last night. As soon as I walked in the store....there is was.....a Christmas tree. It was decorated ......not the way I would but it still looked OK. I know it is a little early but I still look for those small moments when I start to feel Christmasy. I have been watching some Christmas movies on the Hallmark Channel and yes I have to admit I have listened to one or two Christmas songs on my IPOD (I have a few that I keep on my IPOD all year round the rest will be loaded on within a few weeks).
I can't wait for that feeling.......the one where you still feel like anything is possible. The magic of the Christmas season. I still believe in Santa and think he knows what I want each year. I love everything about the season......the way people treat each other, the music, the movies, the gift wrap, the foods.......I can put myself into Christmas overload in no time.
I will make sure I get to the gym and I will definitely watch what I eat. But that doesn't mean I can't enjoy the magic.....
OK maybe I am rushing trying to find Christmas when the Thanksgiving turkey hasn't even been carved yet. But in less than 2 weeks.....all systems are go......Jenn and I have already planned when we are going to decorate, we have discussed what cookies to make and there is always the do we get up for Black Friday or not conversation.
T-minus 12 days......I am so ready.......so come on Christmas.......I am right here waiting for you!!!!
I can't wait for that feeling.......the one where you still feel like anything is possible. The magic of the Christmas season. I still believe in Santa and think he knows what I want each year. I love everything about the season......the way people treat each other, the music, the movies, the gift wrap, the foods.......I can put myself into Christmas overload in no time.
I will make sure I get to the gym and I will definitely watch what I eat. But that doesn't mean I can't enjoy the magic.....
OK maybe I am rushing trying to find Christmas when the Thanksgiving turkey hasn't even been carved yet. But in less than 2 weeks.....all systems are go......Jenn and I have already planned when we are going to decorate, we have discussed what cookies to make and there is always the do we get up for Black Friday or not conversation.
T-minus 12 days......I am so ready.......so come on Christmas.......I am right here waiting for you!!!!
My Hair .....the saga continues
There was a time I would get up in the morning, wash my hair, dry it and go. Now I wash it, put it in curlers, later I then blow dry it, put some stuff called thick or volumizer in it and then use a curling iron. Then there is the brush out and hair spray. All of this to make it look like I have more hair than I do. It takes a lot of time in the morning but the final product does make me feel better. Even I can't believe I spend as much time as I do every single day to make me more comfortable with the thinness of my hair.
So I spend a lot of time in the morning making my hair look thick. Then I spend a lot of time at the end of the day trying to make my body look thin. Am I a mess or what.......never mind don't answer that.......I think I already know.....
So I spend a lot of time in the morning making my hair look thick. Then I spend a lot of time at the end of the day trying to make my body look thin. Am I a mess or what.......never mind don't answer that.......I think I already know.....
Favorite Smells
Today, Jenn made sauce. The smell alone made you want to eat pasta. In a few weeks it will be the smell of pine and evergreen that will take front and center in our house. While we do not get a real tree we do get a real wreath. It hangs on our front door inside the storm door. The nice part is when you get ready to walk through the front door you open the storm door and it hits you.....that wonderful smell of Christmas. We also have Yankee Candles that are called Christmas Wreath.....we burn them from Thanksgiving Day until New Year's Day. It fills the house with an aroma that puts you back to being a kid waiting for December 25th. The smell of cookies baking sends me the our 5th floor walk-up on 153rd Street in the Bronx. I am suddenly transformed in time where I was maybe 6 or 7. I remember sitting on the kitchen table "helping" my mother make cookies and all of a sudden my brother and Dad come through the door with our Christmas tree in tow.
It is amazing how smells can transport you anywhere in time........I eat sushi.....I am in my grandmother's kitchen eating it fresh as she makes it. I smell bayberry candles burning.....I am off to another Christmas where my brother's boy scout troop sold them as part of a fund raiser. I smell a burger or steak on the grill......it is a summer cook out or an afternoon at a friends house by the pool. I smell a fireplace burning.....it is a family gathering in the fall or the holidays. The smell of an outdoor fire can send me to one of the many stops we made on our last family vacation as a kid when we traveled across the country camping all the way.
I don't need a transporter like on Star Trek to move through time......I just the smell of something from my past and I am there.....
It is amazing how smells can transport you anywhere in time........I eat sushi.....I am in my grandmother's kitchen eating it fresh as she makes it. I smell bayberry candles burning.....I am off to another Christmas where my brother's boy scout troop sold them as part of a fund raiser. I smell a burger or steak on the grill......it is a summer cook out or an afternoon at a friends house by the pool. I smell a fireplace burning.....it is a family gathering in the fall or the holidays. The smell of an outdoor fire can send me to one of the many stops we made on our last family vacation as a kid when we traveled across the country camping all the way.
I don't need a transporter like on Star Trek to move through time......I just the smell of something from my past and I am there.....
Monday, November 7, 2011
I Ate Half A Sandwich For Lunch
This week Jenn and I took a few days off to play. On Monday, we met Mary for lunch at DePrato's. I ordered a Turkey Reuben and it was delicious. It came with a pickle and an eye dropper filled with potato salad. We did have some pita chips with pimento cheese spread. But I still did something I haven't done in ages......I asked for a to go box. I only ate half my sandwich and we still had pita chips and pimento cheese left. Instead of feeling the need to finish any of it I packed it up and took it home. In my previous life, I always felt the need to finish what was placed in front of me.....not any more.
Later in the week, we threw away the pita chips. The pimento cheese is still in the fridge. The half a sandwich.....I had it for lunch yesterday. Quantity is not as important as it used to be.....quality is. I never thought I would get to a point where I would eat 1/2 a sandwich and be OK with it. But I am now at that point.....good for me.
Later in the week, we threw away the pita chips. The pimento cheese is still in the fridge. The half a sandwich.....I had it for lunch yesterday. Quantity is not as important as it used to be.....quality is. I never thought I would get to a point where I would eat 1/2 a sandwich and be OK with it. But I am now at that point.....good for me.
The Dog Fit On My Lap
A lap....the definition is the space created on your legs when you sit down. A lap is something most people have that they don't even think about. I have not had much of a lap for a long time. This week I found out that had changed......
Jenn and I stopped at a friend's house this week. They have a dog who loves to sit on every one's lap. Until this week this was not an option for me.......I didn't even know it was an option now. But while I sat and chatted with my daughter and friend all of a sudden........there was the dog up on my lap. Now I am not saying she was able to lay out full length and stretch but she was able to get up and sit. I held her and petted her. Then she was gone..... off to seek new attention from someone else. She did come back and sat on my lap again before we left.
Now this is not a great big dog but she is not a small dog either. She is a medium size dog. I know it doesn't seem like a big thing to have a dog sit on your lap but when you haven't had the room for this to happen.....it is something that jumps out at you after it happens. A small vistory.....
Jenn and I stopped at a friend's house this week. They have a dog who loves to sit on every one's lap. Until this week this was not an option for me.......I didn't even know it was an option now. But while I sat and chatted with my daughter and friend all of a sudden........there was the dog up on my lap. Now I am not saying she was able to lay out full length and stretch but she was able to get up and sit. I held her and petted her. Then she was gone..... off to seek new attention from someone else. She did come back and sat on my lap again before we left.
Now this is not a great big dog but she is not a small dog either. She is a medium size dog. I know it doesn't seem like a big thing to have a dog sit on your lap but when you haven't had the room for this to happen.....it is something that jumps out at you after it happens. A small vistory.....
Sunday, November 6, 2011
Venice and The Beach
I love the beach. I dream of living on the ocean. No house a few blocks from the ocean will work for me. I want beachfront property. Hey I can dream big can't I?? I also love Italy. I dream of going there someday.
Today.....after much harassment from my daughter.....we finally hung up some pictures in the 3rd bedroom.....unofficially called Donna's Place. I have a lot of my "stuff" in there. Books, computer, pictures, etc.....
We hung 3 beach pictures and one poster of Venice. I already had a New York Subway map on another wall. The pictures on the walls are so me....
The New Yorker......the subway map has my entire life on it. The subway map side has all the places I would travel to until I was in high school. The other side of the map has the trains from Pearl River to NYC......the places I traveled to after college until I got married. Then back to the subway map for the few years we lived in Yonkers before buying our first house back in Pearl River. Until I moved to SC I hadn't lived more than 20 miles from the place I was born.
The beach lover......the sound of the ocean is so soothing to me. Seeing the sunrise over the ocean is a sight hard to top. A beach house with weather worn furntiure and a screened in porch where you can sit at night and smell the ocean.....perfection. Oh but of course I would need a pool too!!
The Italian........Venice, Rome, Pisa just to name a few of the places I would love to see. I still believe it will happen.....someday. The poster framed and hung on the wall is my reminder. I will go there.....I will really....
But for now......I can sit on the comfy chair and a half, grab my kindle and turn on my IPOD and in my mind I am there.....sitting on a bench in Central Park, sitting on a rocking chair on the porch of my beach house or sitting in a cafe having a glass of wine in Rome.....
While I am sitting in Donna's Place.....I can be anywhere I want anytime.....
Today.....after much harassment from my daughter.....we finally hung up some pictures in the 3rd bedroom.....unofficially called Donna's Place. I have a lot of my "stuff" in there. Books, computer, pictures, etc.....
We hung 3 beach pictures and one poster of Venice. I already had a New York Subway map on another wall. The pictures on the walls are so me....
The New Yorker......the subway map has my entire life on it. The subway map side has all the places I would travel to until I was in high school. The other side of the map has the trains from Pearl River to NYC......the places I traveled to after college until I got married. Then back to the subway map for the few years we lived in Yonkers before buying our first house back in Pearl River. Until I moved to SC I hadn't lived more than 20 miles from the place I was born.
The beach lover......the sound of the ocean is so soothing to me. Seeing the sunrise over the ocean is a sight hard to top. A beach house with weather worn furntiure and a screened in porch where you can sit at night and smell the ocean.....perfection. Oh but of course I would need a pool too!!
The Italian........Venice, Rome, Pisa just to name a few of the places I would love to see. I still believe it will happen.....someday. The poster framed and hung on the wall is my reminder. I will go there.....I will really....
But for now......I can sit on the comfy chair and a half, grab my kindle and turn on my IPOD and in my mind I am there.....sitting on a bench in Central Park, sitting on a rocking chair on the porch of my beach house or sitting in a cafe having a glass of wine in Rome.....
While I am sitting in Donna's Place.....I can be anywhere I want anytime.....
Daylight Savings Time
I always have hard time adjusting to the shorter amount of daylight. I hate leaving the office in the dark or going to the gym ....in the dark. I love the fall and the winter and the cool weather it brings but the short days.....not so much.
The short days made driving to NY difficult. You leave SC in the dark and get to NY in the dark......uugghh.
But there is something nice about seeing lights on in houses on the way home from work. Of course in my mind each house has a perfect family inside all sitting down to a great dinner together. Not like in my house where by the time I get home many nights Bob has already eaten and is inside hunting for some sporting event to watch. Jenn and I kind of grab whatever we feel like eating. I try hard to remember the last time we all sat down at the table together for dinner. Sad to say I can't remember.....is this so unique.....are we so out of touch? What ever happened to the Sunday dinners of my youth......you did not get to pass on the Sunday family dinner.
Well. it is what it is.....eventually Jenn will be having dinner in her own home with her own family. That is as it should be. Will I mind.......no.... because that is the way life is......I may sit down at the table alone but that will be OK..... I have become comfortable enough with myself to be alone. And if I really want company I have enough good friends that wouldn't mind my company.......and now that I have worked on conquering my fear of flying.....my family is only a few hours away.......but I will probably drive anyway.....the control freak in me......LOL.
Funny how thinking about a one hour change on the clock brought me to having dinner alone.....the mind is an amazing thing......and my mind....well....you can see it can definitely wander.......
The short days made driving to NY difficult. You leave SC in the dark and get to NY in the dark......uugghh.
But there is something nice about seeing lights on in houses on the way home from work. Of course in my mind each house has a perfect family inside all sitting down to a great dinner together. Not like in my house where by the time I get home many nights Bob has already eaten and is inside hunting for some sporting event to watch. Jenn and I kind of grab whatever we feel like eating. I try hard to remember the last time we all sat down at the table together for dinner. Sad to say I can't remember.....is this so unique.....are we so out of touch? What ever happened to the Sunday dinners of my youth......you did not get to pass on the Sunday family dinner.
Well. it is what it is.....eventually Jenn will be having dinner in her own home with her own family. That is as it should be. Will I mind.......no.... because that is the way life is......I may sit down at the table alone but that will be OK..... I have become comfortable enough with myself to be alone. And if I really want company I have enough good friends that wouldn't mind my company.......and now that I have worked on conquering my fear of flying.....my family is only a few hours away.......but I will probably drive anyway.....the control freak in me......LOL.
Funny how thinking about a one hour change on the clock brought me to having dinner alone.....the mind is an amazing thing......and my mind....well....you can see it can definitely wander.......
Monday Morning At The Gym
I have a few days off from work so I am going to get my week off to the right start.....I will be at the gym at early in the morning. I wish I could get my lazy butt up early each morning and go to the gym before work but I just can't get myself in gear. But at least a few times in the next few weeks I will be able to get those endorphins going early......I haven't decided if I want to get some time in on the elliptical or just get in the pool......either way I can't lose!!!
From the gym I will be running errands.....might as well while I am still on an energy high....LOL.
Then in the afternoon I will hit "the wall".....I am sure there will be some nappage but I will have earned it.
Tuesday....same drill.....I will get to the gym early.
I am so looking forward to the early morning workouts.....no kidding!!!! And an added benefit is that usually after I work out I am not hungry.....talk about a win-win......I am so ready!!!!
From the gym I will be running errands.....might as well while I am still on an energy high....LOL.
Then in the afternoon I will hit "the wall".....I am sure there will be some nappage but I will have earned it.
Tuesday....same drill.....I will get to the gym early.
I am so looking forward to the early morning workouts.....no kidding!!!! And an added benefit is that usually after I work out I am not hungry.....talk about a win-win......I am so ready!!!!
Food At Work
I have worked at some places where they like to have food events. At my new job some of the employees talk about the company 30......like the freshman 15 at college. This is how this week played out.....
Monday was a "potluck" lunch plus each manager was given a bowl of candy to give the employees as they trick or treated through the office. Thursday was a welcome breakfast for the new hires. The food was from Breugger's Bagels......fresh bagels, muffins, pumpkin cream cheese spread and fresh fruit.
How did I do? I did not eat anything at the potluck lunch, I didn't eat one piece of candy and I didn't partake in any of the food from Breugger's. Do you know how huge that is for me??? It was hard....I so wanted to eat at each event but knew if I did I would be setting myself up to fail. Any candy left in my office was thrown out....yes I said it I threw it out. I will admit during a stressful meeting I did indulge in one mini size Snickers bar.....it was a tiny one and yes I ate only one. The brownies that I brought for the potluck.....not one crumb of brownie crossed my lips. I didn't even go to see if there were leftovers to take home. I didn't want to bring them back into the house.
Those were major victories for me. I will not gain the company 30......I know I cannot avoid every eating event but I can plan and try to make it work for me. With the holidays moving in quickly.....I need to be prepared. I think I can make it through without the scale moving up.....no I don't think I can.....I know I can....
Monday was a "potluck" lunch plus each manager was given a bowl of candy to give the employees as they trick or treated through the office. Thursday was a welcome breakfast for the new hires. The food was from Breugger's Bagels......fresh bagels, muffins, pumpkin cream cheese spread and fresh fruit.
How did I do? I did not eat anything at the potluck lunch, I didn't eat one piece of candy and I didn't partake in any of the food from Breugger's. Do you know how huge that is for me??? It was hard....I so wanted to eat at each event but knew if I did I would be setting myself up to fail. Any candy left in my office was thrown out....yes I said it I threw it out. I will admit during a stressful meeting I did indulge in one mini size Snickers bar.....it was a tiny one and yes I ate only one. The brownies that I brought for the potluck.....not one crumb of brownie crossed my lips. I didn't even go to see if there were leftovers to take home. I didn't want to bring them back into the house.
Those were major victories for me. I will not gain the company 30......I know I cannot avoid every eating event but I can plan and try to make it work for me. With the holidays moving in quickly.....I need to be prepared. I think I can make it through without the scale moving up.....no I don't think I can.....I know I can....
The Best Day Of My Life
We have all been asked this question and told not to give the obvious answers- for some.....the day they got married (not my choice).......or the day your children were born...
For me it was the latter....OK I know Jenn is going to hate me for this but yes this entry is about the best day of my life and that would have to be the day she was born. As her birthday approaches I can't help but think back to the time of her arrival. First, I wanted a daughter....not just for me but for my Dad. He was in the final stages of cancer and still had one item on his life's list of things to do, have or accomplish. He had been blessed with 4 grandsons by the time I was pregnant but no granddaughters.
I know Jenn hates when people over share so I will skip the swollen feet, weight gain, loss of feeling in both of my hands and the 27 hours of labor.....LOL. I will also skip what I told Bob he could do with his hand as he was counting for me and telling me when to breathe during labor. Let's not mention the new curse words I created either when he would ask how I was feeling.....LOL.....the girl in the Exorcist had nothing on me.....LOL.
I have always regretted being asleep when she was born. Her father was in the cafeteria eating breakfast......what a surprise. My doctor woke me up about 90 minutes after Jenn was born. The first thing I asked was what had I had.......when he said a girl I was thrilled!!!!
On her 18th birthday, we went to visit what would turn out to be the university she would attend as both an undergraduate and graduate student. It was a special day as she told me on the way home she really wanted to go to school there. As I listed to the excitement in her voice.....I thought about the day 18 years earlier. I was going to tell her about that day.....the best day of my life. But as I looked at her face so excited about the future, I decided to keep the thoughts to myself. I didn't think she would get it.......who wants to hear their Mom talk about the day they were born. I know I didn't until I became a Mom......
I wish I had known then there would only be one time I would experience that kind of joy......I might have appreciated it more.
Well Jenn, I didn't do too bad in writing this.....no humilating stories, nothing that you would mind others reading.....LOL.
You have added so much to my life not only as my daughter but also as you have gotten older as a friend. Yes, I will always be your Mom but I think we are allowed to be friends too.
And although I won't recount out loud to you about the days and hours before your birth.....let me say from the first time I laid my eyes on you I knew my life would never be the same.......you have only made it better!!!!!!
Happy Birthday Jenn!!!! I love you!!!!
For me it was the latter....OK I know Jenn is going to hate me for this but yes this entry is about the best day of my life and that would have to be the day she was born. As her birthday approaches I can't help but think back to the time of her arrival. First, I wanted a daughter....not just for me but for my Dad. He was in the final stages of cancer and still had one item on his life's list of things to do, have or accomplish. He had been blessed with 4 grandsons by the time I was pregnant but no granddaughters.
I know Jenn hates when people over share so I will skip the swollen feet, weight gain, loss of feeling in both of my hands and the 27 hours of labor.....LOL. I will also skip what I told Bob he could do with his hand as he was counting for me and telling me when to breathe during labor. Let's not mention the new curse words I created either when he would ask how I was feeling.....LOL.....the girl in the Exorcist had nothing on me.....LOL.
I have always regretted being asleep when she was born. Her father was in the cafeteria eating breakfast......what a surprise. My doctor woke me up about 90 minutes after Jenn was born. The first thing I asked was what had I had.......when he said a girl I was thrilled!!!!
On her 18th birthday, we went to visit what would turn out to be the university she would attend as both an undergraduate and graduate student. It was a special day as she told me on the way home she really wanted to go to school there. As I listed to the excitement in her voice.....I thought about the day 18 years earlier. I was going to tell her about that day.....the best day of my life. But as I looked at her face so excited about the future, I decided to keep the thoughts to myself. I didn't think she would get it.......who wants to hear their Mom talk about the day they were born. I know I didn't until I became a Mom......
I wish I had known then there would only be one time I would experience that kind of joy......I might have appreciated it more.
Well Jenn, I didn't do too bad in writing this.....no humilating stories, nothing that you would mind others reading.....LOL.
You have added so much to my life not only as my daughter but also as you have gotten older as a friend. Yes, I will always be your Mom but I think we are allowed to be friends too.
And although I won't recount out loud to you about the days and hours before your birth.....let me say from the first time I laid my eyes on you I knew my life would never be the same.......you have only made it better!!!!!!
Happy Birthday Jenn!!!! I love you!!!!
Saturday, October 29, 2011
The "C" Word
When Jenn was little we had a rule.....she was never allowed to say she hated someone or something. She could say she didn't like something but the word hate was a no-no. Except for one thing......cancer......she was allowed to hate that word and all it meant. As a child she didn't understand why she could hate cancer but not green beans. She didn't even really understand what cancer was.....
I told her I could not hate anything either except cancer and I have kept pretty true to that way of thinking.
Cancer has impacted too many people I care about......I have lost family and friends to this disease.....I have also watched with admiration family and friends wage a war that they have won......I have known victims.....I have known survivors....
I hate cancer, I hate cancer, I hate cancer.......
I told her I could not hate anything either except cancer and I have kept pretty true to that way of thinking.
Cancer has impacted too many people I care about......I have lost family and friends to this disease.....I have also watched with admiration family and friends wage a war that they have won......I have known victims.....I have known survivors....
I hate cancer, I hate cancer, I hate cancer.......
Back On the Scale
I woke up this morning and decided it was time to get the scale again. I hadn't been on the scale in maybe 8 weeks. I was feeling good and thought with my new eating pattern( eating when I am hungry and not feeling like I have to eat what everyone else eats) and the lack of free time at work to munch.....I am definitely eating less.
I weighed myself 5 times......LOL.....some things never change. I was down on the scale ....in all directions. I am 2 pounds away from another goal and that excites me. If I can be down 12-13 pounds by Christmas (that is a pretty ambitious goal), I would be at a great place to end the year. I will have to step it up at the gym but I feel focused.
Did you notice that I said I wanted to be down by year end? I usually want to get through the holidays by not gaining. This year I am trying to focus on going down. I am realistic enough to know that on Thanksgiving(which is my birthday) and Christmas Eve and Christmas Day all bets are off....I will not deprive myself of treats on those days. I am also going to focus on not eating my way from Halloween to Super Bowl Sunday. Occassionaly treats are fine....well here I go.......2 days until Halloween.....I love this time of year.....and I hate it too.....
I weighed myself 5 times......LOL.....some things never change. I was down on the scale ....in all directions. I am 2 pounds away from another goal and that excites me. If I can be down 12-13 pounds by Christmas (that is a pretty ambitious goal), I would be at a great place to end the year. I will have to step it up at the gym but I feel focused.
Did you notice that I said I wanted to be down by year end? I usually want to get through the holidays by not gaining. This year I am trying to focus on going down. I am realistic enough to know that on Thanksgiving(which is my birthday) and Christmas Eve and Christmas Day all bets are off....I will not deprive myself of treats on those days. I am also going to focus on not eating my way from Halloween to Super Bowl Sunday. Occassionaly treats are fine....well here I go.......2 days until Halloween.....I love this time of year.....and I hate it too.....
Tuesday, October 25, 2011
Isn't Turnabout Fair Play????
When I was a kid and someone was mean to me.....my first reaction was to be mean back. My Mom of course would advise me against that. The Bible says to turn the other cheek and some idiot came up with the phrase " to take the high road". Why??
If someone continues to hurt you intentionally.....why should you have to put up with that crap????? I was not put on this earth to be someones personal punching bag. So how do I deal with it......fighting back and being mean doesn't make for a peaceful situation. Can I get through to the people causing this pain and get them to change.....probably not. I am not perfect and I can hit below the belt and have gotten good at the verbal jabs......but I do not like being that person. So I try silence......but I can only be silent so long when someone continues to hurt me.
I have to figure it out.....remember I am the person who is not used to putting herself first....and all I want is peace.....
If someone continues to hurt you intentionally.....why should you have to put up with that crap????? I was not put on this earth to be someones personal punching bag. So how do I deal with it......fighting back and being mean doesn't make for a peaceful situation. Can I get through to the people causing this pain and get them to change.....probably not. I am not perfect and I can hit below the belt and have gotten good at the verbal jabs......but I do not like being that person. So I try silence......but I can only be silent so long when someone continues to hurt me.
I have to figure it out.....remember I am the person who is not used to putting herself first....and all I want is peace.....
Sunday, October 23, 2011
Create insanely different experiences
How do I do this??? I am not exactly the most adventurous person I know. Can insanely different experiences for me be traveling by myself to somewhere I have never been....for me oh yeah. Can it be me baring my soul in this blog....oh yeah. Changing jobs......big oh yeah.
I guess any time I step out of my comfort zone it would be an insanely different experience since I am so controlling and do not have an impulsive bone in my body. As I grow in confidence who knows what craziness I might try next. Spend a holiday someplace other than my own house......what travel on a holiday??? Not plan the meals for the week.....what would I write on the menu board.....leave it blank??? Buy myself something and not feel the need to justify it to anyone.....can't imagine it???
I will keep you posted as to what insanely different experiences I might try......or maybe I won't let you know unless I actually try them or succeed at them......and my idea of insanely wild could be way different from your......I mean which of you would think insanely different is going to the gym in the morning instead of after work......for me that would be huge......so don't look for entries about parasailing or skydiving or dancing on tables.....at least not from entries by me......but if any of you want to try any of those options.....let me know....I will be there to watch......
I guess any time I step out of my comfort zone it would be an insanely different experience since I am so controlling and do not have an impulsive bone in my body. As I grow in confidence who knows what craziness I might try next. Spend a holiday someplace other than my own house......what travel on a holiday??? Not plan the meals for the week.....what would I write on the menu board.....leave it blank??? Buy myself something and not feel the need to justify it to anyone.....can't imagine it???
I will keep you posted as to what insanely different experiences I might try......or maybe I won't let you know unless I actually try them or succeed at them......and my idea of insanely wild could be way different from your......I mean which of you would think insanely different is going to the gym in the morning instead of after work......for me that would be huge......so don't look for entries about parasailing or skydiving or dancing on tables.....at least not from entries by me......but if any of you want to try any of those options.....let me know....I will be there to watch......
Put A Dent In The Universe-- Steve Jobs
I think each of us puts a dent in the universe in one way or another. Somewhere I once heard you cannot change a grain of sand without changing the course of history. My grain of sand has been the lifestyle changes I have been making......it is changing my history.
I went to the Dr. this week......it was a good visit. All the numbers were where they should be and I felt good when I left.
I got back to the gym this week and spent 45 minutes jogging in the pool. When I went in to get changed one of the ladies in the locker room said to me "I was watching you and you were rocking it in the pool." That made me feel good!!!
I almost decided not to go to the gym......I got stuck later than I wanted to at work so by the time I got home got into my bathing suit and headed to the gym it was heading toward 7:00......I am usually heading home by then.....I was getting in the pool as the water aerobics class was getting out. It turned out OK I just started jogging and next thing I knew it was 7:45. I got home after 8:00 but at least I got my workout in and that's all that matters.
So with the path I am on I may put a dent in the universe.....it just won't be quite as big.....
I went to the Dr. this week......it was a good visit. All the numbers were where they should be and I felt good when I left.
I got back to the gym this week and spent 45 minutes jogging in the pool. When I went in to get changed one of the ladies in the locker room said to me "I was watching you and you were rocking it in the pool." That made me feel good!!!
I almost decided not to go to the gym......I got stuck later than I wanted to at work so by the time I got home got into my bathing suit and headed to the gym it was heading toward 7:00......I am usually heading home by then.....I was getting in the pool as the water aerobics class was getting out. It turned out OK I just started jogging and next thing I knew it was 7:45. I got home after 8:00 but at least I got my workout in and that's all that matters.
So with the path I am on I may put a dent in the universe.....it just won't be quite as big.....
Tablecloths and Plates
When I was in high school, I had a friend whose mother decorated a table in the from foyer of their house for the various seasons and holidays. I always thought that was very cool. My family did some decorating for Halloween and a lot for Christmas and always hung out our flag for the patriotic holidays. But there was something about the monthly changes at my friends house I loved.
I now have a different tablecloth, plates for the plate rack and a teddy bear with a sweater that gets changed for each month. I also have a small Christmas tree in my front window that gets changed each month. In addition, I have several flags for outside the house and a few extra seasonal plates. Add to this the Department 56 buildings that go in front of the fireplace. I know this is over the top.....and I haven't even mentioned the napkins and napkin rings......LOL.
The scary part is it seems like I have just put out the October decorations and the November things need to come out. Remember when you were young and it seems to take 10 years to get from one Christmas to the next? Now it's goes by in the blink of an eye......
Well, Monday it is time to put away the pumpkins etc and it's time for the leaves and turkey's......before I know it Santa and company will be all over the house.
I may have taken my friends mother's decorating idea to a different level or maybe just over the top but it makes me happy..........
I now have a different tablecloth, plates for the plate rack and a teddy bear with a sweater that gets changed for each month. I also have a small Christmas tree in my front window that gets changed each month. In addition, I have several flags for outside the house and a few extra seasonal plates. Add to this the Department 56 buildings that go in front of the fireplace. I know this is over the top.....and I haven't even mentioned the napkins and napkin rings......LOL.
The scary part is it seems like I have just put out the October decorations and the November things need to come out. Remember when you were young and it seems to take 10 years to get from one Christmas to the next? Now it's goes by in the blink of an eye......
Well, Monday it is time to put away the pumpkins etc and it's time for the leaves and turkey's......before I know it Santa and company will be all over the house.
I may have taken my friends mother's decorating idea to a different level or maybe just over the top but it makes me happy..........
Back In The Kitchen
With the summer now past and the weather getting cooler.....it is time to get back in the kitchen. No longer is it too hot to cook. I love the idea of getting the vegetable steamer out and having a variety of them to munch on. I love the fall and it turns my head to the wonderful smell of soup cooking in the kitchen. I have plenty of healthy soup options. I love salads but sometimes a warm bowl of soup can be so soothing.
This is also the most dangerous time of year....eating wise. I recently read an article that said from Halloween to Super Bowl Sunday, we eat so much more than the rest of the year. I have to be careful not to get sucked in as visions of Pumpkin Pie, Sweet Potato Souffle, Stuffing, Christmas Cookies and all the rest go dancing in my head.
I have learned a lot in the last year or two about healthy options and once again I will summon all my strength to get through the next few months and not watch the scale go up.
I will stick to my gym schedule, I am so busy at work that I am lucky to remember to eat lunch, I will remember to get up and walk around more at the office vs. stting at my desk for hours on end, I will make sure to have plenty of options for me food wise and I will make it to Super Bowl Sunday without that number on the scale moving up.......wouldn't it be fabulous if it moved down during this time of year!!! Well, that is what I will be working toward.....
I am not saying I will be perfect and I cannot promise that a piece of pumpkin pie will not pass my lips........but I will be more aware of what I am eating.
I will keep my goals of healthier eating, weight loss and getting in better shape physically in the front of my mind. But I sure do wish it was the Monday after Super Bowl Sunday and I had this all behind me..... and less of a behind......LOL!!!
This is also the most dangerous time of year....eating wise. I recently read an article that said from Halloween to Super Bowl Sunday, we eat so much more than the rest of the year. I have to be careful not to get sucked in as visions of Pumpkin Pie, Sweet Potato Souffle, Stuffing, Christmas Cookies and all the rest go dancing in my head.
I have learned a lot in the last year or two about healthy options and once again I will summon all my strength to get through the next few months and not watch the scale go up.
I will stick to my gym schedule, I am so busy at work that I am lucky to remember to eat lunch, I will remember to get up and walk around more at the office vs. stting at my desk for hours on end, I will make sure to have plenty of options for me food wise and I will make it to Super Bowl Sunday without that number on the scale moving up.......wouldn't it be fabulous if it moved down during this time of year!!! Well, that is what I will be working toward.....
I am not saying I will be perfect and I cannot promise that a piece of pumpkin pie will not pass my lips........but I will be more aware of what I am eating.
I will keep my goals of healthier eating, weight loss and getting in better shape physically in the front of my mind. But I sure do wish it was the Monday after Super Bowl Sunday and I had this all behind me..... and less of a behind......LOL!!!
Dr. Seuss and the Octopus
No, this is not the name of a new Dr. Seuss book that you have never heard of....
Victoria.....
I was very happy to see pictures of my great niece, Victoria, with her grandparents on facebook. Victoria was in her Halloween costume for a party at her day care center. She is the spitting image on my nephew Michael. Victoria was an octopus and a pink octopus to boot. She was smiling and looked to be enjoying herself in each photo. It reminded me of a Halloween over 25 years ago when Mikey was dressed as Snoopy for Halloween. Putting it mildly.......he was not very happy in his costume. Victoria on the other hand seemed to be having a grand time......8 arms and all!!!
Elouise.......
What do you get the girl who has everything? This was my problem when it came to my new great niece Elouise Elizabeth. There is a rumor she could change hourly for the next 2 years and never run out of clothes. I wanted to send something but struggled with what.....
Then it hit me.....when we were kids a cousin sent us a book of children's literature. One of the stories in the book was "And To Think That I Saw It On Mulberry Street". My Dad loved that story and could recite it from memory. When my brother George's sons were born he painted the whole story on their bedroom walls. So off to Miss Elouise went a piece of family history.....I wasn't even sure Nick would remember the story or his bedroom walls with it painted there. I put a note with the book giving a gentle reminder of the stories history in our family.
I was very happy when Grandma Patty sent me a message on facebook that the book had arrived. Patty also gave Nick and Sally the family background on the book. I am happy to report that Grandma Patty said Miss Elouise has officially heard the story for the first time......I am sure it will not be the last.....
Victoria.....
I was very happy to see pictures of my great niece, Victoria, with her grandparents on facebook. Victoria was in her Halloween costume for a party at her day care center. She is the spitting image on my nephew Michael. Victoria was an octopus and a pink octopus to boot. She was smiling and looked to be enjoying herself in each photo. It reminded me of a Halloween over 25 years ago when Mikey was dressed as Snoopy for Halloween. Putting it mildly.......he was not very happy in his costume. Victoria on the other hand seemed to be having a grand time......8 arms and all!!!
Elouise.......
What do you get the girl who has everything? This was my problem when it came to my new great niece Elouise Elizabeth. There is a rumor she could change hourly for the next 2 years and never run out of clothes. I wanted to send something but struggled with what.....
Then it hit me.....when we were kids a cousin sent us a book of children's literature. One of the stories in the book was "And To Think That I Saw It On Mulberry Street". My Dad loved that story and could recite it from memory. When my brother George's sons were born he painted the whole story on their bedroom walls. So off to Miss Elouise went a piece of family history.....I wasn't even sure Nick would remember the story or his bedroom walls with it painted there. I put a note with the book giving a gentle reminder of the stories history in our family.
I was very happy when Grandma Patty sent me a message on facebook that the book had arrived. Patty also gave Nick and Sally the family background on the book. I am happy to report that Grandma Patty said Miss Elouise has officially heard the story for the first time......I am sure it will not be the last.....
A Pedicure and Ironing
By the time I left work on Saturday I was so ready to do something for me. I had to do some juggling but was able to get an appointment for a pedi at 3:30 on Saturday. I left the office at 3:00 and was right on time. Brandi was just great.....she really pampered me as we talked about our families, tattoo's (her's not mine) and the new colors of polish coming out. Even when she was done she said "Just sit there and relax." Which I did.......I could feel the stress and craziness of the week slowly slip away......thanks Brandi....you were just what the Dr. ordered!!!!!
As I was driving home Jenn called me.....not only had she done the food shopping but she had also done the ironing.....God I love that girl!!!!!
As I was driving home Jenn called me.....not only had she done the food shopping but she had also done the ironing.....God I love that girl!!!!!
A Family Visit
I was expecting my brother and his wife (George and Marge) on Wednesday. I took the day off and was going to finish cleaing the house before their arrival. So imagine my surpise when my Mom called me at work and told me George and Marge were sitting under the underpass at I26 and I77.....trying to avoid the rain. Oh did I mention this was on TUESDAY......yes Tuesday!!!!!!
Thank goodness they couldn't see the look on my face as I yelled into the phone"What do you mean they are in Columbia?????". I called Jenn and told her to get right home after work. The Wednesday dinner I had planned was moved to Tuesday. We had tortolini and meatball soup and ceasar salad. When I got home from work......slightly frazzled.
On Wednesday, they got the full southern eating experience......Krispy Kreme doughnuts (I didn't have any since one would no where be close to filling me up and I didn't want to have one and then want more).......later in the day I dropped them at the State Fair so they could check out the food and exhibits. I told George it was ok to wear a t-shirt, shorts, and his boots.....hey it's the SC State Fair not an White House state dinner. They enjoyed themselves with corn dogs, funnel cakes and George even tried fried butter!!! I don't think he will try it again but I give him credit for trying it. He said you could feel a heart attack happening as you ate the little deep fried balls of butter. We ended the day by having dinner at Rockaways....great burgers and once again some fried foods. Jenn had made one of George's favorite cookies......chocolate chips. Can you see the theme running through this paragraph......LOL.
Too soon it was Thursday morning and they were leaving to head back to NY. It was a short but fun visit. I left them the house key and told them when they were ready to leave just stop by Chic-Fil-A and give the key to Bob......since there aren't a lot of Chic-Fil-A's near them in NY it just made sense to have them grab a chicken biscuit on the way out of town........
Thank goodness they couldn't see the look on my face as I yelled into the phone"What do you mean they are in Columbia?????". I called Jenn and told her to get right home after work. The Wednesday dinner I had planned was moved to Tuesday. We had tortolini and meatball soup and ceasar salad. When I got home from work......slightly frazzled.
On Wednesday, they got the full southern eating experience......Krispy Kreme doughnuts (I didn't have any since one would no where be close to filling me up and I didn't want to have one and then want more).......later in the day I dropped them at the State Fair so they could check out the food and exhibits. I told George it was ok to wear a t-shirt, shorts, and his boots.....hey it's the SC State Fair not an White House state dinner. They enjoyed themselves with corn dogs, funnel cakes and George even tried fried butter!!! I don't think he will try it again but I give him credit for trying it. He said you could feel a heart attack happening as you ate the little deep fried balls of butter. We ended the day by having dinner at Rockaways....great burgers and once again some fried foods. Jenn had made one of George's favorite cookies......chocolate chips. Can you see the theme running through this paragraph......LOL.
Too soon it was Thursday morning and they were leaving to head back to NY. It was a short but fun visit. I left them the house key and told them when they were ready to leave just stop by Chic-Fil-A and give the key to Bob......since there aren't a lot of Chic-Fil-A's near them in NY it just made sense to have them grab a chicken biscuit on the way out of town........
Gotta Get on Schedule
I have gotten back in control of my eating......for the most part. I have tried to avoid the land mines including banning Jenn from making brownies. The brownies scream my name and the only way to quiet them is to have one. No more brownies in the house!!!! Then of course there is the dreaded Halloween candy. I am not allowing my favorites into the house.......almond joys and snickers. Tootsie rolls are OK because the calorie count is not bad and they are easy to control. Even though I am not a huge fan of reeses peanut butter cups and malt balls.......they are in a glass pumpkin on the table......each time someone opens the jar I can hear my name being faintly called by the candies but so far I have stuck my fingers in my ears and hummed loudly to not hear them too much.
My work schedule has made getting to the gym somewhat difficult but this week I need to make this my focus. If necessary I will take my laptop home and finish whatever I don't get to before I leave the office. The gym is important to me for many reasons: I feel better when I am on a regular schedule at the gym, I burn more calories and I love the way I feel when I am done and those endorphins kick in.
So this week......no matter what.....I will be at the gym back on my regular schedule....unlesss......nope.....no unless.....this is too important to me!!!!!
My work schedule has made getting to the gym somewhat difficult but this week I need to make this my focus. If necessary I will take my laptop home and finish whatever I don't get to before I leave the office. The gym is important to me for many reasons: I feel better when I am on a regular schedule at the gym, I burn more calories and I love the way I feel when I am done and those endorphins kick in.
So this week......no matter what.....I will be at the gym back on my regular schedule....unlesss......nope.....no unless.....this is too important to me!!!!!
Sunday, October 16, 2011
Over 300 Hundred Posts.....
It seems like it took forever to get my first 100 posts done.....now I just passed my 300th entry....WOW!!!
What have I learned as I have been writing.......other than the obvious......that I feel more confident about my ability to write.....
I may not have gone through the physical transformation that I had hoped for but I am NOT giving up.......the new improved Donna is still coming your way......just at a snails pace....
I feel better physically than I did when I started......thanks to ....Carol......Gold's Gym.....and Jenn who kicked my butt through the door of the gym on the days when I didn't feel like going.....
Psychologically.......I am a work in progress........my confidence is up......some.....
I don't think I would consider myself broken when I started this process.....maybe vey badly bruised......but the healing process continues.......one day at a time.....one hour at a time....sometimes one second at a time.....
To heal......I need to continue to learn to love myself........I need to learn to reach out more......I need to be honest.....and I need to laugh more.....
A tall order.......but one I think I can fill......all in good time.......I feel like I am heading in the right direction.....just the road has more turns and bumps than I anticipated at the start......
What have I learned as I have been writing.......other than the obvious......that I feel more confident about my ability to write.....
I may not have gone through the physical transformation that I had hoped for but I am NOT giving up.......the new improved Donna is still coming your way......just at a snails pace....
I feel better physically than I did when I started......thanks to ....Carol......Gold's Gym.....and Jenn who kicked my butt through the door of the gym on the days when I didn't feel like going.....
Psychologically.......I am a work in progress........my confidence is up......some.....
I don't think I would consider myself broken when I started this process.....maybe vey badly bruised......but the healing process continues.......one day at a time.....one hour at a time....sometimes one second at a time.....
To heal......I need to continue to learn to love myself........I need to learn to reach out more......I need to be honest.....and I need to laugh more.....
A tall order.......but one I think I can fill......all in good time.......I feel like I am heading in the right direction.....just the road has more turns and bumps than I anticipated at the start......
Do I Need An Adventure?
You would think the last 2 months has provided me with more adventure than I would need in a year. But I am feeling the need for another kind of adventure but I am not sure what I want. Is it a trip? Is it visiting relatives or friends? Is it breaking out and doing something different. I see others around me doing things and I envy them. The problem is I don't know what it is I want to do.....
I have to figure it out. I think my new job has given me satisfaction career wise so that is a place I can leave alone. I am writing my blog regularly so check that off. The fall is my favorite time of year and I am happy the weather is finally cooling off. So what is it that I am lacking that makes me feel empty at times....
There are not "things" that I desire (well except an IPAD") OK and maybe a convertible......LOL.....but inside I feel like I need something......maybe more time with friends.....more laughter.....the hard part is by the end of the week I am so tired all I want to do is sit in my recliner and read (after the gym of course)....I can't wait for things to happen.....maybe I need to make them happen.....OK a new challenge.....what can I do to shake tings up....
Stay tuned.....as I try to sort this out......do others feel like this.....I can't believe it is just me bored with the monotony of every day life.....or is it???
I have to figure it out. I think my new job has given me satisfaction career wise so that is a place I can leave alone. I am writing my blog regularly so check that off. The fall is my favorite time of year and I am happy the weather is finally cooling off. So what is it that I am lacking that makes me feel empty at times....
There are not "things" that I desire (well except an IPAD") OK and maybe a convertible......LOL.....but inside I feel like I need something......maybe more time with friends.....more laughter.....the hard part is by the end of the week I am so tired all I want to do is sit in my recliner and read (after the gym of course)....I can't wait for things to happen.....maybe I need to make them happen.....OK a new challenge.....what can I do to shake tings up....
Stay tuned.....as I try to sort this out......do others feel like this.....I can't believe it is just me bored with the monotony of every day life.....or is it???
Back In The Pool
I promised myself I would get back into the gym on a regular schedule again. I made the point of getting to the Water Aerobics classes on Tuesday and Thursday. The hard part was this meant I must leave the office by 5:10....no ifs ands or buts....that is hard for me......I keep saying to myself ....I will just do one more thing. I finally just have to get up and leave. I get to the gym and am kind of frazzled. But after I am in the pool a few minutes....I start to relax. It is so therapeutic. I have to remember that I matter......it is easy to get lost in the shuffle. That was my mistake before....I put myself behind so many things......I have to say to myself.....Donna the office will not fall apart if you leave to go to the gym.
By the time I get home......a lot of the stresses of the day are gone.....the gym works it magic on me.....it feels wonderful!!!!
By the time I get home......a lot of the stresses of the day are gone.....the gym works it magic on me.....it feels wonderful!!!!
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